totally lost and confused

LegacyUser

Ok so long story short, me and this guy met each other last october, i wasn't really into him at the start but i got to like him a bit as time went on. We ended up sleeping together at the end of october n i got pregnant.

a bit of background, i was with this guy last year n i fell for him fast n hard. my feeling for him brought up fears that had haunted me for years underneath about love that was caused by my parent's separation. i got depressed and we eventually broke up last july. this was very tough on me and it's taken me a long time to try get over him. I've been in cbt ever since trying to work through my issues and have been on medication since april - though i've ad to come off since pregnancy.

Anyway, this guy who got me pregnant is from nigeria and even though he speaks good enough english, there are some things i think he chooses to misunderstand. but basically, i don't like this guy. he is disrespectful, rude, arogant and lazy. he would mention, without actually calling me fat, how big my belly was or how big my legs were. i told him to stop but he laughed at me and kept doing it until i eventually told him it was over. he stopped then. a few times we were meeting up and he'd be over an hour late. he'd tell me he was on the bus then when he didnt show up after 30 mins id text n ask where he was n he'd say still at home. one time he told me "ok am coming" and 45 mins later, after a no show, text him to seewhere he was, n he was in bed. all of this got too much for me and i told him it was definietly over between us.

this happened about 5-6 weeks ago and he still hasn't got the point. i have to repeat myself almost every da that we are not a couple, that i do not want to be with him and that there is no future for us. it's come to the point that i have to be mean to him to get my point across. we met up about two weeks ago because i wanted to talk to him about his visa, his job and so on, because of the baby. he kept trying to put his arm around me n i had to tell him to stop, to not touch me, because i didn't want it. he didn't listen to me. every time i tried to explain what i wanted, needed or felt, he'd interrupt me going "no no no", clearly not considering my feelings at all. He says he wants me to be his wife, to live with me, that he has many plans for me. I do not want someone planning my life for me, or my future. I've told him many times that i am going to marry someone i love, not just someone who i have a baby with. i'm not going to sacrifice my happiness. i was brought up in a broken home, and despite some issues, i lived a perfectly normal life. this guy is driving me mad because EVERYTHING i say, he disagrees with. he doesn't want his child to live in two separate homes but doesn't listen when i said i don't want to live with him. i just don't know what to do. am i going to get this forever? i want him to be there for the baby, but i can't be comfortable with him until he realises that we will only be friends. i know i may seem a bit selfish but i know what it's like to be in a unhappy relationship, n i'm not going to be forced into one by him or anyone else. i just don't know what to do any more..

also, sorry about the length, didn't mean for it to be this long

OP, if he won't take you seriously, stop meeting him on your own. Meet him with a friend, meet him with a legal advisor, anything. Be prepared to get legal as he doesn't sound like he's going to take it too well not having everything his own way. If it's made clear to him he is scuppering his own chances at having time with the baby by refusing to engage constructively, he might start to cop on. I don't mean threaten access removal, but I do mean that you can't work out an arrangement with someone who sits there saying "no" all the time.