Confused....

How Soon Is Now

My girlfriend and i have been trying for a baby for about 7-8 months now. Her periods where irregular for a while at the start but she soon got all her dates in order and everything was fine if anything it tended to be early some months.

She got her period last week but it was nearly 3 weeks late!! We have no idea what caused this or weather it may continue. She took a few tests they where all negative. We also went to the doctor but we got the same bull **** response to relax and not think about it she told us nothing just took our money.....

They say stress can cause things to change but where both fine and have been the last few months nothing has really changed which is why it gets kinda annoying after awhile when you have everyone telling you to relax and not stress out when in fact its the likes of this which is causing us to stress out :pac:

We have been doing everything we could to do things right shes been taking vitamins i was even taking male ones for a while. We have both been pretty much off alcohol for months apart from few at Christmas and odd time i was out with friends nothing crazy. So its not as if we aint taking it seriously and its a casual thing.

I get the impression the doctor did not take my girlfriend or myself seriously because shes 22 and i am 26 she kinda sat there looking at us like we were aliens......

Anyway it was just weird for this to happen out the blue so i am hoping this wont become a regular thing we really want this to happen but were fully aware it can take time its just when you have no idea whats going on it can make things harder for you!!.

stickybean

Hi angerfist2009,

I know a little of how you are feeling, we are coming up to 18 months trying. We went to our doctor at 11/12 months. And have our appointment later this month with a fertility specialist.

If you are under 30 and there are no known problems such as PCOS or endo generally the doctors asks your to wait 12-18 months. If you are over 30 it would be 6-8 months.

If you GF has irregular periods it can make thing harder. I would recommend she tries to work out then she is ovulating, this can be done through using OPK (ovulation predictor kits (you can get these cheap on the internet) ), through temping (monitoring your temperature each morning) or monitoring your cervical mucus, this may be something she might want to look into herself or there is a link on here somewhere.

Try keep a record of her periods, and track things such as ovulating dates, pain levels, and roughly when or how often you are doing the deed, my doctor asked me for this when we went.

I know it tiring to hear and I hate hearing it myself, but one of the best things you can do is to relax, I have heard it works

Another idea might be to try some alternative therapies, I have been trying reflexology and some of the girls on here have tried acupuncture.

Best of luck x

How Soon Is Now

stickybean wrote: »

Hi angerfist2009,

I know a little of how you are feeling, we are coming up to 18 months trying. We went to our doctor at 11/12 months. And have our appointment later this month with a fertility specialist.

If you are under 30 and there are no known problems such as PCOS or endo generally the doctors asks your to wait 12-18 months. If you are over 30 it would be 6-8 months.

If you GF has irregular periods it can make thing harder. I would recommend she tries to work out then she is ovulating, this can be done through using OPK (ovulation predictor kits (you can get these cheap on the internet) ), through temping (monitoring your temperature each morning) or monitoring your cervical mucus, this may be something she might want to look into herself or there is a link on here somewhere.

Try keep a record of her periods, and track things such as ovulating dates, pain levels, and roughly when or how often you are doing the deed, my doctor asked me for this when we went.

I know it tiring to hear and I hate hearing it myself, but one of the best things you can do is to relax, I have heard it works

Another idea might be to try some alternative therapies, I have been trying reflexology and some of the girls on here have tried acupuncture.

Best of luck x

Thanks for the reply didnt think id get any being honest !
She has being working out her ovulation dates the last few months she has some app for her phone and also uses the ovulation test strips so as far as we can see everything is also going ok there.

Her periods have been regular pretty much since we got the hang of the dates each month so this kinda threw us off you can imagine what we were thinking her being nearly 3 weeks late before finally getting a period.

Where as relaxed as most people i guess i mean life is just life at times theres always going to be things u have to worry about or stress over but where by no means going insane haha. Where just taking things as they come. Its hard for her the end of every month when nothing happens and i do feel the same myself but we just get on with it and try again.

I think the fact i have a few friends with babys and there has been a new baby in her family she is around alot as kinda made us both feel a bit down about it at times.

As far as we know we are both healthy and there should be no issues there neither of us has any medical conditions and from what home tests we did fertile levels where all also normal. I know sometimes these can change but really i assume where just like most couples.

She also tracks everything that goes on during the month on the same app she uses to calculate ovulation and periods. Really i dont think theres much else we can do as a young couple who aint rolling in money :pac:.

As a man i just find it hard to know where to go at times and my girlfriend feels same she has no one to talk to about this apart from me and feels un comfortable trying to talk to other women about it hence the reason im here!

I have some mates who have had kids which helps at times.

By the way best of luck yourself !!

stickybean

Ah sure look, I may sound awful but I am sick of hearing of people getting pregnant, I swear since we have started trying woman with bumps are following me around, sometimes I cry, sometimes I am happy to see them, sometimes I think soon that will be me, others I feel it will never happens. I bet your girlfriend has a very similar range of emotions, but it is important to keep talking to each other, you guys will have a lot of ups and down on this journey and its important you keep strong.

If you got positives with the strips thats a really great sign and also the bet time to have sex. Try every second day around the ovulation dates. To cover your bases we were told from CD 12 (12 days after your GF's period start) have sex every second day (Now I have a later ovualtion that most - I ovulate at CD 19, so maybe adjust accordingly )

Even people with regular cycles still get the odd one that is late / early for a variety of different reasons, illness, stress, mood, hormones etc.

When you get to the 12 months or just before go speak to your GP, if you still think they are giving you the brush of get a second opinion. The GP does 2 things at this point, the man gets send for a semen analysis and the girl gets day 3 and day 21 bloods (day 21 bloods aren't necessarily on day 21, it refers to 7 days after your ovulate) this test checks that youa re actually ovulating. You will then be refered to a fertility specialist, you can normally choose where you want to go, we are going to the Merrion Clinic (part of Holloes Street).

Not sure what happens after that - were going in 2 weeks - so I will keep you posted

How Soon Is Now

stickybean wrote: »

Ah sure look, I may sound awful but I am sick of hearing of people getting pregnant, I swear since we have started trying woman with bumps are following me around, sometimes I cry, sometimes I am happy to see them, sometimes I think soon that will be me, others I feel it will never happens. I bet your girlfriend has a very similar range of emotions, but it is important to keep talking to each other, you guys will have a lot of ups and down on this journey and its important you keep strong.

If you got positives with the strips thats a really great sign and also the bet time to have sex. Try every second day around the ovulation dates. To cover your bases we were told from CD 12 (12 days after your GF's period start) have sex every second day (Now I have a later ovualtion that most - I ovulate at CD 19, so maybe adjust accordingly )

Even people with regular cycles still get the odd one that is late / early for a variety of different reasons, illness, stress, mood, hormones etc.

When you get to the 12 months or just before go speak to your GP, if you still think they are giving you the brush of get a second opinion. The GP does 2 things at this point, the man gets send for a semen analysis and the girl gets day 3 and day 21 bloods (day 21 bloods aren't necessarily on day 21, it refers to 7 days after your ovulate) this test checks that youa re actually ovulating. You will then be refered to a fertility specialist, you can normally choose where you want to go, we are going to the Merrion Clinic (part of Holloes Street).

Not sure what happens after that - were going in 2 weeks - so I will keep you posted

Thanks for the advice and hope it all goes well for you :-)

pwurple

angerfist2009 wrote: »

I get the impression the doctor did not take my girlfriend or myself seriously because shes 22 and i am 26 she kinda sat there looking at us like we were aliens.

Change GPs. I have heard the same story a few times from people who went to the GP trying to conceive if they were not married. Plenty of people don't approve of unmarried couples trying for children, but they won't say it, they just won't be helpful.

What that GP should have done is schedule blood tests to check the ovulation on day 3 and day 21.

You won't change their mind, so i would find a GP that approves instead.

orchidsrpretty

I had been "not not" ttc for over 4 years before I went to my doctor about it all. She did give my the day 3 bloods but when I went back for day 21, she decided not to bother doing it and told me to go on the pill for a few months and forget about ttc for a while!!
Some are clueless and I think some are trying not to get you too worried that there is something wrong they can be a bit overly dismissive.
If you are not feeling happy with the advice you are getting from your doc, you can always just ask them for a referrel letter for a fertility clinic of your choice and go from there.

pwurple

orchidsrpretty wrote: »

I had been "not not" ttc for over 4 years before I went to my doctor about it all. She did give my the day 3 bloods but when I went back for day 21, she decided not to bother doing it and told me to go on the pill for a few months and forget about ttc for a while!!
Some are clueless and I think some are trying not to get you too worried that there is something wrong they can be a bit overly dismissive.
If you are not feeling happy with the advice you are getting from your doc, you can always just ask them for a referrel letter for a fertility clinic of your choice and go from there.

Orchidsrpretty, the results from the first bloods may have given your doctor some information. I was advised to go on a pill for 3 months and then try again after my day 3 bloods were taken. He said my hormones would be kicked back into sync by it. It worked for me. I conceived the second cycle after coming off the pill. It may not have been clueless information from your doctor.

Of course change GP if you are not happy, but the advice you were given works for some people. Me for one.

orchidsrpretty

pwurple wrote: »

Orchidsrpretty, the results from the first bloods may have given your doctor some information. I was advised to go on a pill for 3 months and then try again after my day 3 bloods were taken. He said my hormones would be kicked back into sync by it. It worked for me. I conceived the second cycle after coming off the pill. It may not have been clueless information from your doctor.

Of course change GP if you are not happy, but the advice you were given works for some people. Me for one.

Glad that it worked for you.I was just just trying to point out some docs won't take you that seriously when you are younger. I am almost sure if I was older, she would not of been telling me to relax and see what happens.

lollpop

I know it's frustrating but the GP is probably right. Usually if you are under 35, it's recommended that you wait a full year of trying before any further tests start. The reason for that is quite simply because most people do get pregnant within the year. Also, when you start getting tests done it can get very expensive very quickly.

If you want to be ready to move things to the next stage then your girlfriend could try tracking her cycle using things like temping & ovulation predictor kits (OPKs). It might help give you a better idea of what's going on by helping to pin point her ovulation time. fertilityfriend.com is very useful for temping. In order to get the "standard" bloods done (day 3 & day 21) your girlfriend will need to be fairly sure of her ovulation day. Temping is the only way to do this yourself so no harm in starting now. It can take a few months to get it right!

Edited to say - it's very rare that a period is "late". Usually what happens is that the ovulation day was later than usual, so in fact the period is bang on time based on the ovulation day. Temping/OPKs would help spot that!

Good luck.

fend

Hey OP,

I know how frustrating this is! Im going through the process too and although you may seem relaxed, and your gf may tell you shes relaxed, shes probably not! The entire process is stressful!

Id have to agree with the above poster who said to change GPs. My gyno wouldnt help me and my bf becaus we werent married. Im 26, he's 23. We've been together since we've been kids. I dont want to get married, he does, but he respects my decision. We have found A LOT of Drs will fob you off because you're not married. Both our GP's, who we've known professionally and personally all our lives are doing it! Find a GP and go together and explain your situation.

There is more than likely nothing wrong with either of you but it cant hirt to be checked for everything. Keep trying every month and both of you have a look at Fertility Friend. Its really helpful and gives some really good advice on getting pregnant. Cant reccomend it highly enough.

Keep in mind that a healthy couple only really have a 25% chance of getting pregnant per month, so relax. You'll get there.

How Soon Is Now

fend wrote: »

Hey OP,

I know how frustrating this is! Im going through the process too and although you may seem relaxed, and your gf may tell you shes relaxed, shes probably not! The entire process is stressful!

Id have to agree with the above poster who said to change GPs. My gyno wouldnt help me and my bf becaus we werent married. Im 26, he's 23. We've been together since we've been kids. I dont want to get married, he does, but he respects my decision. We have found A LOT of Drs will fob you off because you're not married. Both our GP's, who we've known professionally and personally all our lives are doing it! Find a GP and go together and explain your situation.

There is more than likely nothing wrong with either of you but it cant hirt to be checked for everything. Keep trying every month and both of you have a look at Fertility Friend. Its really helpful and gives some really good advice on getting pregnant. Cant reccomend it highly enough.

Keep in mind that a healthy couple only really have a 25% chance of getting pregnant per month, so relax. You'll get there.

Thanks for the advice and reply :-). Where just trying to tone things down a bit now and try enjoy things as much as possible easyer said then done at times i know but do our best ha