Blushing problem

LegacyUser

Anyone have an experience of blushing, as in a problem and not just funny embarrassing moments of your life? I mean an ongoing battle, every minute of the day kind of thing? I live with it, it’s a nightmare. I feel it’s holding me back so much, as if I'm in a prison. I can’t sit down at a table with one or two people without immediately panicking about my face going red and attention being brought onto me. I avoid certain social situations like lunch in work, bright areas in work, places where I have to make eye to eye contact with one or two people. I have to say the most stressful situations are in work, when I have a meeting with one other person in a bright room. It doesn’t even have to be a formal meeting, it could be a colleague of mine just talking to me in the corridor, actually now that I think about it they’re the worst as there’s NO reason to get embarrassed and it looks odd if I do.. I guarantee to you that I go red and it’s noticeable for sure by the other person. Making lunch, I avoid the kitchen due to how bright it is. It’s got so bad that even the person I'm supposed to be relaxed with, my girlfriend, I find myself running out of a room sometimes to avoid being 'less of a man', make a cup of tea, get the attention to what I'm doing and away from face!!! Its ridicules.

I've tried different things but it all falls apart again soon enough. I have windows open in work even if it’s cold to keep me cool, give me a bit of confidence as I can control somewhat the colour/temperature, or if I have a scarf and jacket on, something that covers part of my face which helps. It’s got me really down sometimes. I’m ok outside when it’s dark or sunny as it’s too hard to see clearly as sun can be in eyes etc. Overcast days can sometimes get me. I feel like I'm at a point in my career that requires meetings a lot to progress.. The funny thing is that I look forward to my career in the future, meeting people but it’s the f**king one on one meetings that I'm afraid of. And socially, its the exact same if not worse. I avoid certain social situations, like going into people's houses as I’m not in control of the lighting environment. I try keep social situations to one liners, fast funny and to the point but that not right either. Like for instance my friend has just asked we meet up, go for a drive and a chat.. I’m thinking, ok driving at night… no chance of him seeing me go red.. no problem! Nightclubs and pubs are fine, possibly due to drink/darker lighting? On a typical day I try put myself between a light or window and the person I'm talking to so as to put some kind of shade on my face, it helps with my confidence... Jesus it’s so sad. I struggle day to day and I need to do something. PS, I'm in my late 20's.

IRISHSPORTSGUY

Firstly, once you get the notion out of your head that blushing makes you less of a man you will fix it.

Try to fix your body language to make you look relaxed if it starts happening. Yawn.... or something.

December2012

Maybe go and speak with a therapist about your panic and self image.

LegacyUser

I used to suffer a lot from this.

In fact, it came back last night at a college lecture.

But instead of ruminating on it, and letting it get to me I just laughed at myself and said "ah, sure it's human to blush, let's get it over and done with".

A lot of it is in your head and there can be environmental issues as well - when I lived in a hot climate I found myself blushing less (well, I had a bit of a tan) as I was outdoors a lot and wasn't going from hot to cold all the time / layering up with clothes etc.

Go talk to your GP.

Lorna123

This must be awful for you OP. I was very shy when I was younger and no matter what advice I got it didn't help. I grew out of it and looking back I now realize that nobody cared whether I was shy or not, except for myself. If your face goes red when you speak to someone, so what! I think that the only way to get over this is to keep on chatting and it will pass. People like shy people as they are humble and not likely to cause any friction. People feel at home with shy people. So remember this. The quickest way to get over this problem is just to keep on interacting with people whether you like it or not. Never back away from a situation just because you are blushing. Don't give in to yourself on this because the more often you face up to it the quicker it will pass. Be kind to yourself OP, stop beating yourself up over this. If anyone draws attention to your blushing just agree with them and say "God, I was hoping you wouldn't notice". If you act confident and look like it doesn't bother you you will overcome this. I can guarantee you.

kat.mac

I think it'd be worth chatting to your GP about this OP. Might be that there's a very simple way to at least reduce the problem. I go completely red in the face quite often as well but I counteract it with make-up - if I couldn't do that, it'd have an awful impact on my life so I really feel for you!