Feeling fed up with people and can't b bothered

Hannaho

We as a fsmily had lots of verbal intimidation and emotional abuse from ex partner. Kids are 12 and 10. He pursued us through the courts for more access and then didn't want the access. The legsl fees were 20k. He bullied us so much when I moved for job, that we moved back. He has intimidated the children to prevent them talking up to social worker, psychologists and GP's about how afraid of him they are and how bad things are in his house. He bad mothers me to professionals and even friends and even tried to prevent me getting a particular job. The kids sre lovely, bright, polite and sociable kids, but I don't know how we have managed this! Through the legsl battles, one or two friends were a good support, but others turned their back, or some used it as a chance to berate me as a single mother when their own children were often quite badly behaved. I own our home outright and work full-time!

I felt that a lot of people, including some family looked down on us because of all the trouble ex caused. I feel ashamed that my children and Zi have been put in this situation and have been subjected to such abuse. I am really quite a private person and all this has new a bit public fore - some of the social worker involved with children and ex were ex colleagues of mine - I'm not a social worker
Anyway, the while thing has made me withdraw from people and to feel cynical about people. I feel there is no point in having friendships. I try really hard not to pass how I feel onto the children, but it's difficult at times.

Has anyone else ever felt like this and what did u do?

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Hannaho wrote: »

We as a fsmily had lots of verbal intimidation and emotional abuse from ex partner. Kids are 12 and 10. He pursued us through the courts for more access and then didn't want the access. The legsl fees were 20k. He bullied us so much when I moved for job, that we moved back. He has intimidated the children to prevent them talking up to social worker, psychologists and GP's about how afraid of him they are and how bad things are in his house. He bad mothers me to professionals and even friends and even tried to prevent me getting a particular job. The kids sre lovely, bright, polite and sociable kids, but I don't know how we have managed this! Through the legsl battles, one or two friends were a good support, but others turned their back, or some used it as a chance to berate me as a single mother when their own children were often quite badly behaved. I own our home outright and work full-time!

I felt that a lot of people, including some family looked down on us because of all the trouble ex caused. I feel ashamed that my children and Zi have been put in this situation and have been subjected to such abuse. I am really quite a private person and all this has new a bit public fore - some of the social worker involved with children and ex were ex colleagues of mine - I'm not a social worker
Anyway, the while thing has made me withdraw from people and to feel cynical about people. I feel there is no point in having friendships. I try really hard not to pass how I feel onto the children, but it's difficult at times.

Has anyone else ever felt like this and what did u do?

first thing to remember is that these people are only trying to get at the truth, not victimise you.

Second thing, make up a lost of true friends that you now yo can trust and confide in them. May only be three or four people, but you need them.

Thirdly, if you have happy kids, that'll be your best advert as a good parent.

Hannaho

Hi! Ikky poo, thanks for your reply. I don't feel victimised by my friends really - it's just that when I was down all this stuff about single mothers and their prejudice came out. There also wasn't any real truth for anyone to get at - many people knew about how the children felt and how unhappy they were at their dad's, they knew about the emotional abuse of me and the chidlren - it's been going on for years, but has escalated more recently. I just felt when I was down, they took an opportunity not to support me/us, put to push us down further.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Hannaho wrote: »

Hi! Ikky poo, thanks for your reply. I don't feel victimised by my friends really - it's just that when I was down all this stuff about single mothers and their prejudice came out. There also wasn't any real truth for anyone to get at - many people knew about how the children felt and how unhappy they were at their dad's, they knew about the emotional abuse of me and the chidlren - it's been going on for years, but has escalated more recently. I just felt when I was down, they took an opportunity not to support me/us, put to push us down further.

Truth always outs in these cases, but people don't like it when it turns out that there's no juicy gossip to report.

The people you talk about in the last few sentecnes dont sound like true friends - which is why I said make the list of people who are. And surround yourself with them.

Sometimes it can be easy to feel negative if all you hear is negativity, but the same is true about positivity.

Diziet

Your kids are well adjusted and happy - you are clearly a good parent. Count your blessings your ex is out of your life and ditch the ex-friends, too. Stay in touch with people who are good for you, not ones who undermine you. Some people just thrive on negativity, but this should be their problem, not yours.

You own your house, you have a job, you have happy children. Well done to you!