Does there come a point when love just isn't enough?

LegacyUser

Does there come a point in a relationship, when love for each other isn't enough to keep it going?

I've been with my girlfriend for almost two years (2 weeks away, infact). We really love each other so much. I never thought I'd feel the way I do about her. She's not perfect, no one is, but I still love her to bits.

Our relationship has been very rocky for the last 5/6 months, always was a bit. We argue a lot, have our differences but lately things have been becoming more clear to me. I've been thinking more and more about why we ague, why we fight and tonight, I think I've uncovered some of the reasons why. She wants to be oblivious to it all - "We'll try harder", "We'll be fine"... but at this point, I'm really not sure. I burst out into tears just a few minutes ago and have never cried so hard, I think it's because it hit me.

She can't accept some things about me. I love music, it's my life, it was before we got together. There has been times in our relationship where she has made me feel guilty for it, and tonight, whether she meant to or not, while discussing our problems, she did again. There's a lot more to it than this, I'm at fault here too though, I've done a lot to hurt her too, I'm certainly not perfect either.

I love her, but I feel now that our love isn't enough...help me!

P.s, sorry for the long post, had to get it out somehow..

jantheman91

Sit down and talk through it. Don't hold any of your feelings back, you both need to change if this is to work.

By keeping counsel to yourself you're allowing things fester and it's a primary reason for these arguments.

You've been together 2 years, and you both love one another. I really think it would be a crying shame if you were to part ways because of silly arguments.

For God's sake please just talk it out like adults. Too many great relationships are lost because both parties fail to communicate effectively.

This, like all your other problems is manageable so make the effort!

December2012

Yes communicate but that means really listening to yourself.

Maybe you're just not compatible any more.

Sometimes relationships need work, but that doesn't mean they have to be work. Some things should come easy.

Confused1982

December2012 wrote: »

Yes communicate but that means really listening to yourself.

Maybe you're just not compatible any more.

Sometimes relationships need work, but that doesn't mean they have to be work. Some things should come easy.

I agree. Talk things through in a calm neutral setting. If you split now you might always wonder if you could have tried harder

IrishEyes19

write down what you feel she doesnt accept about you. Then write down what you feel you havent been fair to her about. then sit down with her and give them both to her. Ask her to do the same if she is willing and swap.

afterwards, you need to go through each thing and explain and figure out why you dont support each other in that way. If you can geniunely feel you can make a change on it, and work on it. then your relationship is worth saving. If not, you need to reconsider why you are holding onto something. Sometimes love isnt enough, I do believe that. Sometimes you can be in love but other pieces of the puzzle arent fitting together. its up to you and your partner to decide if its worth fighting for.

Queen-Mise

Oh definitely OP - sometimes love just isn't enough. But then love is not exactly going to sort out anything by itself

What you need to make a relationship work long (long) term - is to be able to talk about whatever is happening, listening to the other, a willingness to find a mutual compromise (that doesn't make you feel as if you are losing too much).

I have found the trick is to find a new way forward - rather than bringing 'single' type behaviour's into the future whilst in a relationship.

tan11ie

No sometimes it just isn't enough, in saying that relationships take a lot of hard work from both sides.

If it gets to the point when someone is trying to change you or asking you to give up things that make you "you" then I'd say it's time to take a long hard look at whats more important.

Personally I don't like when I hear of partners trying to change their other half or telling them what they can and cannot do ...It all boils down to control and insecurity issues on their part, unless of course it's something that's bad or really interfering greatly with your relationship, if so sit down and talk...don't hold back air everything that needs to be dealt with otherwise it will raise again at a later stage.

I hope you both work it out