Wife was out, i got jealous...

LegacyUser

hi all, going unreg for this. OK so a little background. Many moons ago I was in a very committed relationship. I was engaged to a girl and we thought all was great in the world. Then cracks appeard and she one day said she was heading of with the girls from work for a night out.

No worries i said and was happy enough to hook up with a few mates for a few beers etc..
she came home the next day proclaiming a night at a friends house and all good. A few days later i was told she slept with a bloke at work and was not with the girls at all. I was crushed, Never felt so betrayed. I broke it off then and there and moved away.

fast forward a good number of years and I am married to a wonderful wife, one of the most beautiful women i have ever met in more than just looks. We have two amazing kids and we have a fantastic married life. In fact married life is dam near perfect with us both working but even though we have the odd blip things a just amazing.

She went out with the girls on Friday night. All good, came home at 4am.. no worries, then said she was dancing with a gay friend from work, cool again no worries, then said some 24 year old was chatting her up.........

for some reason this really got to me and has made me jealous. thats really pissing me off to be honest. i did have trust issues at the start of us but I worked really hard to get past them and trust my wife 100% but every now and again i get this doubt that she just might do the same even though i know in my heart she would never ever sleep with another man behind my back.

My question is this. What can i do to get rid of this demon as I really do not like the feeling and it does effect my mood and my wife can tell and even brought it up yesterday.

I do not want to let this affect my marriage in any way at all ( by the way we are as solid as a rock, I just do not want it to grow etc...)

cheers

CaraMay

You just remember that your wife is not your ex. Maybe talk to your wife about it - not in a 'don't go out again and dance with men' way but just tell her you are feeling a little bit jealous. It happens to us all do it won't have any negative impact in your marriage to chat to her about it. Then as Garth Brooke might say, think about your wife and thank god 'for unanswered prayers'!!!

Abi

Have you ever told your wife what happened to you prior to your marriage?

You say yourself your marriage is pretty much perfect, it sounds to me like you've nothing to worry about. Shes a mom of two kids, she's entitled to let her hair down as you are.

She said she was chatted up a bit, but that doesn't mean she would ever do anything about it. She was probably just a bit flattered by it and meant no harm by telling you what had happened.

I'm sure if you sit her down and tell her how it made you feel she'd be able to reassure you that there was nothing at all to it.

Women like to be reminded they're still attractive, and even more so if they're a mother. Half the time they feel the total opposite, feeling exhausted and all kinds of anxieties about their appearance. Like I said, she was probably just a bit humoured by being chatted up a bit.

Have a talk with her

Idbatterim

honestly mate if this is a once in a blue moon thing, id just leave it!

Mr Bump

It would be hard for anyone to let that feeling go, but to be fair to your wife she came come and told you everything, thats shows how strong her feelings are for you and how solid she feels the relationship is that she can tell you everything that happended that night,
If this is really a hard thing for you to deal with, tell your wife and go seek help in therapy or something like that, I am sure she will support you if you are both that tight,

castle

I don't believe a person can be trusted 100% maybe 99% ,people are only human and it is natural to want to try something diffenent that the way we made, I have heard many times throughout my life people saying they never would cheap etc but you add in drinks ,dancing pressure from friends it is possible.
But anyway there is no way you can change your natural way of been jealous is ok as this is you, you just need to accept that it is normal to be jealous but as longs as you talk to your wife about it she will understand.