Skype & Long Distance Relationships

LegacyUser

I'm not long into the long distance part of my relationship with my girlfriend and am just looking for anyone's experience and/or advice on how to keep things going, especially regarding Skype.

We have had an issue recently where she thinks I don't care about talking to or seeing her, because I'm not there on Skype all the time. The fact is I'm working 9-5 then try to go to the gym, play football, do something to make the weeks go quicker. She's an hour ahead and by the time I get in, have some food etc, she is getting ready for bed. This is the pattern most days during the week but not all. She wants me to get home earlier some days so we can Skype for longer, which I guess we'll do.

The thing is that I find the more often we Skype, the more the conversations become run of the mill, "what did you today, nothing much" etc. I find this is especially bad at night, when we are both tired. (I don't have a smart phone, so can't do much during the day, except text, which we do).

We have some visits to each other coming up and we're both madly excited about them and I'm sure things are going to be as amazing when we see each other.

I guess I'm just looking for some advice on how to keep the skype thing fun. Too often it just becomes us staring at the screen telling each other how much we miss each other, which I don't think does either of our moods any good.

Cheers

ibarelycare

No couple has constant conversation with each other. I can see the difficulty you have being in a LDR. A lot of couples speak to each other most days, but the difference is that couples who aren't in LDRs get to hang out together, watch TV, go to the cinema, go for dinner...all those kinds of things where comfortable silences are acceptable (or necessary if you're in the cinema!) It's a lot of pressure sitting looking at each other on a screen and trying to think of things to say. I see my boyfriend a good bit, but we don't talk constantly! Often when we're hanging out, we're doing different things. He might be playing a game, while I'm reading; I might be cooking while he's watching TV, etc. I'd be driven demented if I'd to think of things to say to him all the time!!

I have never been in a LDR so others might be more qualified to help you, but I do have two suggestions:

1. Cut down on the Skyping. Do you have to talk every night? Why don't you do it 3 nights a week instead. A few texts during the day are grand to show you're thinking of the other person but if you reduce the Skype chats then you'll have more to talk about when you do have them, and you'll look forward to them more.
2. Have Skype "dates". Take time out maybe once or twice a week, you both download a movie or an episode of a TV show and watch it at the same time while being on Skype. It's the next best thing to being able to sit on the couch and watch something together. And you're still in full communication with each other, you can hear each other laugh or comment on what you're watching.

LegacyUser

Hey man, I know exactly the situation you are in, because I am in it too. My OH is away for a year for college, and it has been rough being away from her. I have managed to get a weekend over there with her, and she has come back for christmas, but I have to say it really is a rough situation.

Like you I have been skyping her every day, and it really is exactly how you describe, conversation can just turn into the usual i miss you and such. but trust me when I say this,
even having nothing to say except I miss you, is better than saying nothing, and not talking or seeing each other on skype at all.

keep skyping each day, keep texting, find stuff to talk about. The only way your going to make skype fun is to keep being on it. and just keep in mind, what happens between the two of you on skype or through text is only between you, so dont be afraid to say certain things.

iusedtoknow

When I was in a LDR we had set times to skype, it was usually three times (two times around 30 or 45 mins) a week- with one of them being a "date" with a movie or something like that.

In between times, email was the main way we communicated, and if we were both working on papers etc at the same time then we would chat using IM, but wouldn't get offended if the other had to go off.

We both knew we had other things going on some evenings, whether it was a sport or just hanging out with friends. What does make a bit of difference is that my GF was from Spain, so had a whole network of friends there so she had other stuff going on as well as a hectic course (medicine)

I would talk to her about it and also make a couple of compromises yourself, maybe one or two evenings a week talking to herself, and at the weekend as well.