Should I ask for money she said I could have?

LegacyUser

A few years ago I moved out of the family home and moved in with my sister. I was giving her money every week for my keep even though I was away at college 5 days a week so was only really there on the weekends and even at that I was at my boyfriend's house most weekends. At the time my sister told me she was saving the money I had given her and when the time came for me to move out she would give it all back to me so I had a lump sum to put towards wherever I was going.

After about 12 months living there she told me she wanted her boyfriend to move in, so I had to move out. I moved out and my boyfriend and I got our own place. When I moved out I was happy to do so, I liked my sister's boyfriend and was happy they were moving on to the next phase of their relationship and we often met up for lunch/dinner on our own and with our partners - so basically I didn't move out on bad terms.

My sister never mentioned the money she said she would give me and at the time I didn't think to bring it up as I was working full time and was doing ok for myself. After a few months her and her boyfriend broke up and I knew things were tough for her financially so I couldn't bring it up then either. She had a tough couple of years money wise, lost her job, got another but was made redundant and was then unemployed for a bit so again there was never a good time to ask about the money and as I said I wasn't hard up for it so I let it go.

Fast forward to now and she has recently got an amazing job - she has told me she's now earning over 100k, has a company car and a few other nice perks. I'm delighted things are finally coming good for her as I know she struggled in the past few years. The thing is though things have been tough for me and my boyfriend recently - we've both taken massive cuts in pay and I had to have an operation last year and my company didn't pay me while I was out. We had to dip into our limited savings to cover the mortgage and now the savings are basically gone. I was thinking about asking my sister for the money she promised me (It would be almost €4000) as it would really help me out but I don't know if I should? It's a good few years since I lived with her and I don't know if she even remembers saying she would give it to me. And if I should ask for the money how do I go about it?

Thanks for any advice.

ANXIOUS

If you can afford not to ask her I wouldn't. I can only see it causing bad feelings.

Taltos

I too think too much time has passed.
Things change and it may have been an off the cuff comment. Realisitically speaking you were paying her rent, that is how you should look at it and just write it off. If you were renting from anyone else would they offer you the money back? - that is what you have to consider here...

Faith

If things are really tough, could you ask her for a loan that you'll repay once you're both back on your feet financially? Perhaps it would jog her memory. If not, she might still be happy to give you a loan that would tide you over for a while.

Daisy M

I don't think you should ask, you initially agreed to pay her this money as rent and were obviously satisfied with the amount. Even though you were away your room was been held for you and prevented her renting it out to somone else.
What your sister earns now has no bearing on this, she works for her money and it is hers to choose what she wants to do with it. If she had intended on giving you the money back she would have done so when you moved out.
It is a real pity she ever mentioned her plans, if she hadn't you would be none the wiser and there would be no chance it would sour your relationship.