Some poems I wrote

HalloweenJack

I've never been a big fan of poetry but I have found myself writing a few poems lately and would appreciate some feedback.

Move another bead along the abacus,
Pour some drinks to celebrate.
Another year crossed off,
We’ll do it again soon enough.
Many miles jotted down,
Many more to come.

The mind is fresh but old,
The body stale but young.
Achievements noted down,
No idea of the next ones.
What comes, always goes,
With time, the memories, too.

To go slow or speed ahead?
The road is dark, the car can’t reverse.
The lights can’t always be trusted,
The engine may stall.
There were breakdowns and pit stops,
Refills and jump starts.
But always it moves forward.

The sand continues to slip away,
But the hourglass can’t be reset.
Perhaps therein lies the drive,
To keep going, to push ahead,
Regardless.
‘Cause when the sand is gone,
Time is up and the hourglass can’t be reset.

---

The wind cuts off conversation,
This is our private moment.
We turn away from the world,
Huddled together in a darkened street corner.
Our hands embrace,
Our bodies rub against each other.
Our mouths meet and the moment peaks.

With the wind as our soundtrack,
We talk it out.
We both know this is it.
Tomorrow, we’ll go back to our lives,
This night in the past.
But our hearts will remember.
That night we had,
When we were lovers.

A chance encounter that fulfilled our lives in that moment.
It was perfection, it felt like it would never end.
But the drink wore off and the cold got into our bones.
The truth came out and the realisation came our way.
X, Y and Z reasons why it can never be,
All too big, too important to ignore.
Loneliness and alcohol brought us together.
We promise to try, we convince ourselves it can work.
But we both know better.

We linger, not wanting to end the moment
But the conversation has done it.
Why didn’t we keep quiet and enjoy the moment?
Let what’s been unsaid, stay unsaid.
We smile sadly, it’s a false smile,
Trying to keep up the pretence that we’re happy with the end.
The sun’s coming up,
The street is being cleaned and people start making their way to work.

We shuffle off, a final embrace before separating.
No numbers, no promises, no more.
It will always be a perfect memory.
I walk on, a quick look back,
You’re gone.
But, thank you.

Insect Overlord

I like these. The second one needs a bit of tightening up, but it's got my attention already.
I'll try to give you some more useful suggestions after I've slept a bit.

SebBerkovich

I liked the first one, especially the 3rd stanza.

Chaptain

I'm a fan of the second one, especially the theme. Throw some rhythm in there and you're flying!