When to propose??

Plek Trum

Hi all,
will try and keep things brief. Basically have been with my OH for nearly 11 years, we are mid-purchase our first home togther and also have started trying for our family - busy year.

She has a 'significant' birthday coming up next month and I would like to finally ask (properly.. we joke about it all the time and always say 'some day'!)

There is a suprise party the weekend before her birthday, family and friends confirmed. I have no intention of asking in front of an audience but was wondering if:

(1) I should ask just before we go to the party, can discreetly let friends and family know when we arrive and share the good news, double celebration
or
(2) Ask on the day of her birthday, just the two of us, when we shall be away together.

Can't run it by friends or family as we all know each other. She isn't demanding at all, never has need for drama or theatrics but has always said she would say yes at the right time .

Any thoughts??

Sadderday

You got two great options there anyway!

Gud luck and Congrats!

westies4ever

Putting myself in her shoes, I'd go with option 2 - when you''re away in your own, especially as you say shes not into drama etc.

Congrats and I hope all goes well.

Sadderday

I dunno, i think the 1st option, before the party- then yas have a party and a trip to look forward to and it could be more time for you to actually enjoy the excitement of a new engagement for as long as you can before kinda returning to normality if ya know what i mean

Plek Trum

I know, I'm gone round in circles trying to decide!!

She never needs the limelight, is always great craic but has mentioned jokingly that she would like a little bit of an 'occasion' when it does happen, right setting etc. I feel its her one time of 'being in the limelight' if you know what I mean, and maybe when we have friends and family there its her chance to be centre of attention.

Hhhhmmm.. or would you rather wake up on your actual birthday morning and be asked over breakfast in a lovely hotel?!

Sadderday

I'm a female... option 1. party & trip to look forward to (flash the ring and get the freebies). On the morning of her birthday a nice little gift, necklace something to show that you didnt want one occasion to shadow the other. its a thoughtful process, she will be delighted either way.

It's hard to know... I suppose if you don't feel the right moment arising on the day of the party you can hang on for the trip.... it's a win win win win for you!

Congrats again! Do post and let us know how it goes anyway!

Plek Trum

Nice thinking, I like it WIll get the thinking camp on and get organised, I feel this may be the way to go. Pretty confident all will go well... hopfeully not famouse last words (!)

Sadderday wrote: »

I'm a female... option 1. party & trip to look forward to (flash the ring and get the freebies). On the morning of her birthday a nice little gift, necklace something to show that you didnt want one occasion to shadow the other. its a thoughtful process, she will be delighted either way.

It's hard to know... I suppose if you don't feel the right moment arising on the day of the party you can hang on for the trip.... it's a win win win win for you!

Congrats again! Do post and let us know how it goes anyway!

westies4ever

im female too! but im probably showing my oddness. Im not one for the limelight or being the centre of attention.

Id like a proposal to be private and intimate.

having said that, I'll think she'll be delighted either way and fair play to you for putting so much effort and though into it.

Sadderday

westies4ever wrote: »

im female too! but im probably showing my oddness. Im not one for the limelight or being the centre of attention.

Id like a proposal to be private and intimate.

having said that, I'll think she'll be delighted either way and fair play to you for putting so much effort and though into it.

In fairness, this is also a nice idea....... i don't think that you can wrong here!

Beruthiel

You say that she is not into drama or theatrics, so option two is the way to go.
It will be just the two of you, more intimate and that is always better for something like this.
It will also be a case of, just when she thought the weekend couldn't get any better....

Champagne breakfast in bed PT and slip the box on the tray.

westies4ever

Beruthiel wrote: »

Champagne breakfast in bed PT and slip the box on the tray.

Oh Lord that sounds perfect!!!!!

tosser5

OPTION 2 is defo the way to go!!

Gatica

for me, I think option 1 is best. You can still bring her breakfast in bed and propose. Make it romantic and intimate. Do it at home, not at the venue before the party. All the more a surprise, cos she'll be thinking, but it's not my birthday yet, what a great surprise!
Then you have the option to decide together whether to share the good news with family and friends at the party or not. If you don't already have the ring picked out, you may very well both feel that you'd like to wait til you have the ring to tell. Or you may just decide that it's the best time to tell because most of her friends and family will be there.... She doesn't have to be a dramatic or attention seeking person to want to share news of an engagement.