someone i know at counselling

LegacyUser

i have recently joined a counselling group. however on the first day i met someone i knew she is very timid and shy and i think she is at counselling because she took it bad when she split up from my brother. i have met since and she says its a bit awkward and and asked me if i am going back. should i saty away from the group so she can keep going?

Queen-Mise

Ask her - give her the choice.

It really isn't a problem as there will be lots more counselling groups around the place. Reiterate to her that you don't mind either way and that you will be completely circumspect in leaving what happens in the room in the room.

shantolog

I would suggest honesty is the best policy in a case like this.

For whatever reason you are going to group counselling, and for your own sake, if it is helping you, you should continue going.

But make it clear to the other person that you don't judge her or will tell people she visits the therapy, as you do.
She may just be slightly embarrassed she sees you there, and would be worried about gossip ect.

username123

This is difficult. I did group therapy before and deliberately chose a group miles from where I live so I wouldnt know anyone, when talking about issues of a sensitive emotional nature it can be easier if you dont know anyone or are not worried about what someone might say or think.

If there is an option to go to a different group then consider going to a different group maybe? Alternatively talk to the girl and ask her if she minds you being there? Its a bit presumptuous to assume that she is there due to her break up with your brother, people have a myriad of reasons to be at counselling and Id strongly advise you to keep such thoughts to yourself, it could be embarrassing for this girl that you would think something like this.

Merkin

I don't think either of you can truly benefit from anonymous group therapy when you've been so closely linked to someone outside of the group. Who was there first? If it was her I'd be looking to find myself another session somewhere else. If she is genuinely there because she is scarred from a breakup with your brother, then I can't imagine she'll be able to open up with you sitting across from her! If you were there first and she joined, then you should be able to ask her if she'd be willing to find another group.

miec

Hi Op

I was in group therapy a few years back and the way it worked is that when I joined if I or the others knew me I had to leave, it was to keep the integrity of the group, so I think you should first discuss it in the group and see what the therapist suggests.

LegacyUser

ok she actually got in touch in an related matter (but i think its because of the meetings she
told me she was dreading meeting someone she knew and said it was a bit embarrasing and asked me if i was going back i said i didnt know i was going to ring the counsellor but i went by the first reply and texed her and said i will drop if she wanted but she she would probably go back and it was a suprise seeing me there. but she is timid so maybe she didnt want to say and i was to take a hint?

i suppose i will a counsellor and ask them what to do?

the thing about my brother may or may not be the case i dont know tbh

araic88

I tend to agree with the 'last in first out' idea, it's not fair for you if you've been going to be guilted into leaving when she joins, on the other hand it'd be hard for her if she has been attending & finding it helpful and then have someone she knows arrive. But yeah, as you've said, see what the counsellor thinks!

Stavro Mueller

unsure+what_todo wrote: »

i have recently joined a counselling group. however on the first day i met someone i knew she is very timid and shy and i think she is at counselling because she took it bad when she split up from my brother. i have met since and she says its a bit awkward and and asked me if i am going back. should i saty away from the group so she can keep going?

To me I take it that the other girl was there already and that the OP has only just joined.

Everyone's different of course but if such a thing happened to me I'd be making alternative arrangements immediately. What's the point of going to something like this when you're sitting across the room from someone you already know. And if that's not bad enough, it's your brother's ex. Even the thoughts of it are making me cringe :eek:

As Merkin has pointed out, the both of you being in the same session probably means neither of you can benefit properly from it. It's ruining this girl's chances of getting help and it surely can't be helping you either.

LegacyUser

thanks for the replies

yea i know her but i also know someone else at the meetings(whereas she only knows me) the way i figured i know loads of people and it im lucky i only know 2 there so in a way if i come back i could know even more people at the next meeting

when we go into the meetings we are split into 2 separate groups but dont how long it lasts like that i will phone counsellor to see other opinions

neemish

Was going to suggest asking the counsellor - I'm sure this is not the first time it's happened and he/she might have a plan for such occasions.

Would definitely suggest facing the issue and first speaking to the counsellor, and then if necessary speaking tp the other person

LegacyUser

its sorted. apparently its common enough and no big deal

Neyite

Glad it worked out ok for you OP.

Locking this as its resolved.