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Cant deal with break up

  • 17-02-2013 2:05am
    #1
    kennyjap
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2 ✭


    Hi my girlfriend broke up with me nearly 2 months ago now and my life has just gone to tatters. I have a lot of family problems, seperated parents, depressed mother who has been in and out of psychiatric care for the past 3 years and just a lot of other problems. I was with my ex for about a year and half and she was the only person I had to talk about it with. I'm really missing her and want to to tell her and maybe try get back with her but I think it's more to do with the lonliness that I'm dealing with. We havent spoke for over a month now and I'm only now really starting to feel the break up properly. It was completely my fault that it ended as I was unfaithful when I went away for the summer but I won her back when I got home and everything seemed to be fine until christmas. I got really down over christmas and she said that this was the trigger for her to leave me. It was a complete mistake during the summer and I've never felt such remorse over anything else that I've done in my life. Now I have nobody to talk about anything really and none of my friends will listen to me when i take about her as well it was my own doing. I'm also in my final year of college and the past four days I've pretty much spent in bed feeling sorry for myself and I just don't know how to get my feet back on the ground. My phone is beside me and I want to text her so badly as I have never loved someone this before but she deserves better than me, but I just can't let go. Any advice as to what to do would be great, I do go to counselling but it's just not enough. Thanks


Comments

  • #2
    smash
    Closed Accounts Posts: 34,809 ✭✭✭✭smash


    I know they say a problem shared is a problem halved but maybe enough was enough for her. It's good to help people get through hard times, but when it's constant it takes it's toll on people.


  • #3
    kennyjap
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2 ✭kennyjap


    Yeah I get where your coming from, I actually use to say that to her. It wasnt all one way traffic though as her mam had when we were friends before we went out and I was always there for her I guess it was just too much for her


  • #4
    blatantrereg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,743 ✭✭✭blatantrereg


    It won't help telling yourself she deserves better than you. That doesn't make sense: Your actions led to your situation I think, but they don't define who you are.

    Most people experience something like this once. Some people learn enough from it to avoid it a second time: Don't cheat on anyone again. Consider if you were self-indulgent or using her as a crutch. If you conclude you were, then rectify that behaviour too. You're displaying enough self-awareness here that I think you can avoid the same thing happening again if you think about what led to it.

    Maybe some people would disagree and warn you against overthinking things. Personally I think it can be very beneficial, as long as you can look at things in an objective way, and don't find yourself thinking in circles.

    Don't contact her. It won't help.


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