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Marriage proposal idea..... need opinions please

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  • 21-01-2013 5:52pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 5


    My gf and I are together now for quite a number of years, and we have a young child, and one on the way. Marriage has never been a priority for either of us - kids have always been top of the list. But I think it's time to finally get off my ass and pop the question. So here's my idea....

    I have a ring picked out and set aside in a local jewellers. It's one that she jokingly picked out last year, and said if I was ever to buy a ring, that would be it. It will be December 2013 by the time I have it fully paid for. Our 2nd child is due in early September, and I'm *hoping* that we can have the christening the weekend before Christmas. My best mate will be the godfather and will be flying in for it. Her sister will be godmother, and all her family and best friends will be there too, as well as my own family. Both of the kids will have my surmame, so I'm thinking while we are on the altar, after the christening is finished, and while photos are being taken - I'll go for it then! Drop down on my knee, and say something about the fact the her name is different to ours, and I want to make us the one family under the same name. I'm sure it will come out a whole lot more romantic than I'm explaining it here!

    Anyway, bad idea, or good idea, I really need opinions please. If it sounds too cringworthy, then I might go down another route.

    Thanks.


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 24,196 ✭✭✭✭Sleepy


    Or, since you'll have the entire family and friends assembled in the church already, why not propose to her before then and arrange for the priest to marry you directly after the Christening. Have a surprise wedding!


  • Registered Users Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    Sleepy wrote: »
    Have a surprise wedding!
    Could work out really, really badly. A lot of people like the build-up to the wedding, the hen, the stag, the dress shopping and all that.

    While it may appear romantic and spontaneous, behind it all both she and her mother might seethe that she didn't get to plan a nice wedding and instead it was just bolted on to the christening.

    FWIW, I think the OP's idea is very good. When it comes to proposals, I don't think you can ever be too cheesy or cringey. You know her best, but proposals where you really put yourself out there in public tend to go down really well.

    You'll need some planning though to ensure you get the opportunity. Speeches are not usually commonplace at a christening, and you may not be the only people at the christening (many churches do a few christenings at the same time).


  • Registered Users Posts: 489 ✭✭WaltKowalski


    I think your proposal idea is fabulous!
    Everyone can share in the excitement.
    Pity you have to wait so long for it!


  • Registered Users Posts: 420 ✭✭grind gremlin




  • Registered Users Posts: 1,371 ✭✭✭john_cappa


    Bad idea personally. Why do you need the crowd looking on?

    Also what if she gets a shock and doesnt say yes straight away as she panics?

    What if you cant get out what you want to say as there is so much pressure from the crowd?

    Alot could go wrong. I would propose in private and make it special for the two of you rather than trying to do a grand movie scene proposal.


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  • Posts: 0 [Deleted User]


    Bring her to disney land and do it when Jaws comes out of the water !


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,981 ✭✭✭ElleEm


    I think public proposals are a bit cringey, and a bit "try hard", but you know your girlfriend the best- would she enjoy all the attention/ people looking on? Would she be okay with the attention bein taken away from your baby being christened? The day will be less about that and more about the engagement then.

    Depending on the church, there may be other christenings on at the same time. You would obviously have to liaise with the priest about this, and check if the plan is okay.


  • Registered Users Posts: 81,310 CMod ✭✭✭✭coffee_cake


    Christenings often have a group of families taking turns at it, so it may be very inappropriate. She may also not like having that in public, I know I wouldn't - that's something only you'd know though. Perhaps you can propose beforehand and break the news when you're having a meal or something with the family after the christening.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    Congrats on your pregnancy. Not a fan of the public proposal either here. Propose in private before christmas and have a celebration when people are home. Stealing baby's thunder etc.

    Church alter is a bit of an odd place to propose as well. Pick someplace else maybe.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,154 ✭✭✭Dolbert


    seamus wrote: »
    Could work out really, really badly. A lot of people like the build-up to the wedding, the hen, the stag, the dress shopping and all that.

    While it may appear romantic and spontaneous, behind it all both she and her mother might seethe that she didn't get to plan a nice wedding and instead it was just bolted on to the christening.

    I assumed he meant it would be a surprise for the guests, not the bride!


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  • Registered Users Posts: 2,379 ✭✭✭pooch90


    I think it sounds lovely. I presume that if they've 2 kids together, he'll know her well enough to know if she would hate it.
    If it's a private christening (ie only your child on the day) then go for it! Just ok it with the priest beforehand maybe.


  • Registered Users Posts: 26,358 ✭✭✭✭Peregrinus


    Dolbert wrote: »
    I assumed he meant it would be a surprise for the guests, not the bride!
    It can't really be a surprise for the bride. Both spouses need to give three months' notice of their intention to marry to the registrar of marriages.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5 ysktnfro


    Thanks everyone for your responses. There's no worry that she won't say yes - I can pretty much guarantee that she will say yes! And the family and friends looking on won't add any pressure for me at all; if anything, it will make it more special. Each of them have been with us every step along the way. We've been together now for almost 10 years, and with 2 kids, everyone is expecting the next step to come soon enough.

    She would be traditional, so she would need time to plan for a wedding, so I don't think we would bolt on a wedding to the christening! The engagement on the same day as my child's christening would be pretty much a way of concreting us as a family, and to express my intention to have us all under the one name, like we should be (She doesn't want to keep her own name, she's told me that in the past).

    The day itself is the only day in the year where everyone that we care about will be under the one roof together, so I want to share this with them too. The godmother and godfather will be maid of honour and best man whenever we decide to get married, so that will be a nice touch too.

    The only issue I really had was whether the altar itself was a good place to propose. I figured if we get married, it will be in that church anyway, so why not express my intention to marry on the same spot where we will be married? Plus it's a story to tell the kids when they're older.

    I think she would be surprised if I went down the boring proposal route, and she would expect me to do something a little different.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,379 ✭✭✭pooch90


    Plus if it's the same priest you want for wedding, he may waive any extra fees for using church or pre-marriage course. Always good to have priest on-side.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,981 ✭✭✭ElleEm


    ysktnfro wrote: »
    Thanks everyone for your responses. There's no worry that she won't say yes - I can pretty much guarantee that she will say yes! And the family and friends looking on won't add any pressure for me at all; if anything, it will make it more special. Each of them have been with us every step along the way. We've been together now for almost 10 years, and with 2 kids, everyone is expecting the next step to come soon enough.

    She would be traditional, so she would need time to plan for a wedding, so I don't think we would bolt on a wedding to the christening! The engagement on the same day as my child's christening would be pretty much a way of concreting us as a family, and to express my intention to have us all under the one name, like we should be (She doesn't want to keep her own name, she's told me that in the past).

    The day itself is the only day in the year where everyone that we care about will be under the one roof together, so I want to share this with them too. The godmother and godfather will be maid of honour and best man whenever we decide to get married, so that will be a nice touch too.

    The only issue I really had was whether the altar itself was a good place to propose. I figured if we get married, it will be in that church anyway, so why not express my intention to marry on the same spot where we will be married? Plus it's a story to tell the kids when they're older.

    I think she would be surprised if I went down the boring proposal route, and she would expect me to do something a little different.

    You seem to have really thought this through, but every answer you have given here is what YOU think, and how great YOU think it would be.
    I know you said that your girlfriend would not expect you to propose in the traditional way, but what do you think she would think of such a public proposal? I think it's something you would either really love or really hate- you need to be 100% that it is something she would really love before you go ahead with it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 5 ysktnfro


    Good point ElleEm, maybe I'm just too wrapped up in the idea at the moment, I might need to take a step back and try to see it without rose tinted glasses!


  • Registered Users Posts: 602 ✭✭✭Big Vern


    Hi Everyone just a quick question on another marriage proposal idea.

    I'm planning to ask my gf very soon, we have a young daughter.
    Here is my problem. I have the ring and plan on asking her on our favourite beach. Do I bring our daughter or not. If I try get someone to look after her and say we are going for a drive my gf might have an idea what is going on. She knows im going to ask, she helped pick out the ring a while ago, but doesn’t know when its going to happen.
    Any opinions or ideas. my daughter is 16 months old and is walking. She could stay in pram, but we wouldn’t get far on the beach.
    Thanks


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,208 ✭✭✭Gee_G


    Big Vern wrote: »
    Hi Everyone just a quick question on another marriage proposal idea.

    I'm planning to ask my gf very soon, we have a young daughter.
    Here is my problem. I have the ring and plan on asking her on our favourite beach. Do I bring our daughter or not. If I try get someone to look after her and say we are going for a drive my gf might have an idea what is going on. She knows im going to ask, she helped pick out the ring a while ago, but doesn’t know when its going to happen.
    Any opinions or ideas. my daughter is 16 months old and is walking. She could stay in pram, but we wouldn’t get far on the beach.
    Thanks

    I think it would be lovely to bring your daughter along :-) my oh proposed to me last year and my son was with him and I think it made it more special :-)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9 tom tom 55


    How dear you.


  • Registered Users Posts: 602 ✭✭✭Big Vern


    Gee_G wrote: »
    I think it would be lovely to bring your daughter along :-) my oh proposed to me last year and my son was with him and I think it made it more special :-)

    Thank you for reply. Im beginning to think it will be a complete surprise if our daughter is there.make it even more special perhaps!


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