Do I tell him or not?

LegacyUser

In the past couple of days an ex boyfriend of mine got in contact with me. Just normal chat, nothing flirty or suggestive (he moved to Australia so nothing could/would ever happen there again). I have no romantic feelings for this guy, we were together for 3 years, we broke up a couple of years ago and I havent been in touch with him since. Do I tell my current boyfriend I am talking to him?

I have been seeing my current boyfriend almost a year. I think telling him is going to really bother him. He can be a bit insecure at times. I don't want to cause a big pile of problems by telling him. Maybe I should stop talking to the ex. But then again if there is nothing untoward going on I shouldnt have to? It would be nice to see how he is getting on particularly since he is abroad.

What do I do in this situation?

Ah_Yeah

IMO, I think it's better to tell your current boyfriend, because inevitably he will find out one way or another, and if he is insecure, he may feel like you were hiding it from him and not take it well.

If the shoe were on the other foot, would you rather he told you? And would you read into it if you found out he were talking to an ex girlfriend but didn't tell you?

Cupcake_Crisis

Tell him. If you don't and he finds out it will it will look like you have something to hide, even though you don't.

IrishEyes19

Tell him or end talking with the ex. There really is no inbetween here!!!

Nozzer

I would tell him- he would be very hurt if he found out himself and would probably have trust issues then

Meauldsegosha

I would tell him. If you don't and he finds out he may think you were trying to hide something.

Nothing wrong with talking to your ex by the way.

im confused again

Having read the replies it is obvious that people think in different ways and always will. Some people will be of the opinion that it is ok to chat with ex's, and maybe under some circumstances it is, but my opinion is that in most cases it's not. One of the sacrifices of being in a new relationship is that it is better all round to cut ties with old relationships. And it's not a big sacrifice either.

I think it is better not to be communicating with an ex when in another relationship but if you want to continue then you need to tell your current boyfriend. Honesty is always best.

Ah_Yeah

im confused again wrote: »

Having read the replies it is obvious that people think in different ways and always will. Some people will be of the opinion that it is ok to chat with ex's, and maybe under some circumstances it is, but my opinion is that in most cases it's not. One of the sacrifices of being in a new relationship is that it is better all round to cut ties with old relationships. And it's not a big sacrifice either.

I think it is better not to be communicating with an ex when in another relationship but if you want to continue then you need to tell your current boyfriend. Honesty is always best.

I think it's pretty clear that everyone on this thread is thinking in the exact same way : tell him. There is no difference in opinion here on this.

This wasn't a question of whether she should talk to her ex or not. The title was "do I tell him or not?", not "is it ok for me to talk to my ex?"

More often than not, trust issues only rear their head when there is dishonesty. There should be no issue with keeping in touch with an ex if you are open and honest about it.

im confused again

Ah_Yeah wrote: »

I think it's pretty clear that everyone on this thread is thinking in the exact same way : tell him. There is no difference in opinion here on this.

This wasn't a question of whether she should talk to her ex or not. The title was "do I tell him or not?", not "is it ok for me to talk to my ex?"

In her post she asks whether she should stop talking to her ex, that was what I was referring to.

You are right, everybody agrees she should tell him, the difference of opinion can be whether people in relationships should talk to their ex. I stated my opinion because if it makes the person that you are in a relationship uneasy then one needs to respect what they are feeling and forget about chatting to ex's. except where kids are involved then it can't be helped and will be necessary.