Can i date a muslim girl?

juan_10

Need some advice I have recently fallen for a Muslim girl I have met in college we get along really well and she seems to like me, can i ask her out Or will this ruin our friendship/offend her? she wears a hijab but is not overly religious, im an Atheist any advice on this would be very welcome

Midnight Sundance

I would ask her out, what's the worst that could happen ? She says no then you know where you stand.

juan_10

I would love to ask her out but i don’t want to make things awkward between us it’s a very delicate situation

davemc180

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a posse ad esse

Techinically no. In Islam a Muslim male can marry a female that is not Muslim but she has to be from "the Book" (Christian or Jewish) and would not have to convert.

A male however, can only marry a Muslim female if he converts. This is not to say there has never been a case of a Muslim female marrying a non one. I am sure there are some that didn't. You are probably wondering why I mention marriage when you only want to date her. Well in Islam there technically is no dating.

To get to the point, you can ask her and see what she says. But if you want an honest opinion, if she wears a hijab she is practising and religious. If she were not as religious as you say she is to be honest she would not be wearing a hijab living in Ireland. I have met many not so religious Muslim females who wear hijabs but that is because they are in their home country and are abiding more by social customs than religious duty. The fact that she is in Ireland and wearing one says to me that she is.

You would have a higher chance with her if you are a practising Christian or Jew but you are not even a believer. And in Islam that is considered to be the worst. If you ever travel to that region never put atheist in your visa form.

This doesn't mean that she does not like you but probably sees you as a good friend.

Sorry for the long post but I have many Muslim friends and have travelled extensively in the Middle East and Africa.

juan_10

Thanks, a posse ad esse
I am aware of almost everything you have pointed out, Particularly the dating thing she does not yet know i am a non believer and by her own admission she is not that religious, I fully agree with your point of wearing the hijab in Ireland, hence the confusion we are close but not in the typical lets be friends way, there is alot of flirting between us I’m sure it will probably never happen but thought i would seek some advice thanks for your input

a posse ad esse

She is not that religious compared to other Muslims or compared to the Irish?

Do you know what denomination of Islam she is? What country she is from originally? Is she of mixed background (maybe her mother is Christian)? That could help explain it more.

JustAThought

juan_10 wrote: »

Need some advice I have recently fallen for a Muslim girl I have met in college we get along really well and she seems to like me, can i ask her out Or will this ruin our friendship/offend her? she wears a hijab but is not overly religious, im an Atheist any advice on this would be very welcome

Hmmm.

They have VERY different codes & rules. You might be right to be concerned about loosing the friendship.

Tread softly.

Have you noticed her close friends? Do they date? How do they hang around ? Is it all girls or mixed with couples?

Like it or not, it is a different cultural code totally. If you don't want to loose the friendship I'd be very careful before I acted.

Probably not what you want to hear - sorry!

Merkin

If she is wearing a hijab then regardless of how non religious she claims to be she is still a conformist and asking her out on a date would be a big no-no unfortunately.

If you're good pals with her, next time you are having a coffee and a chat why don't you open a very general discussion about Islam and dating.You should be able to glean some answers then without causing offence and upset.

juan_10

a posse ad esse, she is not that religious compared to other Muslim girls, has lived here for over 10 years, both her parents are Muslim i have no idea what denomination of Islam she is?

juan_10

JustAThought,
I agree with everything you say, her friends are a mix of guys and girls but i dont think its worth loosing the friendship by acting stupid thanks

juan_10

Merkin, That is very good point wearing a hijab is a choice right? I think that’s exactly what I’ll try do next time we get some time alone, i don’t mind being rejected just don’t want to offend her in the process

a posse ad esse

juan_10 wrote: »

a posse ad esse, she is not that religious compared to other Muslim girls, has lived here for over 10 years, both her parents are Muslim i have no idea what denomination of Islam she is?

I know of some sects where they are more "laid back". Also her culture can also explain it. There are stark differences between the Muslims from Turkey versus Saudi Arabia when it comes to practising also. A religious Turkish Muslim is not the same as one from Saudi Arabia. They are at different wavelengths.

Just a point I want to make. I have studied with Muslims who have dated and fooled around with non-Muslims in uni. They would have their fun but once it's time to get serious the relationships ended and they ended up marrying someone from their background.

One of the posters stated about speaking with her in regards to dating. I think that would be a good start.

Eric Cartman

The fact that shes even friends with an unmarried male is breaking with the rules of the muslim faith , she could just be wearing the hijab because her parents are strict muslims and she would get into an argument if she came home without it , does she drink alcohol or eat pork ? Could be clues to how lax on her religion she is. Perssonally I would say go for it, ask her out, but expect your relationship to be kept secret from her parents and you not meet them / go to her house , it might get a bit annoying but its a different culture.

shalalala

Ask her in conversation if she has or would date a non-Muslim? Ask her about her denomination. If you are friends it seems like a pretty normal thing to come up in conversation.

mood

I think even if she wanted to go out with you her family would freak out. I think there is no hard in asking about dating, mixed religion relationships etc but I think it's a non runner and you will save your self hassle and heartache by just letting this go.

And OP when she marries (a muslim man) she will be expected to be a virgin.

LegacyUser

As a previous poster said, a muslim man can marry a woman of 'the book', but a muslim woman CANNOT. It's to ensure children are raised in the Islamic faith (so father must be muslim).

If she's wearing the veil, she IS making a religious statement, whether she maintains she's religious or not. Parental & family influences are likely to be more adhered to than in Irish society, and if she's wearing the hijab because her parents require her to rather than she wants to, she is not likely to go against their wishes in matters of HUGE importance such as dating or in matters where she could get into serious trouble with them for just doing what she wants.

OP, she's likely to marry a muslim man and she will have to be a virgin.
The religious influence is much much stronger- and more ingrained.

I'm speaking from experience. I was engaged to a muslim man, we were together for years. He claimed to be against organised religion entirely, drank, ate pork, not religious in any sense. Then I got pregnant and suddenly religion raised its ugly head. He told me that when we visit his home country we had to pretend the baby is Muslim or he would be taken and i would never see him again (along with other threats). Not unsurprisingly i am now a single mother.

I really think you should just let it go, by all means talk to her to try and glean whatever info you can. But remember if her parents are devout, they are likely to be keeping her on a tight leash.

Beruthiel

a posse ad esse wrote: »

if she wears a hijab she is practising and religious.

This.
Therefore, she will not be into frivolous relationships and would expect one to be taken seriously.
As an atheist, would you be happy with your children joining her religion?

You might think that's a crazy question to be asking about someone you haven't even asked to go on a date yet.
But, if you can answer that question now, you'll save yourself a whole world of pain down the line if the relationship actually did go somewhere.