Confusion :(

brownstone

Need advice on a situation.

After going out for almost a year of happiness, things end. It wasn't mutual. We were really happy and things were great, we got on so well, the odd argument but nothing serious, we enjoyed spending time together, we got really close and things really were great. We both are in college, living maybe 3 hours apart but that didn't bother either of us because we met up at weekends and had such a great time.

Then, a few weeks ago, he broke up with me, siting the reason as timing. That he didn't want this sort of commitment too soon and he wasn't ready to put in the work and effort for a long term relationship. I cried and cried, hoping he'd see sense. He wanted to comfort me, to hug me and hold my hand, I let him even though I knew how much it would hurt. The next day, we spoke about old times and he said he was wrong, he asked me back. We got back together. I don't think I was ever so relieved.

A few days passed. Things were grand for the first few days then they took a turn for the worst. He ended it again, over the phone this time. He was adement the timing was wrong, commitment. This time I knew he was serious. He says he loves me, and I'm potentially the person he wants to spend his life with but he doesn't want a relationship right now.

Another few days past, and we had previously planned to meet up today while we were still together so we said okay, lets. I wasn't sure if it was a good or bad idea. We met up, hugged. Sat on his bed. And we kissed. We spent the afternoon acting like a couple,kissing, hugging, lying together, holding hands, yet all the time he was determined it was still over. I cried so much and tried to make him see that it was obvious to me that we should be together, like he acts like we are still together, text, phone calls and then what happened today.

I asked was there any hope for us, he says I don't know. Neither of us want each other to meet other people, we both said it.

I don't know what to think or do? I'm so upset and confused. I love him so much and neither of us want to cut contact at the very least. Does he love me? Why doesn't he want to be with me? Please help

marble

Seems to me that he doesn't want to be with you,but doesn't want anyone else to be with you either.sometimes its hard to let go even when you're the one who ended it.

sffc

brownstone wrote: »

Need advice on a situation.

After going out for almost a year of happiness, things end. It wasn't mutual. We were really happy and things were great, we got on so well, the odd argument but nothing serious, we enjoyed spending time together, we got really close and things really were great. We both are in college, living maybe 3 hours apart but that didn't bother either of us because we met up at weekends and had such a great time.

Then, a few weeks ago, he broke up with me, siting the reason as timing. That he didn't want this sort of commitment too soon and he wasn't ready to put in the work and effort for a long term relationship. I cried and cried, hoping he'd see sense. He wanted to comfort me, to hug me and hold my hand, I let him even though I knew how much it would hurt. The next day, we spoke about old times and he said he was wrong, he asked me back. We got back together. I don't think I was ever so relieved.

A few days passed. Things were grand for the first few days then they took a turn for the worst. He ended it again, over the phone this time. He was adement the timing was wrong, commitment. This time I knew he was serious. He says he loves me, and I'm potentially the person he wants to spend his life with but he doesn't want a relationship right now.

Another few days past, and we had previously planned to meet up today while we were still together so we said okay, lets. I wasn't sure if it was a good or bad idea. We met up, hugged. Sat on his bed. And we kissed. We spent the afternoon acting like a couple,kissing, hugging, lying together, holding hands, yet all the time he was determined it was still over. I cried so much and tried to make him see that it was obvious to me that we should be together, like he acts like we are still together, text, phone calls and then what happened today.

I asked was there any hope for us, he says I don't know. Neither of us want each other to meet other people, we both said it.



I don't know what to think or do? I'm so upset and confused. I love him so much and neither of us want to cut contact at the very least. Does he love me? Why doesn't he want to be with me? Please help

Make a clean break and let him go. He hasn't got the guts to do it so you'll have to. One more thing - the way two people can view a relationship can be wildly different. If it was all so perfect this wouldn't be happening.

2rkehij30qtza5

It seems it's over OP. You now need to make the break too. No more meeting up and acting couply when he is very clear in what he is saying (even though he did what he did today, he still said he doesn't want a relationship).

Maybe it is all about timing but at the end of the day, the relationship is over now and you need to move on and not harbour feelings of 'maybe we will get back togerher'.

While breaking up with someone is really hard, and almost like a bereavement in ways as you lose someone very close to you, I think step 1 for you is to acknowledge its over, be strong and promise yourself that you will make a clean break.

Promise yourself that you will go out this week with your friends and start a new life sans ex-boyfriend. No more meet-ups, hold your head high and you will get through it. Good luck, I know it's hard but better to break up now than down the line when you have put more time and effort into a relationship that was unlikely to last.