baby too young?

Synyster Shadow

I found out yesterday that my hubbys aunte is getting married the 3rd of may (few days before my birthday- which is great time away for it) thing is the baby might only be 2 weeks old at best and well Im not sure its fair to travel 3-4 hours with newborn then be at wedding all day with newborn?

Thing is my babysitter (my dad) will be in england the same weekend for my cousins wedding so cant ask him. The other part is I'm breast feeding so dont want to leave for very long. Anyone had a similar situation?

Also my uncle is getting married in mid june but thats only 10 mins from where I live so I can leave to come home with baby at any point and I can also get babysitter and come home when needed too I wont be drinking at either with baby that young.

lazygal

There's no chance I'd leave a baby that young with a minder. At that stage they haven't any semblance of routine and need constant reassurance, feeding and naps. I also wouldn't have been in the frame of mind for a wedding two weeks in. I found baby fine but I just wouldn't have had a moments peace at a wedding with her or leaving her with someone. Its just too soon.

MistyCheese

It's completely up to you. If you think your baby would be too young and you're not comfortable travelling with such a young child then don't. Wish them well and tell them you would attend if you could but you don't think you can with a newborn.

FWIW I wouldn't be travelling to an all day event with a 2 week old either. Your baby will need be fed every three hours at that age (and if you are getting the feeds done in anything close to half an hour you'll be doing very well!).

julyjane

I was at 2 weddings last year where people had very young babies.

One baby was less than 2 weeks old and they were close friends of the B&G. They brought the baby to the wedding, he slept most of the time anyway, when he needed a feed (he was breastfed) or change his mother just brought him to their hotel room, easy enough to request a ground floor room at the time of booking. He looked like a dream baby because he slept through the meal etc. in spite of the noise so they had their dinner in peace. Obviously they had to keep their drinking to a minimum, or maybe weren't drinking at all I don't know, but they still got to go to the wedding and were probably glad not to be hungover the next day!

The other wedding the baby was a few months old and the mother brought a family member who minded the baby while she was at the wedding and she went and fed her whenever needed. The downside of this is they probably had the expense of booking an extra hotel room for the family member but a wedding is a one off, but they had travelled a very long distance to get to the wedding so I guess it was preferable to leaving the baby with a minder and being away for 2-3 days

pwurple

Even apart from the baby and the minder, you may not be in great shape yourself so soon. You'll be a few days after giving birth. You will be bleeding very heavily still, and probably still quite sore. You may not be into the swing of the bfeeding yet, so you might have leaking, or a bit of breast pain. I wouldn't put myself under that kind of additional pressure to dress up and be nice to people so soon after childbirth.

Skip this one, take some time to recover, look after yourself and the baby.

How Strange

I thought I replied to this already but I also think I'm slowly getting very stupid as this pregnancy progresses so anything is possible.

I'd be reluctant to commit to going at this stage unless you can book a room at the venue yourself. A breastfed baby may be feeding every hour to hour and a half at 2 weeks. Another poster mentioned 3 hours and honestly that would be best case scenario with a newborn.

Wait and see how you're feeling closer to the date but don't put yourself under too much pressure to attend.

If you do go I'd really recommend using a sling.

dublinlady

Synyster Shadow wrote: »

I found out yesterday that my hubbys aunte is getting married the 3rd of may (few days before my birthday- which is great time away for it) thing is the baby might only be 2 weeks old at best and well Im not sure its fair to travel 3-4 hours with newborn then be at wedding all day with newborn?

Thing is my babysitter (my dad) will be in england the same weekend for my cousins wedding so cant ask him. The other part is I'm breast feeding so dont want to leave for very long. Anyone had a similar situation?

Also my uncle is getting married in mid june but thats only 10 mins from where I live so I can leave to come home with baby at any point and I can also get babysitter and come home when needed too I wont be drinking at either with baby that young.

Hey synyster,
If was me I really wouldn't go. I couldn't have left my breast fed daughter for longer than 30 mins 2 weeks after she was born and also really didn't want to! I didn't want anyone to look after her other than me and my hubby at that stage!!! I didn't leave her with anyone else til she was 15 weeks - and that was for 3-4 hrs. They really are so small and vulnerable and need so much love and caring for at that stage. Most of them have problems digesting food at that stage and only you will have learnt the little ways to comfort them - no one else will do it like you!
I attended a wedding at 6 weeks with my baby which was ok as the breast feeding had settled a bit but I wasn't drinking at all and I was up and down to the room for various reasons throughout the day - I booked a room close to the hall! I found he baby needed quiet time at times during the day. It was very very hard work and I only did it as it was a close friend.

My brothers wedding when the baby was 5 months was fine!!

freudiangirl

pwurple wrote: »

Even apart from the baby and the minder, you may not be in great shape yourself so soon. You'll be a few days after giving birth. You will be bleeding very heavily still, and probably still quite sore. You may not be into the swing of the bfeeding yet, so you might have leaking, or a bit of breast pain. I wouldn't put myself under that kind of additional pressure to dress up and be nice to people so soon after childbirth.

Skip this one, take some time to recover, look after yourself and the baby.

I'd second this .

I would not have been able to leave #1 at 2 weeks, i was too wreckec and all over the place hormonally aside from the physical side effects like leaky boobs, bleeding, bloated.

Also leaving a newborn with a sitter, I would be quite worried. Baby is so new, and needs the parents at such small age.

Im sure your family will understand.

Moonbeam

My baby was 4 weeks old at my wedding and my 1st was also at weddings very young.
It is no bother at all they are very portable at that age and you can bring them anywhere but definately can not leave them for a day.
It is when they get bigger you need to plan these things but when they are bigger you can also leave them!

Synyster Shadow

Moonbeam wrote: »

My baby was 4 weeks old at my wedding and my 1st was also at weddings very young.
It is no bother at all they are very portable at that age and you can bring them anywhere but definately can not leave them for a day.
It is when they get bigger you need to plan these things but when they are bigger you can also leave them!

This is what I had in my head they like to sleep and eat at that age which is not a problem so I thought it wouldnt be too bad plus I'll rent a room and I can sleep myself at times throughout the day. Its a big get together and a way to have hubby's family meet the new addition other than that its hard to get them free to visit and its 3 and half hour drive for us too. Really want to be there as does my hubby and its 3 days before my birthday so it would be nice to get away for that too

Rasmus

Synyster Shadow wrote: »

This is what I had in my head they like to sleep and eat at that age which is not a problem so I thought it wouldnt be too bad plus I'll rent a room and I can sleep myself at times throughout the day. Its a big get together and a way to have hubby's family meet the new addition other than that its hard to get them free to visit and its 3 and half hour drive for us too. Really want to be there as does my hubby and its 3 days before my birthday so it would be nice to get away for that too

Wishing you all the best Shadow! Is this your first baby? If so, then I think after you give birth you will probably wonder why you even posted this question. You say baby will be 2 weeks at the most - so if you go over you will barely be out of the hospital before heading off to the wedding.

Don't worry about missing an occasion, you will have throngs of visitors coming out of the woodwork when you have your little one.

Synyster Shadow

Well I'm due April 10th so I'm banking on going in before the 20th. I know people will visit but there so far down the country and all work long weeks (one is a nurse) they wouldnt be able visit us and been down there is like been at home so I figure if its too much we can stay in his Aunte's house and just go to church and meal.

I'm gonna try my hardest and see if it can be done

dublinlady

It's really what ever your comfortable with - you only can decide - just bear in mind the baby will need peace too - it may be a bit much? But look at end of day it's only you that will know how u feel - you can always say you hope to go and then cancel at last min if you don't feel up to it or you feel it would be too much or the little one!

pwurple

Synyster Shadow wrote: »

Well I'm due April 10th so I'm banking on going in before the 20th. I know people will visit but there so far down the country and all work long weeks (one is a nurse) they wouldnt be able visit us and been down there is like been at home so I figure if its too much we can stay in his Aunte's house and just go to church and meal.

I'm gonna try my hardest and see if it can be done

Don't want to worry you, but I went into labour 14 days after due date, and baby was born on the 15th day. I had some stitches which went wrong and needed replacing, so it was another 7 days after the birth by the time I got out of the hospital. You really can't bank on anything in pregnancy or childbirth. But hey, you might be early too! You never know.

Maybe run it past your midwife too on your next visit about putting a newborn in a carseat for that length of time by the way. Pressure on the neck might be a bit much for a 4 hour spin with a baby that small. You will need to break it up with a few breaks to change their position and feed them anyway (and to sort yourself out with pads etc.).

It'll be nice to have so many helpers there though. And like you said, they will be able to see the baby. Plan as much as you can for it anyway... and maybe keep an escape clause for yourself if you can't go.

NextSteps

I would have hated to have had ANYTHING in my diary for the month after my baby was born, much less a wedding. You might be all over the place, sleepless, happier in your pyjamas, a touch of baby blues... The pressure of having to do anything (and going away for the night is a big thing) would have had me (and my partner!) up the walls.

julyjane

It's different for everyone, after both my kids I went on a night out after about 10 days (I was bottlefeeding) The first was a big night out and the second was a relatives 21st that I said I'd go to at 10pm "just to show my face for an hour" and stayed til 3am but only because the designated driver had to wait for another drinker who wouldn't hurry up. This time I just want to curl up at home for the first 4 weeks but that could change when the baby is here.

There's a lot to be said for being in a hotel and just being able to go up and down to your room when you need to. If you have your heart set on going to the wedding then book into the hotel, you could request a room near the wedding but then again it might be noisy, but plan on spending more time in the hotel room than at the wedding. Even if you get down to the wedding a few times during the day you'll be doing well. If you're breastfeeding it will be 10 times easier than all the work that goes with making bottles.

monflat

Synyster Shadow wrote: »

This is what I had in my head they like to sleep and eat at that age which is not a problem so I thought it wouldnt be too bad plus I'll rent a room and I can sleep myself at times throughout the day. Its a big get together and a way to have hubby's family meet the new addition other than that its hard to get them free to visit and its 3 and half hour drive for us too. Really want to be there as does my hubby and its 3 days before my birthday so it would be nice to get away for that too

Hi hope it works out for you but at that young an age they need all the oppertunities to latch on and feed if a baby that young is away from their mother their only source of food they will get irritable
I had great plans for my first too but soon the wind was taken from my sails as with the birth constant feeding nappy changes more feeding settling baby off to sleep ( I thought babies just fell asleep ) how wrong I was !!
It's all about the mammy and I can be exhausting

Just take into consideration that you may do full labour and then need c section and during the days after if this is your case your body feels like it has been run over by a bus
This happened to me twice
Just keep all options open at least as I never did such a hard thing in my life as were the days and months after my daughters birth as the change from free with no ties to lookin after a small colicky baby were immense
Good luck with whatever you do

Synyster Shadow

Well I went to the wedding Jack was 3 weeks old the day before wedding and he was great slept the 3 hour drive down and back slept in the church and again during dinner no crying at all. I would do it again. Have another wedding the second week in June.

As for me I was feeling great belly was gone so wore my old dress everyone thought I looked great so soon after. Labour was a breeze so fast and no stitches. Hubby is happy as only 3 weeks after birth we were back DTD (which I was surprised by, guess no epidural and no stitches helps)

paperclipgrad

There was a 10 day old at my wedding, the mother just had her in a carseat beside her, it was no problem at all! They had a room in the hotel so she just went over to feed every now and again. I don't recall hearing the baby cry at all, as far as I know she slept through the whole thing pretty much...

The loud music later though....is a different thing! Though you'll probably not want to stay up too late anyway, a wedding day is quite long and tiring for new parents.

Synyster Shadow

We were gone home by half 9 fed baby and back to sleep he went. There were a few who left the same time think it's tiring for everyone really.

I brought car seat too and he slept great in it

cant26

Synyster Shadow wrote: »

Well I went to the wedding Jack was 3 weeks old the day before wedding and he was great slept the 3 hour drive down and back slept in the church and again during dinner no crying at all. I would do it again. Have another wedding the second week in June.

As for me I was feeling great belly was gone so wore my old dress everyone thought I looked great so soon after. Labour was a breeze so fast and no stitches. Hubby is happy as only 3 weeks after birth we were back DTD (which I was surprised by, guess no epidural and no stitches helps)

Sounds like you had a lovely time. Fair play! I bet it was nice to get dolled up and feel normal again!! I am due on Sunday and the way I am going I will go late and I am a bridesmaid in Portugal at the beginning of July. Baby will be 6-8 weeks. The amount of 'you're mad' and 'you won't want to leave the house' comments I have gotten has been over whelming:eek:. Obviously I have no idea how I will feel but it will be either an amazing experience and our first family holiday! Or I will hate it but put up with it!! Hearing stories like yours gives me hope!! Regardless I have signed up for it so we're going...granny in toe too for extra help;)

Synyster Shadow

I was told the same and that I wouldn get dressed for the first month and so on. Everyone is different the day after giving birth I was dressed and ready to leave the hospital and I did and iv gotten dressed every day since. Granted I had a bath every day and put my jammies on after it. The day after gettin home from hospital I was out doin shopping with baby. It was scary leaving the house but learned it wasn't so bad by time I was there just go at your own pace. Least baby will be further along than Jack was. I reckon you'll be fine.

I was told to rest and take it easy I just wanted to start working out after 1 week. But my husbands trainer said no until 6 week mark grrr.

KCC

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