Is Facebook causing my mood swings?

LegacyUser

Hi, I suffer from terrible mood swings and it really gets me down sometimes. I'm in my early 20's and haven't exactly got a huge amount of friends, which sometimes gets me down I suppose. For example 90% of people my age, if they wanted to do something on a given day, they would have enough friends to do something - even something as trivial as going for something to eat or the cinema. But I never do them kind of things. I'd go out maybe once a weekend and spend the other 2 days of my weekend on Facebook, which could be contributing to mood swings. I see people saying all sorts of things like they're out and about going shopping, eating etc etc. Whereas I'm most likely sitting in my house bored off my t*ts on Facebook. The friends I do have are either in relationships or have other friends so that's why I generally end up with two-thirds of my weekend spent sitting at home on the computer reading about and seeing people of my age with much more fulfilling lives than me. Isn't it a bit pathetic not even being able to do them kind of things?

LegacyUser

Had a boring weekend myself and Facebook didn't help.

Plan some activity in your day so you are getting out of the house. The gym is a great way to start a weekend morning and you'll also be out and about. Follow it up with a trip to a local coffee shop.

Any interaction is good, even if it is only with fellow gym members and the people in the coffee shop.

Good that you've noticed it so early on in your 20s.... looking back at myself at that age, I regret never having a hobby. Now I have a couple of hobbies and have made good friends through them.

Best of luck.

titan18

I deactivated mine, it's not worth it for the most part

travellingbid

I often think that if Facebook had been around when I was in my late teens / early 20s I would have gone crazy thinking I was the biggest loser ever. I'd a small circle of friends and for a million reasons we didn't go out every single weekend but we didn't know how "big" others our age were living it up. At my grand old age of 32 I may not be 100% happy with where I want to be but I'm getting there. I think the people who check in and tag the whole world are a bit sad. Maybe it's just me but if I'm in good company, and enjoying myself the last thing Ill be doing in taking out my phone to status update.
Please don't worry about what others are doing or where they're at. Believe me things aren't always what they might seem!!! I was recently tagged at a venue and anyone reading my timeline would have thought wow, lucky B. it's was undoubtedly one if the most boring and torteous events if mt life!

LegacyUser

travellingbid wrote: »

it's just me but if I'm in good company, and enjoying myself the last thing Ill be doing in taking out my phone to status update.

The problem is I'm not in any sort of company while I'm having these kinda mood swings. As mentioned friends could be busy etc and I don't even have enough friends to make alternative plans. I can understand that some people just aren't meant to have tonnes of mates but from sitting on Facebook even the people I know with a small group of mates will most likely be doing something other than sitting at home on their tod

Stavro Mueller

Not being smart here but have you thought about turning your computer off and going doing something else? Even if you haven't got friends available, can you not organise some other activities for yourself? Like learn a musical instrument or take up a new hobby? Do some gardening or DIY? Sitting inside looking at the news feed and feeling sorry for yourself is doing you no good at all.

Merkin

People are entirely selective about what they portray on FB and consequently, and particularly compulsive posters, post stuff that makes it look like life is one big orgasm.You don't see status updates saying 'my genital warts have flared up again (sad face)' or 'convinced my girlfriend is shagging her workmate as I can't get it up'......do you? No exactly.Take it all with a pinch of salt and and as Cymbaline said, why don't you just log off and actually do stuff in real life?

looksee

MoodSwingCentral wrote: »

The problem is I'm not in any sort of company while I'm having these kinda mood swings. As mentioned friends could be busy etc and I don't even have enough friends to make alternative plans. I can understand that some people just aren't meant to have tonnes of mates but from sitting on Facebook even the people I know with a small group of mates will most likely be doing something other than sitting at home on their tod

You are not listening! You are not going to find people while you are sitting feeling miserable on fb. Go into the local library and read the ads for things that are happening around the place. Look in the local paper and see what groups are out there. Do something.

Fb - as everyone else is saying - is a total distortion of life and most of the posts are people just like you who are trying to make out they have a more exciting life than anyone else.

You could even take a huge gamble and put on your status - 'bored now, anyone want to go and see x at the cinema?'

You are the only person who can solve this, and it involves turning your computer off.

Roisy7

I used to feel the exact same as you OP. I fell out with some friends in college and it was very painful to see them having the craic in FB. So I basically gave up Facebook for a month. It did me the world of good.

The thing is, FB is just a means of communication, the very same as post or telephone. Would you post here saying the phone was causing you mood swings? I don't think so. It is what you make it.

As others have said FB is full of distortion. No one ever posts saying they ended up crying over their ex or stayed in watching the late late do they? Take those ex friends of mine, for example. One is one of the most negative people I know, but a glance on their Facebook page shows someone happy go lucky and fun.

There's a saying I'm too tired to remember properly but it's something along the lines if "we're unhappy because we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else's highlight reel".

Uninstall FB from your phone. I imagine its affecting your productivity and hobbies. Download a programme like cold turkey if you're serious about spending less time on it.

Seconded about the screens. Blue light (screens) is proven to disrupt sleep and affect mood. Try and switch off an hour before bed. There's also a programme called flux which adjusts your monitor to mimic natural light if you have to be online late at night. I found it fantastic.

playedalive

Seriously ditch the facebook. It's easy to say that it's a total distortion of real life, and take it with a pinch of salt. But when you are in a vulnerable place, you're not going to take it with a pinch of salt (Trust me!). I deactivated my facebook nearly 2 months ago and I haven't looked back since. Sure, it means that you lose a really practical way of getting in touch with people but it's not the be all and end all. There's always free texts.

xzanti

Deactivating it alone is no use imho... there's always the option to go back on..

If you're serious, you need to go and delete all your friends first and then deactivate it..

This is what I'm going to do....




Some day

finbarrk

Why bother with Facebook? I never did and I seem to be getting on fine.

LegacyUser

Op,

I was like yourself for a while.
While I have a few close freinds, I always felt like I was been left out on certain things on fb, like little posts like "remember that thing the other night" - 7likes and 3 comments - all from my freinds... And I had no clue what the post was about. private jokes :eyesroll:

It got me down, I was angry and always felt like I was left out or missing something. Especially when it came around to my birthday, while I have aprox 300 friends about 10 people posted on my wall to wish my a happy birthday. It seems pathecic but it did upset me, and I felt some what "unpopular" and "unwanted"

I eventually decided that facebook was no good for me, I didn't delete my acc I just deleted the app off my phone and stopped using it. I don't log on, unless I have an email in my phone that tells me someone posted on my wall or tagged me in a post (which is often)
I don't miss it all and feel happier. And actually think are people that sad they have to post their daily life all over facebook.
Rather then going on FB in my fee time at home or in work, I come on here to boards , go for a jog, go for coffee, arrange to meet with freinds, go window shopping, browse celeb updates on twitter, browse pictures on instagram. There is so much more time killers then just spending it on FB.

Just keep thinking how it makes you feel everytime you think you want to log on.. Is it really worth feeling miserable and angry just to see a few updates and pictures on how "great" someones life is.

Stavro Mueller

It's not as black and white as that. It's not Facebook as such which is the problem. It's that the OP is finding himself/herself sitting at a computer at the weekend bored out of his tree and feeling miserable because his friends seem to be having a better time of it. Facebook is merely acting as a magnifying glass to issues that would probably arise anyway. It's making it easier for the OP to see with his own two eyes what is going on. Even if he deleted Facebook in the morning, it wouldn't solve the real issue.

Accepting that he's probably never going to have loads of friends and hang around in big groups is a good start. There's nothing wrong with "only" having a small group of friends. If most people are honest, they only have a handful of genuine friends anyway so from that point of view the OP isn't as badly off as he thinks. There is nothing wrong with it. And as people have pointed out already, Facebook should be taken with a grain of salt. Nobody's going to say they spent Saturday night sitting on the sofa watching Brendan O'Connor's chat show and eating bowls of cornflakes, are they? But should they have been out at anything at all, you'll hear all about it.

The bigger issue is that he's finding himself with all this time on his hands at the weekends and it's driving him a bit loopy. The only logical answer to that is to fill the time with something other than staring at a computer screen or a phone. Sitting for hours on end at a computer doing nothing in particular would drive anyone bonkers after a while anyway. So be happy with what you are and be proactive in finding other things to do that will fill your time.

seachto7

Get rid of most of your Facebook "friends" and only keep the ones who are actually FRIENDS in real life.

CommanderC

travellingbid wrote: »

I often think that if Facebook had been around when I was in my late teens / early 20s I would have gone crazy thinking I was the biggest loser ever. I'd a small circle of friends and for a million reasons we didn't go out every single weekend but we didn't know how "big" others our age were living it up. At my grand old age of 32 I may not be 100% happy with where I want to be but I'm getting there. I think the people who check in and tag the whole world are a bit sad. Maybe it's just me but if I'm in good company, and enjoying myself the last thing Ill be doing in taking out my phone to status update.
Please don't worry about what others are doing or where they're at. Believe me things aren't always what they might seem!!! I was recently tagged at a venue and anyone reading my timeline would have thought wow, lucky B. it's was undoubtedly one if the most boring and torteous events if mt life!

That's what I always think !!

LegacyUser

cymbaline wrote: »

The bigger issue is that he's finding himself with all this time on his hands at the weekends and it's driving him a bit loopy. The only logical answer to that is to fill the time with something other than staring at a computer screen or a phone. Sitting for hours on end at a computer doing nothing in particular would drive anyone bonkers after a while anyway. So be happy with what you are and be proactive in finding other things to do that will fill your time.

This is right, the problem is i'm just not exactly sure what to do that would be in any way more entertaining than sitting on the computer. Either way I'd be alone and not interacting with people in whatever I decide to do. I guess it's just basic things like going to the cinema etc that I'm missing out on. Even in terms of the dating scene, I've lost interest in the opposite sex in the past while. I'm not sure if the whole unmotivated thing is a sign of depression or not. My mood fluctuates based on the amount of activity I do in a week. If I have a busy week keeping occupied and staying away from FB (which rarely happens) I'll most likely be in a great mood. I just feel that the average person has way more stuff to do than me.

looksee

MoodSwingCentral wrote: »

This is right, the problem is i'm just not exactly sure what to do that would be in any way more entertaining than sitting on the computer. Either way I'd be alone and not interacting with people in whatever I decide to do. I guess it's just basic things like going to the cinema etc that I'm missing out on. Even in terms of the dating scene, I've lost interest in the opposite sex in the past while. I'm not sure if the whole unmotivated thing is a sign of depression or not. My mood fluctuates based on the amount of activity I do in a week. If I have a busy week keeping occupied and staying away from FB (which rarely happens) I'll most likely be in a great mood. I just feel that the average person has way more stuff to do than me.

You are asking all your own questions here. And the final point - if someone has way more stuff to do than you it is not chance or luck or anything mysterious. They have gone out and created things to do. Join things, take on responsibility for things, volunteer for things. I can't tell you what exactly as I do not know your strengths or interests, but you have to be out there making things happen.

Its a bit like the story of the person who said to a successful businessman, you are very lucky to have such a rewarding lifestyle, and be so wealthy, and the business man replied, that's true, and do you know, the harder I work, the luckier I get!

Lone Stone

I was actually feeling simaler to the op a while ago, It would really get me down but then i thought fep this thing i never even really talk to anyone on it apart from a and full of people so i deleted my facebook page, and i feel much better about myself since which is actually really odd.

Perhaps close your account for a while, Facebook is known for having negative effect's on people.

ParkRunner

Maybe you could get yourself a camera & go out to a sports event or into nature and try to get some good photos. You can post up a few of these then on fb if you like and you are also bound to meet a few people while you are out and about.
I have had to block a good portion of the people on my fb page as some of them post ridiculously pointless stuff. I do appreciate seeing a good photo though and enjoy getting out and about to different places and events with the camera in hand.

sashafierce

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