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BIL's relationship failed...but he has kids.

  • 18-02-2013 9:54pm
    #1
    mashedbanana
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 542 ✭✭✭


    Just a quick bit of advice please?

    My BIL & his GF have broken up. They have a few kids together.
    The GF (or ex gf I should say) is taking it very hard, as BIL has moved on to a new doll. I was never very close to the ex gf, due to various things going on. Distance being an issue. Anyway, BIL is being a bit of a donkey and not having anything to do with his kids, since the new moth is on the scene.

    His brothers (including my oh) will be having words with him about this, but in the mean time, I want to make contact with her, and let her know we are here for her & the lil ones if she needs anything (money/what ever)

    But because I never REALLY knew her....should I just keep away?

    BIL's parents (my in-laws) are all about 'If your not happy love, then thats okay' I think they have totally mollycoddled him. It's almost okay in their eyes that the relationship has ended, cos 'if your not happy' etc etc.


    What would you do? and Thanks :-)


Comments

  • #2
    willow tree
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 533 ✭✭✭willow tree


    I would say definitely get in contact. Those kids are your & your oh nieces/nephews. I would try not get involved in discussing bil, she may want to talk so you could listen but try to have a boundary to protect yourself. I hope he realises he needs to be there for his kids sooner rather than later. Hope it works out. I know you said there's distance but if you're ever near you could call. Just my opinion, difficult situation, good luck.


  • #3
    P. Breathnach
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,089 ✭✭✭✭P. Breathnach


    First thoughts: don't go on a solo run. These children are not your blood relatives, but are your husband's nieces/nephews. Talk to him about you jointly offering some support, and be clear in your own minds how much support you can offer.


  • #4
    mashedbanana
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 542 ✭✭✭mashedbanana


    Thans for the replies :-)

    Oh & his brothers are appauled at their brother. Especially for his lack of respect towards the mother of his kids.
    My husband has given full concent to contact her and offer as much support as needed.
    I would love my kids to grow up knowing their 1st cousins. ALL of them.


  • #5
    willow tree
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 533 ✭✭✭willow tree


    I was going to ask if youse had kids. I'd be the same, wanting them to know all their cousins. They're lucky to have a thoughtful aunt.


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