Why constant change of thought...

LegacyUser

Can anyone please help me and explain why I change my mind so often..........??

I can be fully committed to a decision for a period, long or short, then I may read an article, or listen to somebody's opinion or something they say that may trigger my thoughts and give me an idea, which then could simply change my mind completely from my original plan.......and it is so frustrating and exhausting.

Those closest are also exhausted from listening to my plans changing.

Why can't I just commit?

My plans can change from jobs, emigration, another child, returning to Uni, and where to live..
It's all crazy...... I don't know what is right for me....so I continue to chase and live with a maybe.. it's all wrecking my head..

Any comments, solutions, miracles welcome...

pastorbarrett

Indecisiveness is a trait of mine too- and not one I'm particularly fond of!

Speaking personally, I can offer the following insights:

-I think fear of the unknown, the fear of taking a risk etc can unduly predominate my decision making process. It's something I try to be conscious of and aware of. In instances where it gets the better of me, it leads to inaction (which often times is the worst possible outcome!), not to mention a whole load of stress concerning a pending decision. Often it's necessary to accept that you don't have control over how a life change may pan out, and go with your gut regardless.

-This may be something of a contradiction, but your process of making a decision may be very personal and differ to others. Some people mull over things, research every potentiality and permit themselves time to 'sleep on things'. Others don't, and operate in a manner that could be considered the opposite of the above. Neither is wrong; what matters is that you make the sound and comfortable choice for you.

Practically speaking, I think it's a good idea to seek the appropriate support where necessary. I found counseling/ career guidance counseling to be of great assistance in relation to my own circumstances. Having someone who is objective and can perhaps bring awareness to inconsistencies in thought was useful for me.

Hope that helps!

cantdecide

/looks at username:o

I find that with myself I like to rap about things and mull things over for a time. I like talk things over with different people but ultimately I know I can trust myself to make the right decision because I have a pretty thorough decision making process. The trick is to not pressurise yourself by telling people 'I've decided to do X,Y and Z. Just tell them you're still thinking about these options but you're still not 100% sure which way to go even if you feel you almost have your mind made up one way or another. Don't pressurise yourself.

I will give you one technique that can work for even some bigger decisions. Say you're thinking about taking a job offer. Ask yourself the same question about the two scenarios;
'I will be happier if take the new job' and then say
'I will be happier if I hold onto the job I have'
Repeat each out loud and think about each statement carefully and say them like you really mean them, you'll hear the ring of truth louder in one statement over the other.

PS, rapping with your family about stuff is what they're there for!

Roisy7

I am the same too. If you like I could pin it on being a Pisces :P


I know it is annoying for those around you and yourself but there is one positive. At least you're open-minded. I know people who are so fixed and rigid in their opinions and views that they can never change. I'd rather be able to change my mind than not!

On a practical level- if you have made a decision, put in place practical plans so you have to go through with it. Like you decide to go to Dublin, book the train before you change your mind. And there's no harm with struggling with big decisions like going back to college etc. I think things are so uncertain at the moment alot of people are struggling with decisions like that.

Perhaps you should look at career guidance etc.

daisybelle2008

firsttimeuser wrote: »

I don't know what is right for me....
.

Well you see that is your problem right there. The thing is you need to trust yourself & believe in yourself. I try to always trust my gut instinct, you are overthinking. I tend not to canvas too much opinion on decisions as I know myself best, that's a huge part of believing in yourself. I also know if I am uncertain I either don't do anything if the situation allows, if it doesn't I make any decision and know that I will make the best and learn something, in other words there are no 'bad' decisions if you make the most of things and don't live in the past and aren't a regretful 'what if' person full of negativity and regret.

Look at decisions as adventures that there is no right or wrong, just exciting opportunity for you to make work and embrace no matter the outcome. Any decision is in your power to work no matter what you choose. You are not a victim of good or bad outcomes, you are master of your own destiny.

hdowney

meridiangroup wrote: »

Indecisiveness is a trait of mine too- and not one I'm particularly fond of!

Speaking personally, I can offer the following insights:

-I think fear of the unknown, the fear of taking a risk etc can unduly predominate my decision making process. It's something I try to be conscious of and aware of. In instances where it gets the better of me, it leads to inaction (which often times is the worst possible outcome!), not to mention a whole load of stress concerning a pending decision. Often it's necessary to accept that you don't have control over how a life change may pan out, and go with your gut regardless.

-This may be something of a contradiction, but your process of making a decision may be very personal and differ to others. Some people mull over things, research every potentiality and permit themselves time to 'sleep on things'. Others don't, and operate in a manner that could be considered the opposite of the above. Neither is wrong; what matters is that you make the sound and comfortable choice for you.

Practically speaking, I think it's a good idea to seek the appropriate support where necessary. I found counseling/ career guidance counseling to be of great assistance in relation to my own circumstances. Having someone who is objective and can perhaps bring awareness to inconsistencies in thought was useful for me.

Hope that helps!

I completely agree with this and I am completely the same. I think my brain is so programmed to what ifs at this stage that fighting through them can be a challenge