She has to be cheating??

LegacyUser

My girlfriend of 3 years still has not come home.no text no phone call Iv made about 15 calls to her phone and yet still no avail.she has been avoiding me like hell this week and Iv no reason as too why.the last time she did this she lied about the hole night of events and after a week I found out she had slept with another tho apparently nothing happened they just slept in the same bed.i feel the whole relationship has jut hit the wall.i feel like sucha useless tool.i can only imagine what excuse shell come up with and without hard proof shell turn the tables back at me saying how paranoid I am.
For those with experience.does this happen?would your other half just disappear and not come back?how do you deal with it?
.im up all nigh.my mind is going crazy thinking of different scenarios of her events,thinking how to approach it.
Sorry if this doesn't make sense but its after 6 and I havt had a wink of sleep.
Any thoughts greatly appreciated

CaraMay

You might never find out if she cheated last night but the main issue, for now, as I see it is the total lack of respect she is displaying you. She has cheated before and you forgave it and now on top of that she stays out all night, knowing you will be frantic (Im sure) and doesnt bother to text you to say she is safe.

Dont put up with that OP. No one deserves the lack of respect she is displaying.

WaltKowalski

My first thought, and fear, would be that something bad might have happened to her,not that she's doing something bad.
It's a reflection on your relationship that you automatically think the latter.
You don't trust her.
I don't think you can have a successful relationship without trust.

username123

WaltKowalski wrote: »

My first thought, and fear, would be that something bad might have happened to her,not that she's doing something bad.
It's a reflection on your relationship that you automatically think the latter.
You don't trust her.
I don't think you can have a successful relationship without trust.

+1

No trust, whats the point?

RossFixxxed

I think most of us would be very worried if our OH didn't reply and our first concern wouldn't be cheating but safety... HOWEVER, from my reading of the OP this isn't new behaviour from her and she seems to be withdrawing and ignoring him...

The same point the others have made remains though... no trust... no relationship.

The Reamer

My money is on she being a cheat. If it is possible to do so, I would covertly follow her on her next night out. Try to catch them in the act and see what excuse she comes out with.
Rule: if she gets angry when you "turn up" she obviously has something to hide.

ibarelycare

By any chance have you posted about your girlfriend before?

Either way, this relationship seems doomed. She doesn't respect you and you don't trust her (understandably, in fairness). You don't need hard evidence to break up with her, you should just break up with her.

Holsten

Your girlfriend has slept in the bed with another guy.... this is at an unreal level of disrespect... like come on! Even if nothing did happen you should have either ended it then or made it as clear as day that it is completely unacceptable and if anything similar was to happen you'd be gone.

Everyone is different of course and hold people to different standards but if my girlfriend was to do that it would be over. Never in a million years would I sleep in the same bed as a female if I was in a relationship.

loloray

The Reamer wrote: »

I would covertly follow her on her next night out.

What? OP, if you are even considering this option, it's time to walk away. This is no way to live.

The Reamer wrote: »

Try to catch them in the act and see what excuse she comes out with.

This makes no sense, if, OP, you actually did catch her in the act, then how would an excuse be necessary?

Anyway OP, I hope she is home safe by now so your mind is at rest. If you cannot trust your other half then it might be time to reassess things. I do think that in a healthy relationship you would either be worried by 6am, or assume they are having too much fun to come home, or they fell asleep innocently on a friends sofa or whatever. Maybe what she is doing is all innocent, and perhaps if you discuss this with her, she can help you relax in future, e.g. she makes sure to text you if she is staying out later than she planned.
Best of luck.

ElleEm

The Reamer wrote: »

My money is on she being a cheat. If it is possible to do so, I would covertly follow her on her next night out. Try to catch them in the act and see what excuse she comes out with.
Rule: if she gets angry when you "turn up" she obviously has something to hide.

This is the most mental advice I have ever read on Boards!
OP, DON'T DO THIS!!! I would get "angry" if my boyfriend "covertly followed" me down to the local shop, and I have nothing to hide. It reeks of immaturity and drama.

OP, I understand your concerns, and especially if she has been distant over the last week. How is your relationship otherwise. Do you think she is happy?

She doesn't seem to respect you or your relationship, so whether she is cheating or not, this needs to be addressed.

December2012

How long are you going out with her?

Is she safe? That would be my concern.