Follow my heart, follow my head?

alec123

So, I came out of a relationship at the end of the summer. We were going out for a couple of years, it started very casually then developed into something really good.

I was out of work for a few months which, while it killed me at the time, was great in that we saw a lot of each other however I got a job but it was a good distance from her. Our schedules clashed a lot so we didnt see much of each other but we stayed together.

Finally we got a block of time that matched up so we went on holidays. It was great, sooooo chilled out. As cliched as it sounds I fell in love with her all over again there. We both had a ball and I felt we really got closer (she told me she felt the same way) After that things started to get strained. We only saw each other 3 days in the month following that. She was getting in a bad mood alot saying that she wanted more not less and the holiday highlighted how little we actually saw of each other. I understood this and I started looking for jobs closer to her but couldnt find anything and the thought of being unemployed again was scaring the crap outta me

We started to drift, I could feel her moving away no matter what I did. I guess I started to 'close up' too as I could feel this wasnt going anywhere I was gonna like. This, obviously, didnt help and when we finally broke up she said it was the distance and that I hadnt reassured her enough. I understood this totally, the last thing I ever wanted was to see her unhappy. So I watched as she walked out the door........

I buried myself in my job, exercise, books, anything I could do to keep myself going while the pain passed. I thought I was doing pretty well. Then I went on a break at the end of the year, a nice relaxing holiday for myself.. do as I please, maybe even meet someone for a holiday fling you know?

Alas it didnt work out quite like that... I couldnt stop thinking about her. It was quite a shock as I thought I had moved on but boy now it doesnt feel that way. I got back home and met up with her and I just couldnt take my eyes off her. It made me realise that I shouldnt have let her go, balls to the money I should have walked out that door with her that day and, at least, tried to make it right. I wont remember this job the day after I leave it but I have a terrible feeling I will be thinking about her for a long time.

I think she is seeing somebody new and that hurts but I dont expect her not to, we broke up months ago. However I think I'd be making a big mistake if I didnt try. What Im stumped with is how the hell do I even bring this up?

"honey I havent stopped loving you and I'd live in a hole in the ground to be near you" ?? Obviously now that but Im at a loss. If she says no then so be it I get on with my life knowing I tried. My head is telling me not to but my heart is saying the exact opposite.

What dya reckon?

alec123

Oops.. still the OP: just to follow up, the other alternative is to get on with things, stay in touch and see what happens but Im not sure about that.

CaraMay

Go for it all bells and whistles. Life is too short

alec123

OK but how do I even bring this up? "Dya fancy a coffee ...oh and spending the rest of your life with me?" Just come straight out and tell her how I feel or what? The 'logical' part of my primitive male brain is telling me there must be a strategy thats more complex but I dont bloody know

CaraMay

There is no subtle way around it - tell her you never should have let her go etc

What have you to lose?

bakergirl91

I think you just need to tell her purely and simply. Get her on her own, call to her place maybe. If you feel this in your heart, go for it ! Dont go through life wondering, better to live without regret than with it ! best of luck op