Picking the place clean !

andym1

My mother died recently and my 3 sisters have picked the place clean. I dont have a key to my mams old place and she left it to the 4 of us equeally, but every time I do go up there its more empty. I really dont care but its their attitude that bothers me. Each has said Oh Mam said I could have that etc, They can have all the contents but it just pisses me off.
They are only short of stripping the lead from the roof !
I feel like killing them for their ''Piss off attitude''

Mocha Joe

I'll give ye €20 for the fridge/freezer.

shedweller

Sorry for your loss. You need to hook up a trailer and back it up to the front door. Proceed to clean the place out. Overdo it. Thats whats needed to highlight your siblings greedy attitude. You'll see the awkward look in their faces as you proceed to gut the house! And use their soundbites while you're at it. Then and only then will they know you know what they are doing is out and out selfishness and disrespect.

3ndahalfof6

If you do kill them in such a way as it can not be pinned on you, you wil get everything, bills and all, sorry for your loss to, how close were you to your mum?

Lenin Skynard

Sorry to hear about your mam. You should let them them at it, rise above. It's not worth fighting over.

You should get yourself a key though, you own the place as much as anyone else.

Archeron

When my uncle died, I had to go to his house to pick out clothes for him for the funeral. While there, I picked up a small worthless sentimental item for my mum and brought it home for her as a keepsake.
Other relatives, being wonderful, moved into his house and treated it like a holiday home. They sold everything he owned and pocketed the money to cover their expenses while they were looking after the house.
Many years later, my mum chersihed the little simple item i brought her, and they who tried to profit from a sad time found no joy from what they did.

Fond Memories mean much more than material things and in years to come, those who did the right thing will know the better peace.

ITS_A_BADGER

Sorry to hear that OP, dont bother rising to their greediness. Do think of what your mother would have wanted you to do and the way she wants you to live your life.

lachin

People are unbelievable!!! They sound like right witches( sorry! ).

As other posters said I'd rise above it too and let them off unless there was something you specifically wanted in memory!

Fox_In_Socks

Before I die, I'm going to booby trap the house.

See how my vulture-like children like that.

Merch

Archeron wrote: »

When my uncle died, I had to go to his house to pick out clothes for him for the funeral. While there, I picked up a small worthless sentimental item for my mum and brought it home for her as a keepsake.
Other relatives, being wonderful, moved into his house and treated it like a holiday home. They sold everything he owned and pocketed the money to cover their expenses while they were looking after the house.
Many years later, my mum chersihed the little simple item i brought her, and they who tried to profit from a sad time found no joy from what they did.

Fond Memories mean much more than material things and in years to come, those who did the right thing will know the better peace.

I obviously dont know the circumtances of that situation, but
To be completely honest, it sounds like you just admitted to stealing something off a dead person, something you weren't left or had any right to take!
While it may have seemed worthless and sentimental to you, maybe it was worthless and sentimental to someone else?
Or worth something?
If he was your Uncle, surely these others were his more immediate family?
So, If these other people moved in, it's easy to assume they had a right or entitlement? and were willed the property and its contents and thus had every right to sell it??
If not why didnt you or your mother contest this?
If they weren't close then the Uncle should have sorted this out in his will.

mfceiling

Sorry for your troubles OP.

Memories and photographs will last longer than anything else that your sisters take.

IM0

people are cunts, especially sisters

woodoo

Mocha Joe wrote: »

I'll give ye €20 for the fridge/freezer.

I don't think you'd be so smart if your mother died.

9959

andym1 wrote: »

My mother died recently and my 3 sisters have picked the place clean. I dont have a key to my mams old place and she left it to the 4 of us equeally, but every time I do go up there its more empty. I really dont care but its their attitude that bothers me. Each has said Oh Mam said I could have that etc, They can have all the contents but it just pisses me off.
They are only short of stripping the lead from the roof !
I feel like killing them for their ''Piss off attitude''

Sorry for your loss, but is this the right place to be discussing such a deeply personal issue, you might regret it later, and to be totally fair, your sisters aren't here to defend themselves.

The best of luck to you in the future.

Senna

Merch wrote: »

If he was your Uncle, surely these others were his more immediate family?

maybe like, oh i don't know, maybe his SISTER?:rolleyes:

Some people just see €€€ signs when a family member dies, but only sick sick people.

Crea

My Aunt did the same thing after my Gran died. My father was left the house and all contents but between the death and the burial she got into the house and took an 8-seater mahogany dining table and the chair and also some ornaments which i'm sure she thought were worth a few bob cause i've never seen them in her house.
Mind you my own sister has taken all the old family photos from that house and i'm not sure why.
OP - i'm very sorry for your loss and what your sisters have done is wrong.

meoklmrk91

I've seen it happen so many times, brothers and sisters seem to get so bitter after a parent has died. One of my aunts cleaned out my grandmothers house the day after her funeral and burned all her sisters letters that she had sent to her mother that had been kept by my grandmother and then told her just to be spiteful.

I saw a mans wife to into his mothers house and take things that were not her place to take at all including the mothers engagement and wedding rings for her son when he finds a girl he wants to marry. Would it not have been nicer to give to one of the granddaughters instead considering they knew the woman and her husband and they would have so much meaning to them. She did this without discussing it with any of her husbands siblings either.

I have loads more examples, I don't know what happens to people but I think it has a lot to do with €€€€€.

Merch

Senna wrote: »

maybe like, oh i don't know, maybe his SISTER?:rolleyes:

Some people just see €€€ signs when a family member dies, but only sick sick people.

maybe like, oh i don't know, maybe his CHILDREN?:rolleyes:

As I cant see how someone could do this (sell stuff as per that post) legally unless a will was made and they were allowed or otherwise it would go to probate, unless it was immediate family (even then I think it would go to probate if there was no will), in which case the poster and their mother should have followed it up on the spot if they were more distant.
I still think that poster would have no right to just pick something up in the home of a dead person on anyones behalf (regardless of it being their Uncle. If someone did that to anyone I knew, Id consider it theft and a pretty low form too.
In fact, is there any difference (other than the value of what that poster did and their relatives did?)

I agree some people get the fever for money when someone dies, been at one funeral in particular where relatives of other family members that were present for some reason and didnt know the deceased well were bawling, even though i knew they didnt have contact with the deceased. looked very much to me like fake tears and they were putting on a show.

GoldenLight

I'm really sorry for your lose OP, I'm going through trying to sort out my Mom's estate at the moment with my sister, (I have another Brother and Sister, who live in Aussie land so they are limited to what the can do). The estate was left to us all equally.

I have seen the horrible things that you are talking about happen with other members of my extended family and before my Mom died I made sure it was made clear to everyone, that it wouldn't happen this time around. This was said to my siblings and my mothers siblings in a stern but polite way.

I would suggest you say to your sisters, sternly but politely that you would like a some small memories of your Mom, and that they can take the rest of the stuff and let them at it (something as simple as a blanket over, she had covering her knees during a chill, is now treasured by her grandchildren. I got an allumium ring, that she kept loosing (but that is what I remember her by)

I made sure my sisters and brother got one each of her other rings, including her wedding ring (brother) enternity and engagement rings (sisters) each of those rings mean something to all of them.

I then let the siblings choose things from the house including inlaws, the the grandchildren, and then the greatgrandchildren. Everyone got a few things that will always remind them of my Mom.

At the months mind, I put the things away that I couldn't bear to see leave the family home, or it's immediate family, and ask her brothers and sisters, niece and nephews to choose from the rest of the stuff, everyone seemed to go away happy, and there was plenty of stuff to go around for everyone.

I know I already said it most feel so horrible that your Mom's life seems to be pick clean by your sisters, Please mention to them that you would like to choice your own small things to remember her by. It will help you no end in the grieve you most be going through.

On a side not, I got the impression that the estate was divided equally among the 4 of you, and if you feel this is worth threaten and your Mom had some stuff of value (and you want to fight for it), they are actually breaking her will, as her estate means everything she owns including debts. Split equally as with my Mom. (it depends on how you feel, grieve does funny things, I would suggest just making sure you and people you know who cared about your Mom, get something, it can get messy, very messy do the other thing)

And another side note, as in photos, don't let anyone take them, they are easily scanned to the same level that they where taken at, and they are your Moms Memories, they should be left together as a collect. Everyone else can have wonderful copies of that collection, as I hope to organise the rest of the family members to share copies of their wonderful collection.

Again I'm so Sorry for your lose, and how messy it has got.

Truncheon Rouge

I can't understand how people could go into materialistic mode at a time like that.

I saw relatives going down that road at the time of my grandmothers passing, there were disputes over the will, teams formed, and people were giving each other the cold shoulder, some still don't talk to each other.

They fking grew up together ffs.

Unless I was really on the scrap heap I'd be in no hurry whatsoever.
To watch siblings scrambling for their pieces of silver would leave me severely disappointed.

Anyone who started reefing stuff out or arguing over the values of petty items like some tax accountant would just be told to take it and don't call me again.

arybvtcw0eolkf

OP I'm really sorry for your loss.

I'd a great aunt die a few years ago, I was close to her and agreed to look after her funeral arrangements and other smaller matters.

An aunt asked me for the keys to my aunts house to pick up some things of small sentimental value, and being the trusting idiot I am I gave her the keys.

During the church service she had her sons come to the house with a van and they literally cleaned her out of it.. Even went to the bother of dumping all her draws and presses into the middle of the floor and leaving the place like buglars had ranksacked it.

But listen, karma is a bitch and your sisters will be repaid in kind ~ f*ck them OP.

Once again I'm sincerely sorry for your loss.

Mocha Joe wrote: »

I'll give ye €20 for the fridge/freezer.

I can't say I'd be sorry for yours.

GoldenLight

Truncheon Rouge wrote: »

I can't understand how people could go into materialistic mode at a time like that.

I saw relatives going down that road at the time of my grandmothers passing, there were disputes over the will, teams formed, and people were giving each other the cold shoulder, some still don't talk to each other.

They fking grew up together ffs.

Unless I was really on the scrap heap I'd be in no hurry whatsoever.
To watch siblings scrambling for their pieces of silver would leave me severely disappointed.

Anyone who started reefing stuff out or arguing over the values of petty items like some tax accountant would just be told to take it and don't call me again.

Grieve does really strange things to people, I'm the most harmless person in the world, yet 3 days after my Moms death I was ready to trottle certain people that didn't agree with me, luckily I voice the oppinion and other people could see my hurt and explain why I was feeling that way to me, in a way I understood, that these people weren't dissing my Mom they where grieving in a way I didn't understand.

It's not just the greed (we all think we see) there can be so much anger and jealousy too, and blame as well and gulit, it a huge bombarrment of emotions to a member of a society that trys to keep this stuff in check

Jasiah Rancid Acorn

Jasiah Rancid Acorn wrote: »

During the church service she had her sons come to the house with a van and they literally cleaned her out of it.. Even went to the bother of dumping all her draws and presses into the middle of the floor and leaving the place like buglars had ranksacked it.

That's really horrible. Vultures.:mad:

GoldenLight

Merch wrote: »

I obviously dont know the circumtances of that situation, but
To be completely honest, it sounds like you just admitted to stealing something off a dead person, something you weren't left or had any right to take!
While it may have seemed worthless and sentimental to you, maybe it was worthless and sentimental to someone else?
Or worth something?
If he was your Uncle, surely these others were his more immediate family?
So, If these other people moved in, it's easy to assume they had a right or entitlement? and were willed the property and its contents and thus had every right to sell it??
If not why didnt you or your mother contest this?
If they weren't close then the Uncle should have sorted this out in his will.

Most people don't sort things out in their will, (generally out of fear of dieing) it appears to me that the will was divided equally amoung the uncles sisters, (which the OP was a son of and he took a small thing for her, which is prefectly within the rights of the will, his mother had a right to something.

An really easy example is I die and (having a vague will) leave 3 bars of gold a gold pedant (that's all I have) to my 4 siblings. It should be by law sold and divide equally between the 4. It dosen't mean that my estate is the first come first served, it means I want my estate divided equally in four parts equally.

It certain dosen't mean that who ever finds the bars of gold first (keep them) and the last sibling searching gets the pendant. My Estate is the things I had owned, which includes everything I have owned before I died, including my debts.

So I would suggest you re think who was breaking the law in your scenerio

CollardGreens

Op I'm very sorry for your loss and what you are going through with your sisters. I will say a prayer for you that you may find some peace.

My brother died in 09' and it was quite different, nobody wanted much of anything. He was poor as a church mouse and his girls didn't want his things. I've got 2 fish and a borer's head he had taken to the taxidermist, I love having them on my wall because they must have meant a lot to him to have them stuffed.

The best thing you can take away are wonderful memories, and nobody can take those from you.

((hug))

kowloon

Certain relatives of mine are in the process of pillaging my Grandfather's place. He's not dead, but doesn't live in the house anymore. The best I can wish the vultures is a quick death. Don't get involved OP, I never have and my conscience is clean.

Wibbs

Jasiah Rancid Acorn wrote: »

During the church service she had her sons come to the house with a van and they literally cleaned her out of it.. Even went to the bother of dumping all her draws and presses into the middle of the floor and leaving the place like buglars had ranksacked it.

Yep I've heard of similar quite often. One section of my extended family have been right bastards in the past. When there's more money at stake the viciousness just gets more polite, but no less vicious.

But listen, karma is a bitch and your sisters will be repaid in kind ~ f*ck them OP.

I dunno. Used to kinda buy into that, not out of any magical thinking, more if you're a prick, over time you'll be recognised as one and more and more shunned. Nowadays? Not so much. I've known too many good genuine people end up fooked and real evil pricks and prickesses end up smiling.

Once again I'm sincerely sorry for your loss.

Ditto and don't let the bitterness get to you. That's most certainly not worth it and if there are any real assets involved get a solicitor.

juan.kerr

Very disappointing behaviour.

Cantona's Collars

The thought of getting a handy few Euro's turns people into vultures,it's a scummy thing they did & I hope karma deals them a hand.

Something similar almost happened to a friend of mine when his grandmother died.He was given a key to look after the place so he moved in for a while to keep an eye on the it,he never removed anything as he felt it wouldn't be right.One day he arrived at the house early & found one of his relatives almost ransacking the place.Needless to say the relative was shown the door sharpish & the key taken away from him.

I know of another story where a will was mysteriously changed shortly before the person died.House was always meant to go to somebody else but lo & behold another person entirely got the property.

People can be cnuts when it comes to land or property,especially in Ireland for some reason.

There's nothing else to say, really, bar I'm sorry for your loss, OP.

Merch

GoldenLight wrote: »

Most people don't sort things out in their will, (generally out of fear of dieing) it appears to me that the will was divided equally amoung the uncles sisters, (which the OP was a son of and he took a small thing for her, which is prefectly within the rights of the will, his mother had a right to something.

An really easy example is I die and (having a vague will) leave 3 bars of gold a gold pedant (that's all I have) to my 4 siblings. It should be by law sold and divide equally between the 4. It dosen't mean that my estate is the first come first served, it means I want my estate divided equally in four parts equally.

It certain dosen't mean that who ever finds the bars of gold first (keep them) and the last sibling searching gets the pendant. My Estate is the things I had owned, which includes everything I have owned before I died, including my debts.

So I would suggest you re think who was breaking the law in your scenerio

You are answering what the OP wrote! as if I questioned that.

My reply was to post 6 "Archeron".

Either way, if there is a will, NO one has a right to take anything from a dead person because they feel they are entitled to it or no matter how closely related they are or whether they think it is of sentimental value to them. The deceased person may have not wanted them to have it or anything at all! or they may have wanted someone very specific to receive that sentimental item.

If there is no will, then it goes to probate.

If anyone really considers what the outcome of not writing a proper will is, they would write one, because it can create family problems and have someone else make a decision on who gets what, and that may be contrary to what everyone knows the deceased would want.

In response to your really vague will, if its not correct and is vague, well thats the start of the problem. Plus you seem to think its not ok for a first come first clean the place out, I agree, yet you feel its ok for another person to take small sentimental items?? thats a bloody contradiction.

I suggest you go over to legal discussion forum and bring up your views/opinions on wills, I think you might be suprised, its definitley an area which most people are not familiar. I need to brush up on it myself.

Theft is breaking the law, a person took an item, just because they consider it sentimental, doesnt make it NOT so. The fact it's off a dead person just makes it worse.