Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Getting someone out of your head that you like

  • 25-01-2013 5:06pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    It seems that every time I begin to like someone, they just dominate my thoughts and its really getting me down. The most recent example happened a week or so ago. I came to the realization that I really like a friend of mine who's in a relationship. I'm 90% sure they like me back, but the fact their in a relationship means its a no go area. My problem is now that I've came to this realization, I can't get the person from my mind. I can't sleep, eat and don't feel like leaving the house or doing anything. I'm just looking for help on 2 fundamental issues:

    1) Getting attached to people too easily
    2) Liking someone and not being able to get them out of your mind

    I still want to remain friends with this person but how do I see them as a friend again if they dominate my thoughts?


Comments

  • #2
    pastorbarrett
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 605 ✭✭✭pastorbarrett


    Well, I don't think it's unusual to find yourself preoccupied with another-it's a situation most of us find ourselves in from time to time. What matters is how we choose to engage with it, be it unrequited, unprofessional, or inappropriate as you say it is in this instance.

    You seem objective enough to know that sometimes these 'crushes' affect you adversely, or to an extent that affects your quality of life.

    Practically speaking, I can offer the following advice:

    -Go easy on yourself, OP. Don't unnecessarily contribute to any bad feeling that you may associate with fancying someone from afar. It happens, and reassure yourself that it will pass in time.

    -If you're curious or worried that you have difficulty in respect of attachment, speak to someone who is qualified (counsellor etc) to provide insight on these matters.

    As far the pressing issue of remaining friends, I'd encourage you do so and maintain the relationship as best you can. It might not be easy for now, but perhaps it's best not to jeopardize a friendship for romantic feelings that may prove to be temporary. If it proves too difficult to be around this person right now, maybe take a break from their company for a time- you don't have to disclose the real reason why.

    As I said, don't be hard on yourself, OP. Good luck :)


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    There must be something in the air because I feel the exact same way as you right now over a girl except shes not in a relationship and I just realized she doesn't like me. What I'm finding helpful is replacing her thoughts with thoughts of someone else. Its not a fix but it helps.


Advertisement