Separation is painful

LegacyUser

Hi Oscar's mum,

I can totally empathise with how you are feeling as I am in the same boat. I have been with my husband almost 20 years and have children with him. I haven't been feeling love or desire from him for years but I just ploughed along and never gave up hope of it returning. But last Summer I discovered he was having an affair and he was not in love with me anymore.

We are currently living together, but separately. A separation is on the cards for us although our finances are so miserable that this is going to put us further into debt. Emotionally, when I discovered the truth I WAS DEVASTATED. I remember wanting to run also, I just didn't think I could face the future as everything I had thought was ahead of me in life was now torn to shreds. I cried so hard as I was driving along in the car that I had to pull in to the side of the road as I couldn't see ahead of me and I wailed so loud, I didn't realise I could cry so hard. It is easy to turn to the bed and not want to face up to life, but it definitely isn't the solution.

Now, 7 months on, we are still living together and life is hard when he is around. We don't argue but we don't interact. The love and the common interests are gone. He is a good father and the children are happy, but they don't know yet that we are to separate. Another hurdle I must face in the near future. But emotionally I am not as bad as I was. I would say that 40% of the time, I now feel ready and able to face the future. That isn't too bad and I am working on the other 60%. I have to do a lot of work on myself though, my self esteem has taken a battering and I need to believe that there is someone who may, in the future, appreciate what I have to offer. I want to spend time getting my confidence back and keeping the children safe and happy first obviously.

I would, however, like to find out if there is a support group in Munster (preferrably Cork), where separated/divorced people meet up as I know I would benefit from hearing other people talk about how they are coping or how indeed they did cope during this difficult time.

DOES ANYONE KNOW OF ANY SEPARATED/DIVORCED persons group?????

Anyway Oscar's mum, stay strong, mind your mental health and take care of yourself physically too. Distractions are needed to prevent you from dwelling on the break up, so meet up with friends and family, join a club, spend time with the kids and perhaps you can keep in touch!

Ickle Magoo

Hey there Tweelan,

I appreciate you posted in response to another thread/poster - as your post contained a lot of info on you and a request for information on support groups, I've given you your own thread in the hope you get some answers.

All the very best. :cool:

Oscars Mum

Thank you so much for this.... Especially today as I've had a really tough time this week. <Mod Snip: please take some time to read our charter, there are somethings that are not permitted here>.