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constantly living apart...grrr

  • 17-02-2013 10:33pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    My boyfriend and I have been together a year and a half and have always lived in opposite ends of the country. We both go through spells of unemployment followed by short term contracts of work and never can we ever get work in the same county. He has ties in one place and all the jobs in my area of work are in another. We're dying to live together, but for either to move involves a great deal of sacrifice. If I move to him, I won't work, because there are NO jobs. If he moves to me it will mean him having to travel back every weekend without fail, which will be expensive and annoying.
    So we're in this constant, headwrecking, limbo. We're both in our mid-30's and really want to make this work. At the same time we understand that we can't live on fresh air. Neither of us want the other person to sacrifice being where they want/need to be and potentially regretting it down the line. For me, I know I should move to his town but I'll end up working in a bar or shop because there will be nothing else, and I'm not sure how - when the honeymoon period ends - I'll feel about that.
    Its so hard to make the right choices.
    HELP!!


Comments

  • #2
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    The only option is that ye live together and he travels home every weekend? Are there kids involved? Could they come to visit ye the odd weekend (if they exist)?


  • #3
    Toast4532
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,613 ✭✭✭Toast4532


    What about both of you moving to a different county where both of you can get jobs.

    If you stay as you are, you have three options, in my opinion:

    1) Your partner drives home every weekend - expensive and and inconvenience, yes, but it means living together midweek, could you put up with it for the time being?

    2) You move to your boyfriend and take any paid job you can get - if you make enough to cover the basics like rent, food, bills etc could you do it until you got a better job with better/the same pay?

    3) Stay as you are now.


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