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seperated but still living together

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  • 26-01-2013 3:51pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    hi, not looking for legal advice, just wondering if anyone else is seperated and living together and how you manage. its not the best set up but the recession isnt allowing us to move on with our lives. just wondering how you deal with the cost of living, should i still be paying all the bills as i always have done?


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    #2
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Hey there,

    Without any court orders, judicial separation or separation deed/agreement there really is no "should"...it's between yourself, your partner and your creditors. Of course, if there are kids involved then it's very likely that withdrawing support is not going to be viewed favourably so it also depends a lot on your specific circumstances.

    If your separation is reasonably amicable then it would be worth sitting down and trying to thrash out a compromise on how best you can move forward given you have to live under the same roof...if not, perhaps mediation would be worth a try? I would recommend you get legal advice before doing anything, just so you know where you stand and what your options are.

    All the very best.


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    #3
    ZENER
    Registered Users Posts: 6,163 ✭✭✭ZENER


    It's not an ideal situation to be in. I've been there. But I was working and my ex wasn't, I have 2 kids so I felt it was my duty to continue supporting. In fairness my ex was still doing all the things she had been doing up till our separation, looking after our children while I went to work, etc. We cohabited for about 8 months before I left. If your ex is earning then it would be fair to expect her to tow the line in my opinion. If you have a similar situation to mine then consider my course of action. In my case I managed to clear off all loans leaving only the mortgage, then I moved out.

    These are difficult times so your situation most likely differ to mine. There's no legal requirement for you to move out, if ye can come to an agreement re bills etc. then so long as your paying your share and you're still named on the mortgage/deeds to the house you are entitled to live there.

    All the above is purely practical, emotionally it's not easy and in some circumstances damn near impossible. In my case I endured daily outbursts and silence and feeling I didn't belong there. The end result is that we are still on friendly terms and talk regularly.

    Every situation is different, and the reasons for separation vary so my experience may be polar opposite to yours. I hope you find some peace and things work out for you.

    Ken


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    #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks for the replies, and Ken its not easy at all and like you said "All the above is purely practical, emotionally it's not easy and in some circumstances damn near impossible. In my case I endured daily outbursts and silence and feeling I didn't belong there" this is exactly how i feel.
    we're far from amicable, its just snide remarks and regular outburst, a life of misery. i am expected to pay all the bills and for any repairs or services that need to be carried out, yet i have to do my own weekly shop. life is far from happy at the minute. i am also planning on seeking legal advice.


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