Home or Away?

L unknown

Hi Guys, So I am looking for a little bit of advice with this one. I am 28 and Iwork and live in Australia and I love my job and am sponsored. I live in one of the most fantastic Countries in the world and I do not take that for granted for one minute. I work in management in the hospitality industry. The thing is I really miss home especially my family.

Lately I have been thinking about moving back in about six months or so, believe me I know the grass in NOT greener on the other side and am well aware of the recession and depression that is at home. The question that I have to ask myself is it worth living half way across the world when you are away from your family and friends? The most important thing in life to me is family and living all this way away from home scares me sometimes and dread to think if something happened at home. Believe me I do not go around everyday worrying but I do have a gut feeling that it is time to settle down and I really want to do that in Ireland. Am I mad?

Eoin

Hi OP, I think this is more suited to this forum as it's not specifically an employment issue.

kiva989

Hey, a year ago I could have written your post!

I was sponsored in Sydney, good salary and loads of room for career progression. Plus great weather, loads to do, good social life etc etc.

But something was always niggling at me and I while was happy enough there, I never felt truly content and satisfied with my life. Part of that had to do with the fact I never felt like a I *belonged* in Australia. It wasn't my home and my family weren't there.

Moving back was a tough decision. I changed my mind soo many times! I got offered a promotion in work which made the decision even harder. It was actually a very tough time emotionally because on one hand you gave a good job, good money, a viable future and on the other hand, you're hearing about cutbacks, the recession, unemployment. It really was a battle between my head and heart!

In the end, my heart won out! I asked myself to imagine 5 years into the future and think about whether my priorities have changed. Could I see my self 100% committing to Australian life? I dont how how, but I just knew I couldn't Family and homelife would still be the most important things to me. I want to be as more and more nieces and nephews were born, I want to be involved in the fun family occasions and not just hear about them second hand. My parents were getting on a bit and I wanted to be around for that.

Moving back made me reassess everything in my life because I knew I would never get a job in the area I worked in. Which actually turned out to be a good thing for me cause it was something I fell into and just stayed in. I was never passionate about it. So part of my plan to move home was to go back to college and train in the field I'd always wanted to work in.

I think there are a few questions you need to ask yourself:
1) Can you get a job in your field here?

2) If not, is there something related that you could and would be happy to do.

3) In 5, 10, 15 years time, what will be important to you? Family, career, relationships, financial stability?

Its a tough decision. For me though, Im definitely happy with the decision I made. I look back on my time in Oz with great fondness and am glad I had the experience, but for me, thats all it would ever be, an experience.

Good luck!

lima

Eh the recession is over and it's not depressing at all here! Just don't read the news or listen to the perpetual grumpy's and you'll be grand!

L unknown

kiva989 wrote: »

Hey, a year ago I could have written your post!

Everyone on Boards is just brilliant and to take the time to reply to my post I cant thank you enough. Kiva your response was unreal because everything you described is exactly how I am feeling at the moment.

The bottom line for me is family and like you i have nephew and nieces that i really want to be around all the time. I have no regrets this was one of the best experiences I have ever had and will never forget my time in Australia BUT I have to ask myself is it worth living without your family?!

To answer your question yes I would be able to secure a position in my line of work and i am nearly sure of that. The other thing that might be possible for me is setting up my own business which is something I have always wanted to do. I have not even scratch the surface on that and thats a whole other post!!

Thanks so much for your responses again!

skyfall2012

Ireland could do with talented, educated, young people moving home, instead of leaving. We would love to have you back:)

kiva989

Glad I could help!

I think when you're over there it's hard to admit you are voluntarily coming home. Most Irish over there are 100% on the sponsorship bandwagon and you hear the "Ireland's dead, nothin to go home to" speel everywhere you go. At the time, I found it very isolating cause I thought I was the only one feeling like that. Now though, I think a lot of Irish say those things because it justifies them being there, when really, I think alot of them would be home if they could.

midnight_train

kiva989 wrote: »

Now though, I think a lot of Irish say those things because it justifies them being there, when really, I think alot of them would be home if they could.

I think that's very true of a lot of expats. I'm American, lived in Ireland for ten years. Now I'm living in NYC, but know a lot of Irish expats living over here. A lot of people (not just Irish) are overly negative about their home country because they want to feel like moving abroad is the right decision for them. But it drives me nuts here when I hear Irish people in NYC running down Ireland and saying what a terrible place it is - um, you haven't LIVED there in years!! How do you know what it's like??? Same for Americans who talk about how awful the USA is, but haven't lived there for years, either.

You have to do what YOU want, and, as I read somewhere once, you must 'honour your discontent.' If something's niggling you, it's for a reason. Don't ignore it, and don't let other peoples' attitude frame how you feel.

Good luck! xx

L unknown

Its so much easier to blame the Country than yourself right?!

Yes that is very true about the Irish and to be honest I have said it once or twice myself about Ireland. I think there are many reasons for this but my main reason is because i had so many of my family who true no fault of their own are out of work. It is very sad to see families struggling to pay the bills and send their children to school. I admire the Irish that pack up and move half way across the world to work especially families that do so. However, I agree that many Irish to it to justify their reason for being here and if i am being honest most Irish are not much better off over here than at home. The cost of living is so expensive and if you go home for a holiday every 12 months you may aswell say goodbye to all your savings!

Each to their own I suppose. I would never turn my back on Ireland or deem where i am living to be so fantastic. The weather is great, the beaches are great, the nightlife is great BUT when you work on average 60 hour week I can tell you it’s hard to make time to enjoy it!

Thank you guys so much!

chocolatechips

I'm actually in the exact opposite situation to yourself!

In Ireland, doing a degree, support from the grant authority which pays my fees, enough money to get by etc. But my family live over in Australia!

It's taken me a while to decide on what to do, but I suppose my heart won and now I'm applying to Australian universities, praying I get into one, and when I do I'll have to pay an awful lot of fees.

But I'll have my mam, dad and siblings (along with some great weather!) so I think I'll get by just fine.

Good luck on your choice OP!

L unknown

chocolatechips wrote: »

I'm actually in the exact opposite situation to yourself!


Hey there!

Your actually in the same situation though your family live half was across the world and your missing them.

I feel your pain with the fees it is crul here but the other side of it is its only money and you cant buy happiness!

When did you family move out here? Weather is unreal at the moment but in Sydney its gets awful cold & wet in the Winter months so its the same as been at home!

Im still not sure and will keep my options open for the moment but i cant see myself staying more than another 12 months max.

I am sure you family would love to have you out here...:)

chocolatechips

L unknown wrote: »

Hey there!

Your actually in the same situation though your family live half was across the world and your missing them.

I feel your pain with the fees it is crul here but the other side of it is its only money and you cant buy happiness!

When did you family move out here? Weather is unreal at the moment but in Sydney its gets awful cold & wet in the Winter months so its the same as been at home!

Im still not sure and will keep my options open for the moment but i cant see myself staying more than another 12 months max.

I am sure you family would love to have you out here...:)

Yeah, money is great and all but for me it's just not worth it.

My family moved around four years ago, they came over for Christmas and I suppose that helped me realise that I want to head over myself.

Hoping to do the move after Christmas this year, just have to sort out my visa.

MurdyWurdy

I was living in NZ for four years, had permanent residency and a good job. I wanted to come home though. Everyone said I was mad and people just couldn't understand why I would possibly want to leave NZ (the land of milk and honey as they all thought!). We moved back last June.

It was the best decision we've ever made. I am so much happier, content and much more myself. I'm like a different person now I'm home. My husband got a job in Dublin before we even left NZ and I got one not long after arriving. Financially we are much better off here and while I miss my friends in NZ, I don't miss living there for one second.

Only you know what it best for you, I had so many naysayers telling me not to go home but every day I'm grateful that I did. No matter how bad a day I've had just walking around Dublin, being able to see my family and friends makes me realise how lucky I am. I have much more of a sense of belonging, It depends on your priorities, I'm close to my family and friends here and that's the most important thing for me. I wanted to start a family and I didn't want to do that away from home. It just wasn't an option.

My grandmother died 4 days after I got back to Ireland, before I could see her. That was the moment when I knew I had made the right decision. Being with my family at that time meant everything to me. I'm so grateful that my mum was spared making a phone call to me in NZ to tell me. Instead I was standing next to her when she got the call from my aunt to tell us.

It's your life and we all have our own priorities. Don't listen to other people

Carson10

I never lived or worked abroad but i can only imagine it is definitely a hard decision.

I suppose at 28 your at that stage between still young but need to have a direction for the future and would be very easy to continue on living in Oz and get caught up in life for example, maybe meet an Australian get married have kids and then a few years time realise you only want to be in Ireland and have a spouse who only wants to live in Oz etc...

I say live for now and do what you want. If you want to be home in Ireland then move back. You've only got you stopping yourself. Maybe you wont have the money for everything you want, but at least you'l be a home with your family and friends.

I think every Irish person is just going to OZ because everyone else is, and then the next minute their landed and 1000's of miles from home. Its the same as years ago, you were odd if you didnt move to Dublin for college or work, now its Oz.

You could perhaps look in the UK which is far closer and you could come home every 2nd weekend if you really wanted.

good luck

leahyl

OP, i can never understand this mentality that because you're young you must be dying to travel/live abroad. I could never imagine living away in any other country than Ireland. It's my home and as much as I love travelling I will always come home.

If you're not happy, come home.:)