Hi! My name's Choco and I'm on a mission to....

AskMyChocolate

...kick the face off the next smug, perky, self-satisfied condescending cnut who's "on a mission" to tell me what I'm doing wrong with my life.

I call on every person who's too fat, too thin, too sweaty, not sweaty enough, too untidy, too tidy etc.; to join with me and get these pr1cks off our television screens.

Let's get back to putting entertainment on television.

I'm personally willing to shove the tin-foil tray that my curry chips came in, so far up Richard Corrigan's annoying hole, that he'll understand the origins of the humble potato! :mad:

Sorry about that fellow Boardsies, but I needed to say it.:o

Choco

Sinfonia

I agree. "On a mission" has got to go. "Go on! <partake in ridiculous activity such as shaking tic tacs>" was popular for a while there too.

Sofiztikated

They're not even confined to TV.

There's not a week goes past that I don't get a comment, usually in work, from random strangers, "Oh, god, you're desperate thin," or something to that effect.

G'way and fúck youself. I've been the same weight, ish, since I was 16. I'm now 29. If I came up to you, random person, and started saying, "Jaysus, you're a touch heavy," or "Put down the fúcking fork", they'd be dead offended. But because I'm not tubby, seemingly I'm fair game.

Where To

Choco, you're problem is you are too angry. Let me spend some time with you, I'll mellow you a bit.:)

Boombastic

How clean is your house?

bizmark

well said sadly its infecting the government aswell they know' much more about what to eat when to exercise and what to buy that your stupid dumb self.

Which is very scary

harney

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

...kick the face off the next smug, perky, self-satisfied condescending cnut who's "on a mission" to tell me what I'm doing wrong with my life.

I call on every person who's too fat, too thin, too sweaty, not sweaty enough, too untidy, too tidy etc.; to join with me and get these pr1cks off our television screens.

Let's get back to putting entertainment on television.

I'm personally willing to shove the tin-foil tray that my curry chips came in, so far up Richard Corrigan's annoying hole, that he'll understand the origins of the humble potato! :mad:

Sorry about that fellow Boardsies, but I needed to say it.:o

Choco

OK, I've had a quick google and I don't get it. He's an Irish chef, who looks a bit pudgy. What am I missing? Is he not sweaty enough for a tubby person?

AskMyChocolate

Where To wrote: »

Choco, you're problem is you are too angry. Let me spend some time with you, I'll mellow you a bit.:)

Boombastic wrote: »

How clean is your house?

Ye can clean me fcuking house, then I'll be like George Harrison giving ye a back-rub.:pac:

AskMyChocolate

harney wrote: »

OK, I've had a quick google and I don't get it. He's an Irish chef, who looks a bit pudgy. What am I missing? Is he not sweaty enough for a tubby person?

Watch one or two episodes of "Corrigan knows food" and then come back to me.

I'll try to get you to put the rifle down.

"I have him in my sights."

"It's not worth it man. Don't ruin your own life. Just put the rifle down."

"I had him. He was there for the taking."

"I know man. I know. Don't think I don't feel it too."

Ruudi_Mentari

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

...kick the face off the next smug, perky, self-satisfied condescending cnut

Just these, will do me.

Show them a different form of humility for me cos mine failed, thanks.

AskMyChocolate

Where To wrote: »

Choco, you're problem is you are too angry. Let me spend some time with you, I'll mellow you a bit.:)

"Hi! My name's Choco, and I'm on a mission to find out if Taxi-Drivers are really....."

"Get out of me cab Choco...No, I don't want your reasons. Just get out of me cab.":pac:

LiamMc

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

...kick the face off the next smug, perky, self-satisfied condescending cnut who's "on a mission" to tell me what I'm doing wrong with my life.

I call on every person who's too fat, too thin, too sweaty, not sweaty enough, too untidy, too tidy etc.; to join with me and get these pr1cks off our television screens.

Let's get back to putting entertainment on television.

I'm personally willing to shove the tin-foil tray that my curry chips came in, so far up Richard Corrigan's annoying hole, that he'll understand the origins of the humble potato! :mad:

Sorry about that fellow Boardsies, but I needed to say it.:o

Choco

Don't mess with my TUTU

FanadMan

I get the exact same from my local barman every time I order a pint, smokes or crisps. Really feel like hitting him at times

Scruffles

just get rid of the tv,it saves on sht programming and a tv licence,smashed mine a few years ago and never got a new one since.

speaking of missions,am now on a mission to reach the bottle of pepsi...which is so inconveniently placed at the opposite side of this room.

Czarcasm

Why couldn't Choco be on a mission to Mars... bar!

Sofiztikated

Scruffles wrote: »

just get rid of the tv,it saves on sht programming and a tv licence,smashed mine a few years ago and never got a new one since.

speaking of missions,am now on a mission to reach the bottle of pepsi...which is so inconveniently placed at the opposite side of this room.

Did you get your Pepsi?

D'ya know who gets on my ****íng tits? Yon Gillian McKeith wan. I know, everyone's seen the thing comparing her to Nigella Lawson, but it's true.

Yer wan McKeith eats seeds, and looks at poop, and looks like something that was rejected from the Evil Dead films.

Whereas Lawson, she loves cake, has a healthy figure, and I'd smash the granny outta her.

Sunnyisland

Was told last night I am looking well....Looks like you have lost a few pounds they said..






My secret I bought bigger shirts :-)

AskMyChocolate

Czarcasm wrote: »

Why couldn't Choco be on a mission to Mars... bar!

Aah me man! Y'wouldn't really send me to Mars would'ya?

Btw, I should really have added a poll. It's possible that there are other people out there who find somebody even more annoying than Richard Corrigan. I've never watched the weight loss programmes, but, there's also Rachel Allen.

Grrrr.:mad:

Bad Santa

Chocolate is bad for you.

Pumpkinseeds

Bad Santa wrote: »

Chocolate is bad for you.

Not dark chocolate, dark chocolate is good for you and I'm not gonna be told otherwise. I refuse to step away from my dark chocolate, at least not til lent, then I give up all junk til Easter to save a few quid, drop a few pounds then put it all on during Easter:(

BBDBB

Im on a sofa








doesnt quite have the same punch does it

Zebra3

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

Richard Corigan

Who is he?

Capt'n Midnight

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZ2-9GdJgqc

AskMyChocolate

Boombastic wrote: »

How clean is your house?

Oh Jesus, don't get me started!

If you'd like the place to be clean, then clean it. If you wouldn't then don't.

I swear to God, if I ever find the people who came up with this "programme" and I won't be held responsible for my actions.

Itwasntme.

Choco,

I apologise in advance for hijacking your thread with a completely irrelevant post.

I didn't want to start a thread about this but I would like to take this opportunity to complain about the zombie nature of the nocturnal forum. There's never anyone there!! I am very disappointed. That is all.

Boombastic

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

Oh Jesus, don't get me started!

If you'd like the place to be clean, then clean it. If you wouldn't then don't.

I swear to God, if I ever find the people who came up with this "programme" and I won't be held responsible for my actions.

Hows does that make you feel? By the way lets throw out all your clothes-none of them suit you. Here's a nice drab brown corduroy jacket and some hideous slacks to wear....oh they really suit you, you're dapper now:D

And where is my George Harrisonesque stylebBack-rub, you need to sort out you time management?:mad:





:pac:

Czarcasm

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

Aah me man! Y'wouldn't really send me to Mars would'ya?

Btw, I should really have added a poll. It's possible that there are other people out there who find somebody even more annoying than Richard Corrigan. I've never watched the weight loss programmes, but, there's also Rachel Allen.

Grrrr.:mad:

"Operation Transformation", they don't come much more patronising than that crowd! :mad:

OneArt

Does this mean we can rid the world of Gillian McKeith?

If so I'm on board. Let's force feed her Nigella Lawson's cakes.

bnt

This always happens this time of year:

• December: Christmas is coming. Eat, drink and be merry, forget your troubles until next year.
• January: your life is a mess. Lose weight, re-organise your thoughts, align your goals and plan your life.

It's almost over, Until next year.

* don't get me started on that load of horse feathers.

AskMyChocolate

Boombastic wrote: »

Hows does that make you feel? By the way lets throw out all your clothes-none of them suit you. Here's a nice drab brown corduroy jacket and some hideous slacks to wear....oh they really suit you, you're dapper now:D

And where is my George Harrisonesque stylebBack-rub, you need to sort out you time management?:mad:





:pac:

Jaysus, I'd forgotten about the Style cnuts. Maybe me brain shut them out.


Lisa : "I dunno Bart, Dad looks pretty mad. Maybe we should try to calm him down."

Bart : "Meh. I prefer to enrage him further. Have they played the movie yet Dad?"

AskMyChocolate

Czarcasm wrote: »

"Operation Transformation", they don't come much more patronising than that crowd! :mad:

So, folks, re-arrange these letters to come up with a description of the people who host this show.

Shower of cnuts.

"It's a little tricky this week, so I'll give ye a clue; the "n" and the "u" might be transposed. I'm Marty Whelan, ye've been a great audience. Goodnight."

AskMyChocolate

OneArt wrote: »

Does this mean we can rid the world of Gillian McKeith?

If so I'm on board. Let's force feed her Nigella Lawson's cakes.

I actually have no idea who the woman is, but my spidey senses are telling me she's an appalling cnut.

Boombastic

AskMyChocolate wrote: »

I actually have no idea who the woman is, but my spidey senses are telling me she's an appalling cnut.

She's the one who examines your sh1t and tells you your not eating properly:eek:

Czarcasm

Boombastic wrote: »

She's the one who examines your sh1t and tells you your not eating properly:eek:

I just came up with the name for her next series-

"Ask My Chocolate!" :pac:


/grabs coat, lunchbox, exits