Advice needed... need to get a move on...

halfmoon123

I’m in 3rd year of college and there is this girl in my year… she’s doing one of my subjects, and we seem to see each other constantly, either at compulsory lectures or in a corridor or at a pedestrian crossing lol… we recognize each other from some of the classes, and I’ve spoken to her once when I was with a friend who seemed to know her better than I did… she was lovely, and I have a major crush on her now… can’t stop thinking about her… she seems smart and funny as well as being pretty… whenever we see each other accidentally, we always exchange a friendly ‘hey’ or ‘hello’ or something of that nature and smile… or in a lecture or whatever sometimes we’ll catch each other’s eye… she’s definitely not ignoring me and she definitely notices me, but I’m not quite sure what to do now…… I’d love to get to know her better, but she’s always with friends, and it seems to be hard to get to know her better because we’re not in a lot of lectures together… What should I do???? I really want to get to know her… I think she likes me too on some level…Aarrrggghhh Help!!! I feel like this could be something...Never had a relationship or been on a date before at all.. I'm useless in this area, but I really think I'm ready for something more now relationship-wise... I'm not a party or going-out guy, don't go out that much, so it seems like college is the only way I'll get to know her... Appreciate all your help and advice

Roisy7

Well as the saying goes, faint heart never won fair lady.

What have you got to lose? If this girl says no or has a boyfriend at least you know.

I think you need to chat about the weather, chat about the course, ask her what topic she's doing for an assignment, ask her out for a coffee. Go for it

Best of luck

halfmoon123

Oh I love your positivity lol... I really want to go for it...... Thank you!

I'd be interested to know if a situation like this has actually ever worked out well for someone... Seeing someone, knowing that you'd be good together, and then actually getting together and it working out...

Why I want to try and follow this up is because I actually think she might be interested... the way we catch each other's eye sometimes, as I've stated, and the friendly exchanges... I don't think it's just me... Maybe I'm completely wrong lol, but i have a feeling I'm not...

here's hoping

Roisy7

Well I know a couple who are together for five years now and he persisted with her, despite her not being too interested at first. Maybe don't do that tho :P

I went out on a date before with a guy who was a customer in a shop I worked. I admired him coming there and having the guts to ask me out and I just thought, why not?

So you never know. Good luck

halfmoon123

I presume adding her on Facebook is out of the question since we really don't REALLY know each other too well, it's only been hellos etc...

But why can't we all just be honest with each other... Can I not just take a chance tomorrow and say to her 'look, I like you, can we go get a coffee or something' or is that too out of the question too? Would it be better to make up some lame excuse like 'do you have that sheet from last week's class' - I don't think that'd work... I'm just so tired of living every day with this big crush, can't seem to do anything else, I'm infatuated lol... Just wanna tell her how I feel...

(Mind you it's very hard to get her on her own especially at lectures - she's always with a friend it seems.... .... only time she may be on her own is in a corridor or if she's walking alone to a lecture or whatever)

Roisy7

halfmoon123 wrote: »

I presume adding her on Facebook is out of the question since we really don't REALLY know each other too well, it's only been hellos etc...

But why can't we all just be honest with each other... Can I not just take a chance tomorrow and say to her 'look, I like you, can we go get a coffee or something' or is that too out of the question too? Would it be better to make up some lame excuse like 'do you have that sheet from last week's class' - I don't think that'd work... I'm just so tired of living every day with this big crush, can't seem to do anything else, I'm infatuated lol... Just wanna tell her how I feel...

(Mind you it's very hard to get her on her own especially at lectures - she's always with a friend it seems.... .... only time she may be on her own is in a corridor or if she's walking alone to a lecture or whatever)

Well then. Perhaps you should invite the two of them for coffee. Maybe the friend may cop it and leave ye to it, or maybe ye might all have a nice chat and you could get to know her with no pressure.

After something like that, or a proper long conversation, you could add her on FB.

I wouldn't say "I like you" maybe something along the lines of "Hey I've an hour til my next tutorial, want to get a coffee or something?" Keep it light

halfmoon123

Interesting... Thanks

But even saying something like 'I've got an hour to spare wanna go grab a coffee or something' would probably be shocking to her ..I could never get away with being that smooth lol.. or so I think... It's just so hard to strike up a conversation with her since i don't see her that often or it's never seeing her solidly cos sitting in a lecture hall - you only have 5mins on either side of a lecture to chat about something silly before and after the lecture itself...... I'm talking in circles here.....Hopefully something will happen... cheers anyway!

A friend of mine knows her and actually that's when I had more than a few words with her - it was the 3 of us...still a short conversation but still it was something...although that was in early january...since then it's only been the few hellos and looks and stuff....... I suppose asking him about her is a bit 6th class-y isn't it :-/ oh god why is this soooo hard...

Roisy7

Ah don't talk yourself out of it. Because even if she does say no, at least you'll be out of limbo Worse case, she says no and nothing changes (you're not with her now are you?) best case, ye go out.

She won't be mean if she's a nice person, and if she is mean, you know you're better off. Very few girls would be mean in that situation, what's the point of it?

halfmoon123

Valentine's Day is coming up.......that might work... :rolleyes:

sffc

I'm more than twice your age OP but still remember those crushes in college . It's comforting to know some things don't change - including one basic fact :

If you do nothing you'll never go out with her - worse someone else might !

Yes, you might make an approach , maybe a crappy one and she might knock you back but you'll have the comfort of having done something . This happened to me with "Sally" fancied her for a year but least I did something and the following day I was fine . With "Jane" I never did ask and 25 years later still regret it . (Her dad owned a pub !!!!! )

I can't say whether she fancies you or not but you'll never know unless you make a move . The friends bit can be off-putting but its simply overcome . Just say "xxxx, could I have a quick word ?" to her in the corridor . Then smile at her friend(s) and say "I'll only be a second " -They'll get the hint and move on . SMILE SMILE SMILE - MAKE EYE CONTACT

"Sorry I don't normally do this (nervous laugh ) - but could we grab lunch on xxxday ? I was thinking of xxxxxxx , my friends say its really good "

Unless she's a cow and not worth knowing (unlikely form what you say ) the worst that can happen is she'll politely decline . Even if then you won't have lost anything - you'll have gained the knowledge that she's not interested and you can move on . Best case scenario - she'll ask you what took you so long !

halfmoon123

sffc wrote: »

I'm more than twice your age OP but still remember those crushes in college . It's comforting to know some things don't change - including one basic fact :

If you do nothing you'll never go out with her - worse someone else might !

Yes, you might make an approach , maybe a crappy one and she might knock you back but you'll have the comfort of having done something . This happened to me with "Sally" fancied her for a year but least I did something and the following day I was fine . With "Jane" I never did ask and 25 years later still regret it . (Her dad owned a pub !!!!! )

I can't say whether she fancies you or not but you'll never know unless you make a move . The friends bit can be off-putting but its simply overcome . Just say "xxxx, could I have a quick word ?" to her in the corridor . Then smile at her friend(s) and say "I'll only be a second " -They'll get the hint and move on . SMILE SMILE SMILE - MAKE EYE CONTACT

"Sorry I don't normally do this (nervous laugh ) - but could we grab lunch on xxxday ? I was thinking of xxxxxxx , my friends say its really good "

Unless she's a cow and not worth knowing (unlikely form what you say ) the worst that can happen is she'll politely decline . Even if then you won't have lost anything - you'll have gained the knowledge that she's not interested and you can move on . Best case scenario - she'll ask you what took you so long !

Thanks!

halfmoon123

I've spoken to this girl in groups of friends but it's very hard to talk to her on her own as I don't see her very often... I mean it'll be a couple of days now before I probably see her again... I've only spoken to her about twice in groups, and apart from that it's been a friendly 'hey' whenever we see each other. She seems great... Is it too early/freaky to do something further than this now, or should I continue just talking in groups... etc... Should I ask one of my friends who knows her better than I do - one of my male friends that's friendly with her - should I ask them if she's seeing anyone etc. - or is that the wrong thing to do?

sffc

Whatever you do DON'T involve anyone else - you aren't 13! You liked my last post. Read it again. Stop making excuses!

LegacyUser

If I were you I wouldn't go asking her out for coffee out of the blue. How about sitting near her in lectures so she sees you. Then when the lecture ends, make eye contact and strike up conversation (even if she's with a friend). Smile and look interested. She should take the hint that you like her. If she likes you back then she might talk to you on another occasion. Try and become friends or at least more familiar than just saying "hey" in the corridor. When you know her better, then you would be able to ask for her facebook. Good luck.

Big Bag of Chips

I'm locking this thread OP, as I think it is a repeat of a couple of other threads in the forum over the last number of months.

As per the forum Charter

You only need to start one thread.
Starting numerous threads over a short period of time will be considered attention whoring and they will be closed.

Please take the advice that has been offered (and pluck up the courage to talk to her somehow!) There is nothing else that can be added to that advice.

Big Bag of Chips