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LegacyUser

going unreg for this..hopefully it will be approved as i have tried to do this before
Apologies if this seems all over the place

I have been considering posting on here for some time but have never brought myself to actually do it. Don't really know what im expecting from this thread but
Just feel like it will surely do some good to tell somebody. it not that i have a major problems i just feel lonely at times. My life is not sort of problems but nothing major and in the end I'm working through them.
I have a brilliant family. Always are there for me over the last few year some which have been hard...I a pretty quiet guy and i honestly think im a good person. I have alot of people i know through sport and college etc...but i have never really had any extremely close friends. In college i was friend with a group but we kinda drifted apart after going into different streams.
I'm just at a place now where i don't no what to do anymore. I see everybody else making piles of friends in college and i still seem to have only a handful. Its not as if i want to be centre of attention at the party or that type of thing
that certainly isnt in my nature, maybe part of the problems is im so shy, or an uninteresting person(what it feels like).
Sometimes i feel its hard to hold a conversation with people, sometimes i may revert back to talk of college work or something in an attempt to keep the convo goin( which nobody wants to hear)
This is leading to me not really enjoying my life like other people, my social life isnt great as i haven't really anyone to go out with because everyone seems to be doing there own thing.

looksee

A great deal of life is an illusion. There is the impression that everyone else's life is better than one's own, everyone else has friends, everyone else manages their problems better. It is simply not true. Everyone has cycles of problems in their lives; at the moment you are doing fine, except the whole social thing has become an issue for you.

Its up to you to find solutions. You don't have to be the life and soul of the party, just be happy with who you are. This could take a long time, but you can work on it. If it makes you anxious that you have no topics of conversation, don't force yourself to talk, get other people to talk and be a good listener. Try and pick up on clues and use them to ask questions - not a quiz or nosiness, but get them talking about music they like, sports, holidays.

Try and spread yourself a bit, if you like music, think it through, what do you like, why, get a bit of knowledge about it so you can contribute to the conversation. Or get involved in a sport or activity that will broaden your interests - you don't have to bang on about it all the time, but it is something to throw into the discussion.

Most of all, don't worry about it, stop telling yourself how shy and quiet you are and look around for other people who might appreciate a bit of chat. You might well find people who would enjoy your company as being more restful than the loud and noisy type!

doubter

hiya,

keep in mind a lot of people live in their own little universe. I have very rarely encountered someone who can really listen to another person, unless they are a psychiatrist.It's usually nothing to do with you, but it's the other person. I'm guilty of the same I'm afraid, I just don't have the time or patience for a lot of other people.And I can tell you, a handful of friends is usually more than enough.The rest are just acquaintances...

RossFixxxed

I love listening to new people and telling them my old stories that everyone is sick of You don't need to be the centre of attention just talk to one person. Even just ask if the know anyone at the event, if they don't you've something in common. If they do then say you don't know many people there... now you know one person.

I'm not saying it is dead easy but it does take effort on your part. Go to a soc you are interested in, whatever it is sci-fi, acting, music, debate, animal rights etc and just get chatting to people. Most people are fairly open in college to chatting to random people.

I've never had a issue with this tbh, so it's easy to be glib. I just blather at anyone who will listen and love hearing what they are into, what makes them tick. So far hasn't been an issue anywhere I've gone. Open experssion, smile, friendly easy going chat...

What makes you passionate? What do you really enjoy? What enthuses you and you'd love to waffle about all day? Talk a bit about that, in a restrained way. Mention Everest to me and I'll go off on one for about 20 hours!! What's your Everest?