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Big Party Coming Up Advice Needed

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  • 02-02-2013 9:03pm
    #1
    Wattle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,075 ✭✭✭


    Hiya. Gonna be 10 years off the booze this year. In that time I've more or less stopped going to pubs (unless there's sport on I want to see) and never go anywhere near nightclubs. Anyway I'm doing a FAS course and there's a huge big house party hosted by one of the lads coming up in two weeks time. I'm pretty certain it's going to be a massive all-night piss-up. I haven't really been in a situation like this in a longtime as I became quite reclusive after I gave up. Now I do want to go to this party cos I get on really well with my classmates and they're a good bunch. It's being held in another town and I'm going to get the bus with a few others who are going so I don't really have an escape route with the car. I'm not worried that I'm going to drink it's just that I find drunk people really tiresome and I may have to stick a very longtime with some severely pissed people. It could turn into a bit of a nightmare. Any ideas on how I should handle it?


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    #2
    Sunnyisland
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    Going on what you posted the only way you can handle this is not go imo,I mean your going to a party where lots of alcohol will be around and you find drunk people really tiresome so why bother going ?

    said with respect and not in a smart way :-)


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    #3
    Bassfish
    Registered Users Posts: 903 ✭✭✭Bassfish


    Could you not get a taxi home or something? Maybe book it for 11 o'clock when people generally start getting messy drunk. It's good to make the effort to go to these things but also good to have an exit strategy.


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    #4
    Wattle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,075 ✭✭✭Wattle


    Yeah I understand what your saying but I don't want to be a total recluse. I don't mind spending time on my own but I do want to get out there and meet people. It's a big dilemma for non drinkers in Ireland.


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    #5
    Wattle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,075 ✭✭✭Wattle


    Bassfish wrote: »
    Could you not get a taxi home or something? Maybe book it for 11 o'clock when people generally start getting messy drunk. It's good to make the effort to go to these things but also good to have an exit strategy.

    The party is about 30 miles from where I live so that would be a hell of an expensive lift home.


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    #6
    Sunnyisland
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    Wattle wrote: »
    Yeah I understand what your saying but I don't want to be a total recluse. I don't mind spending time on my own but I do want to get out there and meet people. It's a big dilemma for non drinkers in Ireland.
    Wattle wrote: »
    The party is about 30 miles from where I live so that would be a hell of an expensive lift home.

    Yes wattle I know you don't want to be a recluse and I am certainly not saying anyone should or have to be one when they stop drinking,but in this particular case your options seem limited.


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    #7
    Wattle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,075 ✭✭✭Wattle


    I may reconsider bringing the car. I need an escape plan.


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    #8
    xzanti
    Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 10,437 Mod ✭✭✭✭xzanti


    I would bring the car if I were you...


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    #9
    hubba
    Registered Users Posts: 376 ✭✭hubba


    I would bring the car too, definitely. Even though you might get some initial unwanted attention for doing so, you'll be sooo glad of it later when you are bored out of your tree, listening to the same 'funny' story for the 100th time.

    Make up an excuse for taking the car .. maybe you will miss the bus due to some family duty which you have to take care of before going out galivanting. Don't tell them in advance, just spring it on them, make it sound more realistic. These things happen.

    Missing it altogether would be a pity by the sounds of it.


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    #10
    jazzyj1
    Registered Users Posts: 3 ✭jazzyj1


    I would bring the car i always drive myself then when i want to go i can it means i can go to partys , gigs etc but can leave when the silly season kicks in..
    I dont really understand what your delema is when you have a car, makes perfect sence to bring it .then you can go and leave when you need to.. enjoy it..


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    #11
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 8,016 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Main rule I've always had since making a stupid decision to go down the country with friends when I was only off the drink 6 months which had me demented is too always have an escape route. Bring the car


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    #12
    Ando's Saggy Bottom
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,628 ✭✭✭Ando's Saggy Bottom


    Definitely bring the car. Couldn't you offer the lads who were going to take the bus with you a lift, I'm sure they'd appreciate that as well? If you drive you immediately avoid all the stupid awkward questions about your not drinking and when things get too messy you can slip away and be home in under half an hour.

    Happy days.


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    #13
    Wattle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,075 ✭✭✭Wattle


    The only problem with giving those guys a lift is they'll want to go very early so that they can spend even longer in the pub. I want to try and limit my time in the pub. I'm pretty sure I will take the car but go later. Then I'll have the option to go if I'm feeling uncomfortable or bored.


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    #14
    Wattle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,075 ✭✭✭Wattle


    Well the party is coming up tomorrow night and I don't think it's going to be quite as big a shindig as I originally thought. I am going to drive and I think some of the drinkers might want a lift home afterwards. I'm cool with that. I've kinda been putting it around that I'm a non-drinker but in a fairly subtle kind of way. I'm not really worried, in fact I'm kinda looking forward to it but I just know at some point that I'm going to have that 'so how come you don't drink'? conversation.


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    #15
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 8,016 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Wattle wrote: »
    Well the party is coming up tomorrow night and I don't think it's going to be quite as big a shindig as I originally thought. I am going to drive and I think some of the drinkers might want a lift home afterwards. I'm cool with that. I've kinda been putting it around that I'm a non-drinker but in a fairly subtle kind of way. I'm not really worried, in fact I'm kinda looking forward to it but I just know at some point that I'm going to have that 'so how come you don't drink'? conversation.

    Good luck, bring the car as that extra thing to have at the back of your mind. Enjoy yourself !


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    #16
    hubba
    Registered Users Posts: 376 ✭✭hubba


    Well done for not backing out of it, Wattle. Just enjoy the evening and brush off any 'why are you not drinking?' questions with a joke or a distraction (people with a few drinks on board are very easily distracted in my experience).

    And remember, you are not cheating in any way, by not 'joining in' as they see it, in fact, you will be the only one (or one of a minority if there are any other teetotallers) who will be fully present for the evening, respecting the occasion and the people there.


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    #17
    xim2
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 20 ✭xim2


    tough one but is a good test! the reality is that sooner or later this type of situations will happen we cant hide forever in our non drinking world, think of the cons ( suffering, pain and regret ) you had everytime alcohol was involved, the negatives outnumber the ''fun'' the drinking scene is a illusion of fun and craic, most of the people drinking feel very insecure and cover it up getting wasted, keep strong and dont give in to temptation is not worth it! :)


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    #18
    Wattle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,075 ✭✭✭Wattle


    Well the party is done and I survived and had a really good time. In the end I didn't have to go to the pub as all the action took place in the guys house. In the end i just concentrated on talking to people and also laughing (in recognition) of people who were crazy drunk. One of my lecturers was there and I found out that she was a non-drinker during the week so we were talking about it and it turns out that she's been in AA for six years. It was good to have the support of someone who was in the same boat. I did get one or two remarks over the fact that I had lemonade in my hand especially from this one girl (who frankly was a bit of an idiot). So we stayed till about 3 a.m., I gave a few drunks a lift home crawled into bed at 4.30 and have slept most of the day. Glad it went well, I even danced! (very badly)


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    #19
    xim2
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 20 ✭xim2


    Wattle wrote: »
    Well the party is done and I survived and had a really good time. In the end I didn't have to go to the pub as all the action took place in the guys house. In the end i just concentrated on talking to people and also laughing (in recognition) of people who were crazy drunk. One of my lecturers was there and I found out that she was a non-drinker during the week so we were talking about it and it turns out that she's been in AA for six years. It was good to have the support of someone who was in the same boat. I did get one or two remarks over the fact that I had lemonade in my hand especially from this one girl (who frankly was a bit of an idiot). So we stayed till about 3 a.m., I gave a few drunks a lift home crawled into bed at 4.30 and have slept most of the day. Glad it went well, I even danced! (very badly)

    well done !!:pac:


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