He's now single- do i go for it?

LegacyUser

So I like this guy a while.. he's always had a girlfriend as long as I know him (2 years).. couple of months ago he came on to me while drunk one night. I was so shocked i laughed and made it clear nothing going to happen.. we remained friends as we were.. we were messaging one night and he started flirting big time, I gave as good as i got but he knew nothing gonna happen.

anyway... couple months later.. we are messaging about work and somehow he tells me him and his missus are off.. I feel bad for him, and let him know, asked is all ok etc..

My question for this current situation is Do I go for it? .. and how without him thinking i'm only a friend checking is he ok..

December2012

Whatever way you thought of him before, it's highly likely he does not think of you as just a friend.

Is there a pub or other place you are both likely to be that you could meet up?

sffc

Bit confused as you talked about girlfriends and then "missus" but don't think you meant his wife ? . First and foremost you had better make sure he and his girlfriend are definitely off . Don't take his word for it - you need to confirm it with a third party . Secondly I'd be careful of going for something too soon after the break up unless you just want some fun . It'll probably be a rebound thing and end pretty quickly. Are you ok with that ?

Overall though OP even from what you write this guy isn't catch of the century . Bluntly I have to tell you this - if he came on to you twice while he had a girlfriend he'll do the same with with you . The fact that he was drunk is immaterial as I take it he hasn't given up drink since ? Don't fool yourself believing that you are going to have a hold on him that the other girl(s) didn't - you won't . In fact he will have less respect for you because you knew he was a cheat and still wanted to be with him .

Its your life but he sounds like trouble .

CaraMay

Yeah I would pass op... He was willing to cheat in his ex with you and to effectively have you as a mistress. Not a great basis to start a relationship on and sffc is totally right.

RossFixxxed

If someone cheats with you they will probably cheat on you.

That's not carved in stone, but if he was lining up the next girl in advance, do you really trust him? It's obviously impossible to tell but that would set alarms off in my head!

LegacyUser

thanks for replies!

Not looking for relationship with him.. just bit of fun- does that sound really bad? eek!

It's definitely off, we're not quite in the 'just friends' zone but we get on enough for him to tell me truth, .. like he wasnt telling me so i would think me and him are gonna get together.. and we in small place so id know if otherwise and She is gone.

sffc

DorothyandKumba wrote: »

thanks for replies!

Not looking for relationship with him.. just bit of fun- does that sound really bad? eek!

It's definitely off, we're not quite in the 'just friends' zone but we get on enough for him to tell me truth, .. like he wasnt telling me so i would think me and him are gonna get together.. and we in small place so id know if otherwise and She is gone.

No it doesn't sound bad - as long as you realise that you can't ever complain about guys being afraid of commitment or being cheaters . Deal ?

Merkin

sffc wrote: »

No it doesn't sound bad - as long as you realise that you can't ever complain about guys being afraid of commitment or being cheaters . Deal ?

I totally agree with this.

Go for it OP if you want but you must give some element of a fig if you've gone to the trouble of posting in RI about it.

Just be quite clear that:

a. he's a cheat
b. he probably won't want any commitment whatsoever as he's just out of a relationship

If you genuinely have no expectations other than him being a fcuk buddy to while away some time with then blessings be upon you. I certainly wouldn't be anticipating a great romance or anything...

RossFixxxed

If it is just fun and you are both on the same page, fine.

I can still picture a future post "are we in a relationship?" Or "once a cheater always a cheater?" Maybe a "he only wants sex" or similar. FWB etc is absolutely fine, but in reality feelings often creep in and things get messy.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies.. god knows what i sound like..
Never thought this guy would ever be single so idea of a relationship never thought off.
and yeah as all you guys say above, if he can try to cheat with me then he could cheat on me.
anyway right cheers and cheers again!