Cheated on my girlfriend and don't know what to do

LegacyUser

Hi,

I'm looking for some advise on what I should do. On Saturday night I cheated on my girlfriend. We have been exclusive for the past 2.5 months but had been meeting up on a regular basis since last May. We were seeing other people during that time but in November I asked her to be my girlfriend as I really like her and had no interest in playing the field any more. We get on great and always have a fun time together. We usually sleep over in each others houses 2-3 nights a week.

We were out at a gig on Saturday night; both with our respective sets of friends. It was a pretty drunken night but lots of fun. Everyone was enjoying the night. After the gig we were heading on to nite clubs and both groups went seperate ways. She was heading home wth a friend afterwards so we weren't going to be sleeping over anyway. I went with my group of friends. Things got really drunk and I ended up going back to a house with 2 girls that approached me outside after the club was finished. I barely remember talking to these girls outside the club as I was pretty drunk at this stage. There was another random guy with us (my friends brothers housemate) who I had never met before that night. Back in the house we were drinking wine and listening to music for hours. Ended up me & one of the girls in the sitting room and we ended up going to bed and having sex. I woke up the next morning and after chatting to the girls for a while headed home. I remember very little of the night and was so pissed off at myself when I woke up the next morning.

I was chatting with my girlfriend on the phone yesterday but I haven't told her what happened. I really don't know how she would react to this. I really like her and can't believe I did something like this to her. I know she would never do this to me. I have never cheated on anyone before and feel like absolute sh!t. I always thought cheaters were a$$holes and didn't deserve to be with the girls they cheat on.

My question is should I tell her what happened and risk her ending it or just say nothing?

If age is useful to know I'm 27 and she's 26.

Thanks in advance to anyone who has any advise for me.

judgefudge

Tell her. It'll come out someway eventually. These things always do. I was in a position where I found out and thinking about him lying and lying to my face is what hurts the most. She deserves to know, if you respect her as a person tell her.

In my case I may have forgiven the guy if it hasn't been all the lies. It's very hard to get over the guy lying to you for weeks. I wish you the best but be prepared to lose her over this. Being drunk is never an excuse. If you're aware enough to have sex you should be aware enough to get yourself home. You should learn something from this.

Luca Brasi

Just ask yourself "What would Rod Stewart do?"

Neyite

Tell her.

It sounds like others knew what happened so word will get out. You say you were very drunk, so I'm wondering if you remembered to use protection? If not, you should get fully checked out.

RossFixxxed

If it was a huge mistake and you were absolutely destroyed with guilt and vowed never, ever to do it again I'd say maybe let it slide.

However, your language: you just "ended up" on the bed having sex, and the constatly mentioning you were drunk speaks volumes tbh. Booze does lead to some silly behaviour, and out of character stuff, but it is no excuse for cheating. Sex doesn't just accidentally happen. There is some forethought and effort involved.

I'd say tell her and end it. If your post is anyting to go by she is better off.

Get an STD test and don't go spreading it on to everyone else too. Your GF does not deserve a disease on top of everything.

Also if you are a praying man, pray this girl isn't pregnant.

Ickle Magoo

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tinkerbell

OP, so let me get this straight. You went out with your friends and gf, she left early, then you went to a club, met some random girls outside the club at the end of the night and went to their house to shag one of them? It'd be bad enough if you met someone and had been flirting with them all night (unforgiveable) but you just met them outside and then went home with them! That is seriously screwed up. That is how your gf will see it. You got an offer from a randomer and decided to take it, who you had only JUST met and didn't even think of your gf. Being drunk is no excuse, it just means you lose your inhibitions. You don't just magically forget about your partner or anybody for that matter just because you're drunk.

Your gf deserves to know. I hope to god you haven't slept with her since because you need to get yourself checked out for STIs. And your relationship is most likely over, I can't see how she'd want to forgive you for that.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies. It's very hard to hear these things but you are all right. I have to accept the consequences of what I did. I am going to tell her this evening after work. I suspect she will break up with me. I hate the thought that I have messed this up and will hurt her. I am probably going to lose her but it is what I deserve.

I will not be checking back for further replies. I have been told what I already knew deep down. Moderators can lock the thread if you so desire.