Can't seem to meet a woman

LegacyUser

Hello all,

I'm feeling quite frustrated lately. I'm 25, not a bad looking guy, and have a pretty good job now. I've got a few good friends and family, and things are going quite well in general.

However I haven't been in a "serious" relationship since I was about 18. I've had a handful of short-term things, and do go through patches where I'll go out on dates, but lately there just doesn't seem to be any prospect of meeting someone.

I'm trying to put myself "out there" quite a bit... I've recently started in a job with more women working there... I joined a creative writing class... went speed dating... tried online dating... Today I even did something as lame as to go into town on my own and hang around a few different coffee shops, hoping I might make eye contact with someone! I do chat to and get along with all the women in the job, and in the class, but any that I'd be interested in seem to be in relationships.

My circle of friends and acquaintances is widening thanks to the things above, so I'm hoping that eventually I'll end up meeting someone through friends-of-friends, at a party, etc... But in the meantime it's quite frustrating and demoralising to have no one.

I guess I'm a better position than lots of people, in that I *do* seem to meet women and get out dating sometimes, and most of my friends are actually single too, so that's a help. But it's little consolation really!

I suppose most people would say to just be patient and try to put it out of my mind, and let it happen naturally, and I guess I agree. Certainly the desperation must be oozing from me, which isn't likely to be an attractive quality.

If anyone has any advice or thoughts, or especially some practical suggestions or ideas for putting myself out there "further" , that would be great.

Thanks

LegacyUser

Hi OP

This kind of answers your question - "Certainly the desperation must be oozing from me, which isn't likely to be an attractive quality."

So you really need to relax. You are in a great position. You're very young, loads of your peers are single, a good looking lad with lots of interests.

But tell me this, are you joining the classes purely to meet women, or is it something you are passionate about? Women will sense if it is the former.
What I look for in a guy is someone with lots of interests but they are his own interests and he does them just for himself with no ulterior motive.

But please relax. I'm a 37 year old woman and every guy I meet is married. So a different boat altogether, but my prospects are a lot more limited! Ha!

LegacyUser

OP here

Thanks for the post above

Would love some more thoughts please! Feeling very down about it lately

illicit007

Keep doing new things, going new groups and meeting new people. Best way to meet women is through friend of friends (who you'll meet by making friends) Internet dating (which is tough actually, I find its easier too...) Approach women in day to day life, be confident and don't seem desperate, be like you can take it or leave it but you know what you want, this is what you want end of story. Girls love a guy who knows what he wants. It's comforting. Be calm and positive. You'll get there.

For me, a while back when I was kinda newly single and a little desperate for some action I wasn't getting any. Got sick of it and decided to concentrate on improving my environment, my social circle, my money situation, my closet etc. After that I noticed girls were more naturally drawn to me. Also when I decided I wanted to get back into the dating scene I approached it from the perspective that I'm just going to have fun and talk with and laugh with anyone (even if they're a hot girl who I'd fancy) and think of them as just another person I'm having a laugh with.

That's the long version of my advice.


The short version is: If you're finding it hard to pick up girls, you're probably over thinking it.
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