Bored during my 20's

LegacyUser

Being in your 20's is meant to be the most exciting part of your life but I just don't feel that way at all. I'm in college and I've only got a couple of friends there despite being nearly finished. I'd only see them at lectures and random (infrequent) nights out. Sometimes at lectures I couldn't even be bothered talking to the people I like. Outside of college I've 5 or 6 friends that I'd only ever see on (some) weekends. This has led me to being extremely bored nearly all the time, mainly during the week.

I'm not sure what other people my age get up to because I don't have a huge network of people that I interact with, but I'm fairly sure similar aged people live way more exciting lives than myself. I don't know if I feel bored all the time because my own life is actually boring, or because I've this idea in my head of what other people my age should be doing - which in my mind involves even simple things like seeing people you get on with every day, talking to them, going for coffee, dating a few different people etc etc. I do none of this and it kind of gets you down when you can't even have as good/exciting a life as the next person. I'm just looking for advice on ways to stop being so bored or experiences of other people my age to see what their lives involve for excitement. Thanks

Did you mam ever tell you that only boring people get bored?

Well, it's kind of true. If you're finding your twenties boring, then do something to change it. You need to make the effort, you can't 'not bother' talking to people in lectures and then complain that you're bored! Other people have exciting social lives because they invite their classmates for coffee, arrange evenings out on Facebook, go to societies/clubs....there's SO much to do in college and so many people to meet. Don't waste this time because you'll never get it back.

Sleepy

I can imagine that college would be pretty boring if you never got involved with any clubs or societies tbh. 90% of the fun life experiences I had in college stemmed from being involved with societies. Most of the people I met were through them and hence most of the girls I dated were met through them. Part-time jobs accounted for most of the rest: working ****ty jobs for minimum wage together has a tendency to help form bonds between students and what student isn't up for a couple of pints at the drop of a hat?

Do you live at home OP? I did during college and have often thought that if I hadn't been involved in societies in college I'd have met very few people from outside the social circle I grew up in. Living in shared accommodation should usually result in an instant increase in your social circles once you're living with other students your own age.

The good stuff in life doesn't just happen for most of us, we have to instigate it. Suggest going for coffee after lectures with some of the people you get on with. Get on to your class rep to organise a session, organise a staff night out in your workplace etc. Be the guy that suggests pints at 2 in the afternoon and you'll be unlucky to find yourself drinking alone

LegacyUser

Hi Op,


I completely understand where you are coming from.


While in school I had a large group of freinds that I was extremely close to, we would see each other after school and would spend every hr of the weekend with them.

After school I went onto college where I felt I didn't really click with anyone on my course, so basically everyone on my course went to college done what they had to do, no socializing what so ever. Kind of regret now not making a bit more effort.


Around this time most of friends where in serious relationships, including myself, some of my close freinds where either always busy with work, busy with their boyfriends or busy been pregnant


I split with my boyfriend mid last year, and it was tough. I felt like I had no one except for my mam and brother.

I realized in that time that most people are so busy caught up in their on lives that they don't have time for others. I don't think it's intentionally I think it's just about growing up and having their own life.


I think the majority of people in their mid 20's are either working,college, boyfriends/girlfriends and don't have time to be always "hanging out"


After the breakup I was like yourself, extremely board all the time, and been heartbroken didn't help either.

The more I sat around doing nothing the more board I was. I eventually picked myself back up, went part time to full time in my job (my job is boring as hell but it pays), I joined a gym and started to go in the evenings to kick the boredom, the weekends rather the spending it in bed like I use to I get up and go for a run. Rather then waiting for my friends to call or text me, I would do the calling and texting and try to arrange as much lunches, coffee dates, cinema dates and nights out as could.

I will see a few freinds most weekends for a coffee,lunch, cinema and go out drinking once or twice a month.


This time last year I wanted someone to be with me hanging out 24/7 now I actually enjoy having "me time" to work out, wtach films, chill, go window shopping, and it means I look forward to seeing my freinds when I do.


My advice for you would be to join a class, take up a hobby, start a new book there is loads of things out there that kill boredom. Try arrange more nights out lunch dates with your friends, make more of an effort with the people in college - what have you got to lose.

Don't think about what you "could" be doing with yourself and actually go do it instead.