That kid that just hit your kid, well he's mine

Rabidlamb

Firstly I've 3 kids, 2 of which are good as gold but then there is the other one.

Typical behavior:
*Runs away in public areas
*Runs across the road without looking:eek:
*Throws food at the kitchen table
*Jumps into muck 10 seconds after being dressed
*Bites other kids in play areas
*Hits other kids in play areas
*Screams at full volume
*Breaks things for fun

I gave up counting how many times I had to apologise to other parents.
We'd done the removal of treats, naughty step, reward charts & even slapping but no joy.
It became unfair to spend 90% of our time on the one child so one of us stayed at home with him while the other 2 got to go on activities.

Well that was all until about 6 months ago, just after his 4th birthday.
It was like a light went on & a cloud was gradually lifted, a new attentive child was born.

Reason I mention any of this is I recently had my 40th birthday where my mother reminisced about my early years, I learned for the first time how she couldn't take me anywhere as I used to curse non-stop & hit strangers for fun.
I snapped out of it just before starting school apparently . . . Christ.

littlemissfixit

You can forgive them so much more so much easier when you know what you were like yourself!
My daughter is just over 2 and since she is 1 is so picky, will not try any new food, anything with different texture she will just spit right back out...
Well apparently her mother, yours truly, only ate porridge, spag bol and peanut butter sandwiches for a few years... Christ is right!

Heres just hoping she'll not be like me for too long!

Suucee

littlemissfixit wrote: »

You can forgive them so much more so much easier when you know what you were like yourself!
My daughter is just over 2 and since she is 1 is so picky, will not try any new food, anything with different texture she will just spit right back out...
Well apparently her mother, yours truly, only ate porridge, spag bol and peanut butter sandwiches for a few years... Christ is right!

Heres just hoping she'll not be like me for too long!

Hope my lo wont be like that at just under 9 months she would eat anything but her daddy is unbelievably fussy and wont try anything new. Just last week we were in my parents for dinner and he wouldnt eat turnip. Wouldnt even try it. Just pushed it to th side of his plate. Hows that going to look to her when she cops on that daddy's not eating his veggies. Its not just turnip pretty much every veg except brocolli.

dollybird2

My husband wont touch any fruit or veg and i dont eat meat.. so far my lo eats everything. Hope it stays tat way! God i hope she wont be as stubborn and bold as i was...

littlemissfixit

Not to discourage anyone, but my darling ate everything around her until she turned one, I thought I was landed but then turned to opposite
On the positive side, I myself now would try just about anything and im very healthy, so there's hope!

happywithlife

Have to say this thread made lol
Thanks for that ;-)
My 'darling' also went thru a phase where we had to be glued to him in a playground etc because of his misbehaviour
Thankfully for us though time out worked really well and I adopted a strategy that allowed me to use it outside the home as well which was great for when we were out and about. Got a few funny looks from other mums but rather that than he hit someone.

xzanti

Thank God someone else has said this

I gave up on outdoor playgrounds and just bring my 2 y/o to the indoor soft play centers because he's just too mad.. he runs straight for the swings when theirs kids swinging on them and nearly got a belt of one once :eek: only for the Mother saw him coming and grabbed the swing, child and all, in mid flight..

It's like he has no sense of danger

I'd see all the other little boys and girls just rambling around and taking their time on the play stuff but he's gone like a bat out of Hell... My poor nerves :P

happywithlife

xzanti
how old is he?
what worked for us was when doing 'time out' we used to say 'up against the wall' as opposed to using a naughty step/chair .. this meant when out and about we could do time out easily. god i remember putting him into time out in the play centre and at a playground and both times god terrible looks from mams .. don't think they'd have been too happy with the alternative though :cool:
simple but effective

wolfpawnat

My son is 4 in 3 weeks (where has the time gone) and he is an angel these days, but seriously, if you told me that 9 months ago I would have laughed. He was an angry baby (colicky), he still is a picky eater, never sat still and very tantrum-y.

But these days he only has a tantrum every so often now. I have noticed he has picked up some terrible habits from one boy in his pre-school, but I am trying to deal with that issue at the moment. Travel used be hell. I loathed it, and the horrible looks/comments from other passengers. We did a three and a half hour journey (plus cars and Luas's before and after) on Sunday, one 5 minute tantrum in the whole time, though if his nana is with us he is horrifically behaved, and usually is around her because she lets him away with it and it makes for a less desirable little man.

Even if you have a bad 3.5 years, it does get better. Now hopefully he will stay that way with no2 due in July.

xzanti

happywithlife wrote: »

xzanti
how old is he?
what worked for us was when doing 'time out' we used to say 'up against the wall' as opposed to using a naughty step/chair .. this meant when out and about we could do time out easily. god i remember putting him into time out in the play centre and at a playground and both times god terrible looks from mams .. don't think they'd have been too happy with the alternative though :cool:
simple but effective

Hey, thanks, he's just gone 2..

Yeah could try that alright, anythings worth a shot.. specially now with Summer on it's way

Hannibal Smith

last year during the chicken pox saga my son had been cooped up for 2 weeks...a friend called over with her kid and he ran around and on his way passed the daughter he hit her....it wasn't hard it was a kind of a tap on his way passed. I know I sound like one of those mums ..but he's not the violent sort...it was down to cabin fever lol

since then my friend has completely written us off...any time I asked if she wanted to meet up she declined with feeble excuse after excuse in fact that was the last time we saw them....so I just got rid of her number and thought stuff you

Melion

Well done OP for not rushing off and blaming ADHD or whatever the "Experts" are claiming is the problem with kids these days.

Oral Slang

How ridiculous Hannibal Smith. Kids will be kids & once parents are willing to discipline their children, that's good enough for me. My little one is only 15 months, but I'm sure it's all ahead of me. She's mad as a brush already & has terrible tantrums when she doesn't get her own way or can't manage to do something, so I'm expecting this sort of thing to happen anytime.

wolfpawnat

I laugh at these parents who go insane if their precious darling is so much as touched by another child, mainly because I have seen first hand their children turn into the worst terrors. You are better off with people like that out of your life Hannibal Smith

As you said Oral Slang, as long as a child is reprimanded, and told to apologise for intentional bad behaviour I am satisfied.

Hannibal Smith

that's the thing...I let them away with nothing..I always tell him to apologise...theyjjustst caught us on a bad day lol

anyhow...we live and learn lol

Rabidlamb

Most parents are forgiving & understand, you get the nod & know you're alright.

Occasionally though you get the over precious mother earth who gives you the death scowl of contempt cause their little Eva banged into your young fella.
Now apologising to these people only prolongs the stare of hatred so I find them better to ignore.
Typically these are parents with only one child.
Parents with multiple kids seem far more laid back as rough & tumble goes on everyday at home.

Frank Black

I've two nephews (different parents) who are 3 and 4 and are both mad in thier own ways.
One of them is pretty much let do whatever he likes. He's 3 and probably calmed down a bit in the last few months, but I used to dread him being brought around to our house.
I wouldn't class anything he does as 'bold', but he lives in a world where he's allowed to do pretty much anything.

I feel like banging this tennis racket off the walls really hard - 'no problem'.
Let's fill up a jug with water from the bathroom and pour it down the floorboards - 'yes, that does sound like fun'.
I like the sound a door makes when you slam it really loud - 'slam away'.

The other guy though is 4 and I think a bit more aware that what he's doing is bold. Caught him trying to 'mace' my kids with a can of Mr Sheen at the weekend.
He kicked my 5 year old in the head as well, but it's ok, he had a reason. Apparently she was 'in his face'.


Jesus!

Anyway, feels good to share.

wolfpawnat

I have found it is mostly boys who are rougher. But though most of it is unintentional at first a parents lack of discipline leads to worse and worse things. I come down hard on my guy for a repeat offence. Too many parents call me overstrict and mean, but my son is well behaved and is looking forward to his sibling when theirs are being asked to leave places and in one woman's case her son jumped on her and caused her to miscarriage. When I asked what were the repercussions, her response was "Oh he is only a child he didn't know" He was over 3 years old, he has some basic cop on!!!!

Parents, not the children are to blame.

Rabidlamb

wolfpawnat wrote: »

I have found it is mostly boys who are rougher. But though most of it is unintentional at first a parents lack of discipline leads to worse and worse things. I come down hard on my guy for a repeat offence. Too many parents call me overstrict and mean, but my son is well behaved and is looking forward to his sibling when theirs are being asked to leave places and in one woman's case her son jumped on her and caused her to miscarriage. When I asked what were the repercussions, her response was "Oh he is only a child he didn't know" He was over 3 years old, he has some basic cop on!!!!

Parents, not the children are to blame.

I came down on my young lad like Guantanamo Bay & he still came back laughing at me.
Some kids are just wired that way, you can just bet a bad one.
Both siblings are angels & they received the same disciplinary procedures.

The fact your child responded well to discipline meant he was never 100% hardcore trouble.
As I said in the OP, our guy was so bad we had to give up & just leave him at home, age eventually copped him on, it was none of our doing.

wolfpawnat

Rabidlamb wrote: »

I came down on my young lad like Guantanamo Bay & he still came back laughing at me.
Some kids are just wired that way, you can just bet a bad one.
Both siblings are angels & they received the same disciplinary procedures.

The fact your child responded well to discipline meant he was never 100% hardcore trouble.
As I said in the OP, our guy was so bad we had to give up & just leave him at home, age eventually copped him on, it was none of our doing.

You seem to have misinterpreted me OP. I was not saying you are a bad parent, you clearly tried and with 2 others well behaved it was not you at fault, some kids are just more "spirited" than others. I was referring to the mothers who are their children's friends not parents.

It took nearly a year, heartache, tears and tantrums to get my fella out of his worst stages too, and part of me thinks it was only due to age in the end, that copped him on.

Rabidlamb

wolfpawnat wrote: »

You seem to have misinterpreted me OP. I was not saying you are a bad parent, you clearly tried and with 2 others well behaved it was not you at fault, some kids are just more "spirited" than others. I was referring to the mothers who are their children's friends not parents.

It took nearly a year, heartache, tears and tantrums to get my fella out of his worst stages too, and part of me thinks it was only due to age in the end, that copped him on.

Well good luck on the sibling, you'll never get 2 the same, next one will probably be introverted by comparison.
It all seems to shake out in the end.

cazza1981

We go to a toddler group twice a week. Last week my little girl got slapped in the face by a little boy. A fine red hand print in the side of her face, was well pissed off the parent never got the child to apologise.

About hour later my little one pulled a little girls hair and I got her to apologise to the little girl, why don't parents make their kids know when they do wrong?