Recently Assessed and Diagnosed? - mod note Post #2

LegacyUser

Hi people, I just wanted to start that from scratch here.When I was a child and a teenager I used to have a hard time, with personal relationships, social awkwardness and being a poor student. I was bullied/teased quite a bit and I always used to wonder how people made friends or what I was doing wrong as person and as a student.

Despite my flaws I managed to scrape the marks to get into university, but I have repeated every single year with the exception of 3rd year, it really only has been stubborness that I have not dropped out.

I am in my final year now, repeating. But I have learnt so many things about myself and met some great people and made friends. But all that happened because I had to observe how people acted and spoke in social situations and what was appropiate. I had a tough time making friends when I was younger.

I for a long time asked myself was it because I was lazy, stupid, useless, unmotivated? No matter how hard I tried to , pay attention in class or do any work whatsoever my mind would always wander, than I would remember an hour or two later what I was supposed to do. The only time that didn't happen was if I had a keen interest in the subject.

Eventually, someone recommended me that I get assessed. I was diagnosed today with Asperger's Sydrome and AD, both apparently have resulted in periods of depression and anxiety.

I don't know how to treat these news, I knew there was something wrong/different about me, ever since I was a child.

Now I feel as if I am in a daze ever since receiving the news, and I am not sure how to proccess it. How should I feel? Should I feel relieved, happy, upset, angry? I am so confused and stressed at the moment.

Taltos

Mod Note: Per our charter and faq can I remind posters not to offer any medical advice. Please keep your replies on topic and away from any medical approach - holistic or otherwise.

Thanks
Taltos

molly09

Who am I, what should I do? wrote: »

Hi people, I just wanted to start that from scratch here.When I was a child and a teenager I used to have a hard time, with personal relationships, social awkwardness and being a poor student. I was bullied/teased quite a bit and I always used to wonder how people made friends or what I was doing wrong as person and as a student.

Despite my flaws I managed to scrape the marks to get into university, but I have repeated every single year with the exception of 3rd year, it really only has been stubborness that I have not dropped out.

I am in my final year now, repeating. But I have learnt so many things about myself and met some great people and made friends. But all that happened because I had to observe how people acted and spoke in social situations and what was appropiate. I had a tough time making friends when I was younger.

I for a long time asked myself was it because I was lazy, stupid, useless, unmotivated? No matter how hard I tried to , pay attention in class or do any work whatsoever my mind would always wander, than I would remember an hour or two later what I was supposed to do. The only time that didn't happen was if I had a keen interest in the subject.

Eventually, someone recommended me that I get assessed. I was diagnosed today with Asperger's Sydrome and AD, both apparently have resulted in periods of depression and anxiety.

I don't know how to treat these news, I knew there was something wrong/different about me, ever since I was a child.

Now I feel as if I am in a daze ever since receiving the news, and I am not sure how to proccess it. How should I feel? Should I feel relieved, happy, upset, angry? I am so confused and stressed at the moment.

op you are the exact same person today as you were the day before you got the diagnosis. this as something positive. You now know that this is a 'condition' you have. It does not mean you are stupid, but it means you learn in a different way. Why not talk to be psyciologist to learn more about your diagnosis and what technique you can use to help with your education and social situations,

Best of luck to you

skyfall2012

Hi OP, I have so much admiration for your tenacity! I am happy to hear you made good friends throughout your life, just remember some people who don't have this diagnosis can find socialising hard, experience anxiety and never really be sure how to deal with it. With a diagnosis you can now receive help and guidance through groups like www.aspergersupport.ie. Good luck OP. Well done on making it through Uni!

looksee

OP, I know there is a very real difference between 'having a problem' and being diagnosed. Suddenly there is a completely different situation. It doesn't make any sense why this should be the case, but I know it does, not just for Aspergers but for any long term condition.

You are a bit shocked that your situation has suddenly been made a fact, made into an 'illness' or condition that puts you into a category. Give yourself time to absorb the facts, and look for help, both to discuss your reaction and how to use this information to help you deal with social and other problems.

Good luck and best wishes.

Challo

I think also a diagnosis can help person understand themselves better. OP, you've mentioned subtle difficulties throughout your childhood and adolescence which you previously wondered were a result of laziness, lack of motivation and so on. Now you know that it part of 'you' - a way of being. Maybe over the next few weeks, things will fall into place for you in terms of understanding your areas of strength and difficulty.

I agree with the point above that you're the same person as you were before the assessment. In addition, your diagnosis is yours alone - share it with no-one or anyone, it's your choice. I would say there are probably a lot of adults who could meet diagnostic criteria for different conditions but don't seek an assessment.

The other advantage of a diagnosis is that it can help access supports and I would strongly advise you to pursue these. To answer your question on what to do next, it may be useful to contact the person who assessed you and ask those questions when you're ready to do so.

And without sounding flippant, Greg Le Monde and Michael Phelps both have a diagnosis of ADHD while there is a lot of speculation that Lincoln and Einstein had Asperger's Syndrome.

Scruffles

OP,
there is no set way to feel after being diagnosed with any condition that has been lifelong,everyone processes things differently.
remember nothing has changed,are no different now just because have got a label.

it is a pity were not aware of the spectrum changes and did not wait till may onwards for assessment,because from may this year the DSM diagnostic manual is merging all forms of autism into one and removing fragile x,any of us who are already diagnosed with some form of autism have got up to ten years for it to remain as a valid formal medical label so we will all need to get rediagnosed at some point if we require a label [eg,accessing support services,disability benefits,specialist autism therapies,residential care,social services etc,people who only need informal understanding off other people woud not need to waste more money on another diagnosis].

woud recommend going to a support group where there are other people with ASDs, may find it very helpful to know other people with it and to see that are not so different when are surrounded by people with ASDs.
woud not recommend ASD forums because most of them are full of 'pretenders'/fakers sockpuppet accounts,it is the reason had stopped using them years ago,unfortunately there are very few sites that ask for some sort of proof,if even just to show each account is a different person.
woud recommend starting a blog somewhere such as blogspot/blogger and using it as a mental archive/diary for anything to do with thoughts on aspergers,life etc,it is a good destressor and will end up probably getting to know a lot of spectrumers when they find the blog.

as for education,is there support in universities for disabled people? in this country think disabled university students [such as aspies with executive dysfunction difficulties- memory,attention etc] can get access to a fund which they can use to have a note taker, a prompter etc.

Challo wrote: »

And without sounding flippant, Greg Le Monde and Michael Phelps both have a diagnosis of ADHD while there is a lot of speculation that Lincoln and Einstein had Asperger's Syndrome.

it is a common misconception that einstein coud have been aspie.
the reason people placed him under aspergers was his inteligence and ability; whereas he did not start speaking until he was four years old-he said it himself in a letter to his mother, this is a significant speech delay and under the current ASD rules [not for long though] if evidece is correct; that woud have placed him under classic autism/autistic disorder.
to those of us with classic autism it feels dehumanising when autism is assumed to be based on ability/worth,the common belief is that only smart and/or sucesful autistic people are aspies, many classic autistic people;including some with profound autism such as tito mukhopadhyay have skills that have enabled them to be succesful in their skill areas.
leo kanners first classic autistic patients became sucesful by educating their parents to help their children strengthen their interests,with one patient he got the parents to help him learn to speak and memorize by counting the corn rows in their field each day; he ended up as a big accountant.