Who are you really?

hubba

Great article by the always interesting Sober Paddy.

http://soberpaddy.com/how-we-confuse-drink-and-drugs-with-self-expression-and-confidence/

What he says is so true, only when you are truly sober do you learn who you are (IMO). You might say but I only spend x% of my time drinking and surely the rest of the time I am the 'real me' but I don't think you are. Other non-drinkers, please feel free to help me here, but it's as if the blinkers are suddenly taken off when you quit. You realise that you don't know who you really are and need to explore that over time and truly discover yourself.

It's as if, when you are a drinker, you follow the sheep with regards to life and what you 'should' enjoy, what you 'should' spend your time doing and with whom. When you quit you suddenly see all that for what it is, fake. Not you at all. And you start to learn to accept and enjoy this newly discovered true self, even the parts you wanted to hide before, and learn to cope with those things that may have caused you anxiety or sadness in the past.

I've found the whole experience very exciting and often feel like a kid on an adventure, discovering lots of new things for the first time, but this time I know they are real and forever.

Has anyone else had this experience?

hubba

hubba wrote: »

Great article by the always interesting Sober Paddy.

http://soberpaddy.com/how-we-confuse-drink-and-drugs-with-self-expression-and-confidence/

What he says is so true, only when you are truly sober do you learn who you are (IMO). You might say but I only spend x% of my time drinking and surely the rest of the time I am the 'real me' but I don't think you are. Other non-drinkers, please feel free to help me here, but it's as if the blinkers are suddenly taken off when you quit. You realise that you don't know who you really are and need to explore that over time and truly discover yourself.

It's as if, when you are a drinker, you follow the sheep with regards to life and what you 'should' enjoy, what you 'should' spend your time doing and with whom. When you quit you suddenly see all that for what it is, fake. Not you at all. And you start to learn to accept and enjoy this newly discovered true self, even the parts you wanted to hide before, and learn to cope with those things that may have caused you anxiety or sadness in the past.

I've found the whole experience very exciting and often feel like a kid on an adventure, discovering lots of new things for the first time, but this time I know they are real and forever.

Has anyone else had this experience?

Yes I did actually. During my boozing I was forever trying to be someone I wasn't through getting overly drunk to be the clown at the centre of attention, doing drugs I didn't want to necessarily do but did because other people were doing them, gambling like a "big shot" when I didn't have a pot to piss in and my general behaviour had me full of grim regret the next morning on almost every occasion. I knew what it was doing from near the very start but I didn't care as I started to prefer being the person that other people wanted me to be. From my own experience I grew up with people drinking in most aspects of my life, dealing with general problems when I started drinking was done by going to pub as I watched both my parents doing it. Then when the pub stopped working as my behaviour worsened over a fews years I took to drinking at home. Then you become totally lost in isolation and you don't who you are. You just don't see a way of stopping and you don't see how you can go on like you have been doing but I got lucky.

Now I enjoy life. It can be tough at times yeah but it has gotten so much easier the longer I've not been drinking. You find that the longer you are off it lengthens the gaps between when it is tough and when times are good. I am also beginning to find out who I am and I stick to doing things that I want to do while trying to not be too selfish in my approach as that also got me to where I am too! In general though I am proud of the person I am today and I am starting to understand myself a lot more because I am sober, I could never say that when I was drinking. I didn't have a ****ing clue where I was going at all, I just jumped on the ride while always hoping for the best while insanely repeating the process over and over again with the same results. I tried giving up so many times but instead of wanting to give up what I did was I wanted to change, which has worked.

xzanti

I agree 100%, and as you said, I didn't spend my whole week drinking, just the weekends, but that was enough to skew my sense of self, for want of a better way to put it..

I'm only beginning to scratch the surface of the potential that the 'New Me' has

What I found within a very short period was that I can now tap into my own source of inner happiness more readily than before.. and some times I can almost feel that elation that a drink would once bring me, but without the fuzzy drunk feeling.. and I've come to realise that, before, I wasn't feeling happy because I had a drink in my hand, I was feeling happy in spite of the fact..

I find joy in doing the littlest of things now.. and the 'Me' money that I once would have spent on that Saturday night bottle of wine, or a night out on the drink with the girls is now spent on little gifts for myself like some flowers, a little piece of jewelry that takes my fancy, a nice smelly candle etc.. I'm finding new ways to treat myself at the weekends in other words.. and I love that I'm spending it on ME.. and not wasting it.

I could go on and on about how much I love my life now but I'll leave it at that for now

Happy Sunday everyone.

Ando's Saggy Bottom

Yup for me its about realising potential that i never could while I was on the beer every weekend.

Since I stopped I've learned to drive, got a First Class Honours Masters, gotten engaged, have started going to a counsellor and making real progress with my personal issues and have been approved for a mortgage. No way I'd have done any of this if I was still drinking. And none of that compares to how much healthier I am and how much better I feel about myself. I'm a more honest and reliable person and I really do agree with the OP that I'm only now finding out who I really am, and liking that guy too.