moving in with boyfriend on lone parents.

bendywendy

Hi Im hoping someone here might be able to give me some advise.
I am on lone parents and I have two children, we are living in a council house. I have been seeing my ex for six months (father of my youngest child who is four) . We were too young to make it work years ago but we have been getting on great and really want to make a go of it and move in together.

I know I will lose my loan parents and thats fine my main worry is what will the welfare say about me being with my ex? It would be so much easier if he was a new boyfriend and Im very worried they will think "oh well you must have been together the whole time" That is not the case he had a lot of issues back then and it couldnt work. Also worried the council will take that view? Though only in my council house a few months.

Has anyone any experience coming off lone parents to move in with someone either new or old?

Slightly worried what will happen then if we did move in only for it not to work could I go back on lone parents? Been on my own a long time now dont really want someone having that kind of power over me that they know I cant go back on it so stuck with them no matter what. I wouldnt be putting my children through moving in with someone if I didnt think it could work.

Thanks for reading I know its very long.

mp22

The dept don't mind who you live with once you are upfront about it.You local council will need to be informed about the change in living arrangements,If the house is large enough for 2 adults and 2 children and you pay whatever new rent they ask for you should be ok.

bendywendy

Thanks mp22. Yes I will be informing the council too its a three bed house so nothing should change except the rent. I just want to be able to get out of the poverty trap, get married, do a course/college and get a good job (boyfriend is working) . Its just so terrifying to deal with social welfare inspectors at the best of times they really scare the bejesus out of me. Do I go down and tell them when we move in or send a letter?

mp22

You are better writing to the dept about these things,keep a copy of all letters and get proof of postage (free in the PO).

wmpdd3

You say your boy friend is working, if you come off lone parents and apply for JSA, you will both be means tested.

Maybe look at some other none means tested schemes such as BTEA or a CE scheme?

bendywendy

thanks yeah I was thinking of doing some sort of course or college once my youngest starts big school in september so btea is probably my best bet

Beckala

I'm a lone parent. My ex-husband gets all the benefits as he has kids a half day more than me (he has them Mon evening - Fri morn and I have them from Fri evening - Mon morn) anyway, technically, because he has them for a few hours more than me, he is seen, by the state, as the main 'care giver'. I'm not entitled to Children's Allowance and the state doesn't recognise that I have kids at all, which is very painful and ridiculous in my opinion. I have to collect them form Cork, I live in Portlaoise and have them back down at 8.30am for school every Mon. I get no extra funds for petrol etc.

Anyway, what I'm saying is that you can make anything work! I've been doing it for 5 yrs now. I came off social welfare to move in with my fiance a year ago and it's worked out fine. In alot of ways it's easier ie. bills etc.

The state have no say on who you're living with at all. If you are co-habiting, you have to tell them, that's all. You wouldn't be entitled to payment if he's working but they'll means test ye, taking into account that the kids are there and then you may get paid accordingly.

E-mailing or calling into the Citizens Information is a good way to go. They'd lead you in the right direction. Costs nothing to get information.

Ms gratitude

Hi. I am hoping someone can advice me please. I want to move a partner in with me. I am in the understanding that I will have to advice the SW department in writing about this, which is ok.
However I am wondering will I also lose my FIS payment if I move him in? My FIS end in July 2015.
Basically do I lose every thing?? He is moving in to help with emotional and financial support as I am struggling and he wants to help out.
If I do Lose everything I don't think it will be possible for him to move in.
And as I need support in the hse, etc.... I had thought to get a paying tenant in and declare the amount of rent he/she will pay per week. But wonder will I lose my lone parent and FIS if I declare this also. Whatever happens I will declare as I feel the honest way is the easiest way
I hope someone can help

Digital Society

Ms gratitude wrote: »

Hi. I am hoping someone can advice me please. I want to move a partner in with me. I am in the understanding that I will have to advice the SW department in writing about this, which is ok.
However I am wondering will I also lose my FIS payment if I move him in?
Basically do I lose every thing?? He is moving in to help with emotional and financial support as I am struggling and he wants to help out.
If I do Lose everything I don't think it will be possible for him to move in.
And as I need support in the hse, etc.... I had thought to get a paying tenant in and declare the amount of rent he/she will pay per week. But wonder will I lose my lone parent and FIS if I declare this also. Whatever happens I will declare as I feel the honest way is the easiest way
I hope someone can help

Are they working or on Welfare themselves?

Youll be means tested as a couple. Simple as that really.

If he was making 1000 euro a week of course you will lose out but if hes also on Welfare you might just continue getting whatever you have now or slightly less.

I was in similar situation before. I was on BTEA in college so we both got full amount but then during the Summer i went onto JS and we where means tested as a couple so we lost out on only about 20 euro a week.

217 + 217 + Fuel and Rent. 2 adults and 2 kids. Obviously C Benefit monthly aswell.

Ms gratitude

Hi. Thanks for speedy reply. He works, is self employed and would earn over €1000. So I guess he'd be a liability if I moved him in (Ha ha)

However I need help and he did offer.

I am thinking should I move a lodger in. I have ample space and of course declare it for any house inspections etc....

I wonder will the Dept, c that cash in hand agreement as a sourse of income.

I just want to make a start getting off this SW system and try to get to where I want to be, working full time hours whenever they come

Digital Society

Ms gratitude wrote: »

Hi. Thanks for speedy reply. He works, is self employed and would earn over €1000. So I guess he'd be a liability if I moved him in (Ha ha)

However I need help and he did offer.

I am thinking should I move a lodger in. I have ample space and of course declare it for any house inspections etc....

I wonder will the Dept, c that cash in hand agreement as a sourse of income.

I just want to make a start getting off this SW system and try to get to where I want to be, working full time hours whenever they come

Get on BTEA and onto a 4 year college course. Youll get the the same as you get now for 8 months of the year for 4 years. Youll also be allowed work 20 hours a week and have a partner earning no limits as they arent brought into it when youre on BTEA. Once youre on it its locked in until you finish college.

Thats your best way back to a full time good job.

Ms gratitude

That an option to return to college. I have a Qualification already, however what I am qualified in the jobs have been majorly cut. I was made redundant in 2012 and went doing more courses and even jobs bridge just to keep busy and feel some self worth.

I spoke to citizen info today. I explained that I was not very happy on two payments a fis and Lone parent. She is going to look into seeing if I can quit the lone parent and keep the FIS as I only have four months left on it. And check will this help.

I have two young children so for now a 4 yr college course will not suit.
My job is again up in Aug as it is in a school. So I just hope more work comes.

Many thanks to all who have read this and given advice