Ending a 1 month relationship etiquette

hfallada

Hi,

I have been in a relationship for about a month although for the last 2 weeks I didnt see the person( they were away and i was sick) and barely communicated other than sending a few texts each day. Im not in anyway feeling the person anymore and want to end the relationship but they like me quite a bit.

However since it was such a short relationship is it more common to end it by phone or in person. Also is it better for the other to broken up with over the phone rather than the awkward I dont like you anymore?

judgefudge

I don't really understand what you mean by the second question.

So you're in a relationship for basically 2 weeks? Is that all or did you date them or know them before?

Considering you haven't seen them in a couple weeks I'd say over the phone is grand. And be honest, just say you don't see it going anywhere. Done and dusted!

topcatcbr

This is not a relationship in my opinion. Just tell him/her you no longer want to see them either by phone or face to face.

What's important is that they know and ASAP.

kylith

Over the phone is never acceptable, imo. Make an arrangement to meet them somewhere and tell them face to face.

curlzy

For a relationahip this short it's perfectly fine to do it over the phone IMO. However, if you think s/he is very much into you it wouldn't hurt to do it face to face and tell them nicely that while they're lovely etc you just aren't feeling it and would like to end things.

LegacyUser

If it was only a few weeks I'd hate to be going through the trouble of meeting up just to be told its over. Phone is grand but no text message or going quiet on the person as so many people do these days

Judes

Oh I soooooo agree with Joe's post above. Just don't do the "silent" treatment.

I'm the girly side of a story like the Original Posters. Had a date with a guy on 27th December - went really well, got on great - he talked the talk and really seemed to like me - then was sick and travelled to the parental homestead 3 weekends in a row- fine and dandy by me - didn't want to marry the guy - just have a nice time and see him occasionally, I didn't need anything hot and heavy - but after he text me last Thursday, i.e. a week ago and cancelled seeing me last weekend and asked if we could rearrange, I phoned him saying I understood, was disappointed, as I was looking forward to the next date - but he was promising "I'll make it up to you................" BUT - never heard from him again.

Now I don't mind if does't want to pursuit things - but for goodness sake just have the "balls" to say it. I and my girlfriends are sick to death of the "cold shoulder/silent treatment". I can list identicle stories from girlfriends of all ages. Is it some cowardly "gene" that is in the blood of Irish Men??? Can't do conversation/confrontation - just walk away without so much as a good luck!?*

Well guys - here's one for you - us "girlies" can get our revenge - because we talk to each other - I don't mean Facebook - I mean actually talk - so we're sharing stories and names with each other, hangs outs of these cowards and their places of work - so if you want to behave like boys and treat us like a disgarded toy - don't be surprised if the next woman you try to pursue rejects you - because she's heard about you. (Reminds me of an episode of Two and Half Men - ex got revenge on Charlie's behaviour)

Oh and if the original poster is the Ball-Less Blunder who didn't have the courtesy to be honest with me and just say - it's not there - well, good luck!!!

dannyc31

Oh I soooooo agree with Joe's post above. Just don't do the "silent" treatment.

I'm the girly side of a story like the Original Posters. Had a date with a guy on 27th December - went really well, got on great - he talked the talk and really seemed to like me - then was sick and travelled to the parental homestead 3 weekends in a row- fine and dandy by me - didn't want to marry the guy - just have a nice time and see him occasionally, I didn't need anything hot and heavy - but after he text me last Thursday, i.e. a week ago and cancelled seeing me last weekend and asked if we could rearrange, I phoned him saying I understood, was disappointed, as I was looking forward to the next date - but he was promising "I'll make it up to you................" BUT - never heard from him again.

Now I don't mind if does't want to pursuit things - but for goodness sake just have the "balls" to say it. I and my girlfriends are sick to death of the "cold shoulder/silent treatment". I can list identicle stories from girlfriends of all ages. Is it some cowardly "gene" that is in the blood of Irish Men??? Can't do conversation/confrontation - just walk away without so much as a good luck!?*

Well guys - here's one for you - us "girlies" can get our revenge - because we talk to each other - I don't mean Facebook - I mean actually talk - so we're sharing stories and names with each other, hangs outs of these cowards and their places of work - so if you want to behave like boys and treat us like a disgarded toy - don't be surprised if the next woman you try to pursue rejects you - because she's heard about you. (Reminds me of an episode of Two and Half Men - ex got revenge on Charlie's behaviour)

Oh and if the original poster is the Ball-Less Blunder who didn't have the courtesy to be honest with me and just say - it's not there - well, good luck!!!

ha ha this made me laugh well this is my opinion on this anyway. first of all i am in the camp that it is never ok to just text someone and say you dont want to see the person again. to me its kinda a disrespectful thing. if you respected them enough to share their company a couple of times and perhaps even their bed, then you should have the balls and respect to meet them face to face and just tell them you are not in the same place as they are.

you make a good point thou, i think a large portion of irish men are actually afraid of women. i'm not sure if it comes from the over mothering irish mum that has them ruined or is it the old irish catholic church/schools. i know i went to all boys schools all the way thru so i never really had much experience with women until my college days. at that stage it can be too late for alot of men to of developed any emotional maturity.

it all comes down to the way our brains work, men dont tap into that part of their brains as easy as women do, its the same part that looks after communication which explains why women talk more than men and are better at it.

i dont think there really is a solution to this, well perhaps in a generation when young men have developed to be emotionally more mature due to the more liberal ireland we now live in.but i think many men of our generation are going to continue to stone-wall like this as its just easier for them. at the end of the day arguements, feelings, talking things out etc all those things are just hassle for a man where-as for women thats how things are resolved. we are definitely the simplier of the 2 sexes you might even say less intelligent but unfortunetly thats the male species that you know and love

Stavro Mueller

This cowardly "gene" doesn't just apply to men. Women do it too.

Anyway, back on subject. OP, in my opinion it doesn't matter what way you do it as long as you have the courtesy of telling her.

daisybelle2008

I don't see the problem with a text saying your not interested anymore if you get a text asking for another date. If I had a couple of dates with someone and they asked to meet up face to face to 'break up' with me I'd think they were a bit tapped and over emotional.

I'd find it embarrassing, uncomfortable and over the top to meet in person after such a brief fling, to be honest I'd be happy to let it just fizzle out. People need to rely more on their instinct and feelings and not getting into all this Dawsons Creek dialogue over nothing.

Some people are emotionally intelligent enough to accept and realise when someone is not interested/ceasing contact and it is not necessary to spell to obvious out to them.

dannyc31

sorry i guess my reply was more to Judes rather than OP. yes i agree a text after a couple of dates where things just naturally fizzles out is fine. i'm talking about when there has obviously been a proper relationship going on where you have perhaps been seeing each other 3 times a week for 2 or 3 months. you can invest alot of emotions in that amount of time and often one person may start to fall for the other alot more. i'm just speaking from experience where i knew the feelings were alot stronger on her side and i would of not given much impression that i was ready to end things, even thou in my head i had been blowing hot & cold about the whole thing all along (yes i'm guilty of it too, the men not talking about their real feelings). for me i really felt it would be a very disrespectful thing to do on her to just text or just never text again out of the blue.

now a couple of dates is a completely different story to what i'm suggesting.

Neyite

Judes,

Your post was deleted. Further posts in the same vein may result in infraction or a forum ban. Please ensure you post in line with the forum Charter and when you do so, to avoid crass generalisations towards men.