Breakup advice please

LegacyUser

Looking for some advice my girlfriend and I were together for 3 years
Relationship has been tough emotionally at time and wasn't a bed of roses .
Basically it's come to a halt . She's left me now . I know this girl loves me with all her heart
(Not been big headed or arrogant just sayin')
Does anyone think space can work . Let the girl have her time and maybe
She will come back .
I'm sorry I'm a old romantic and maybe that's a fault that I can't give up when I still believe
In our love .
I'm respecting her issues now and not texting ,mailing or facebooking just getting on with life.
I fear that by not around she just forgets me and moves on ..
I know know if she's gonna meet someone else there is nothing I can do .
Has anyone on here gone through this and time apart has given them another chance?
I know I'm been silly and just need to move on fully .
Maybe it's the dreaded day that's In it. Dam valentines day.
What's your take on space in breakups ? And I know asking how much space is like asking how long is a piece of string .
Are we looking weeks ,months apart its just hard from everyday seeing each other to nothing
Thanks you guys som much happy valentines day

mariagoretti

Hi Brokenhearts,
I'm sorry your breakup is so hard for you. Maybe it will be good for both of you to take some time apart and heal from whatever caused the split. Relationships with emotional issues can become toxic and not benefit either party.

I like the respectful way you are not contacting her via facebook etc. Maybe you can use this time to focus on you, what your needs are at the moment, and whether there are any changes you would like to make. It may help to check in with a good friend or family member to listen to you and support you at this time.
Take care.

Ah_Yeah

I understand your fears, but honestly, the only way to make any development is to cut all contact.

If she wants to be with you she will not forget you, simple as. You don't just forget someone you love and want to be in a relationship with. Being apart and no contact will help both of you put things in perspective and get the distance you need to really think about what you want. Whether that's getting back together, or staying apart, no one knows. But what I do know is the longer you keep in touch, the longer and more drawn out the process of healing will be, whatever the outcome is.

Good luck and take care of yourself OP.

SunnyDub1

Every relationship has it's problems but generally when a lot of the time in the relationship isn't "a bed of roses" it never turns out well. IMO it's not all about love, happiness and safety in a relationship is just as important.

I know how you feel, and it's not easy especially when you love the person but sometimes moving on and looking after yourself is the best thing to do rather then wonder when and if they will come back or contact you again, cause chances are if they have finished it - they won't!

Best thing for you to do op is except that it is over. Start looking after yourself and move on. It's hard but it gets easy, just keep yourself busy and never spend to much time thinking should of, would of, could of or what if.

Best of luck

kat.mac

Hi OP,

You are behaving perfectly and so respectfully and I really have a lot of time for the way you are dealing with everything, really fair play to you. But it sounds like she hasn't given any indication that she might come back, so maybe you just need to drop that hope you're clinging to and let that sink in for a while.

Brokenhearts wrote: »

I'm respecting her issues now and not texting ,mailing or facebooking just getting on with life.
I fear that by not around she just forgets me and moves on ..

It's not possible to just forget about someone, especially not someone you were going out with for so long. If she moves on, its because she wants to move on, not because you didn't make enough of an effort to remind her of your existence.

I hope I don't come across as harsh or unsympathetic here, trust me I can relate to being lost after a breakup. I've just learned the hard way that sometimes you have to accept when things are over, and it sounds like that's the case here. Hope this helps OP, best of luck!

dannyc31

hi OP. Sorry to hear what you're going thru. my opinion, if you're giving each other space after 3 years together its not usually a good sign, its in fact more likely the beginning of the end. more likely from her side as you seem to be the one who is still holding out hope on getting her back but it might not neccessarily mean she has to go out and meet someone else for it to be over, she may just have moved on emotionally and just doesnt feel in love with you anymore.

its not easy for parties to cut ties completely after so long together even thou they know thats what they should do which is why many people often call a break or ask for space. unfortunately unlike in friends or the movies this doesnt usually mean things are rekindled and you end up married.

you are doing the right thing thou giving her space and if she wants to get back with you she will make contact. just be prepared for anything as it might be over. very hard to tell for sure as we dont know the details about the last 3 years of your relationship.