Should I ask are we exclusive or is it too soon?

LegacyUser

Hi,
I need some advice. Firstly, I'm 20. I've liked this girl for awhile now, she's in my class, while we were friendly and would message eachother and have a drink the odd time I wouldn't say we were friends. But we've known eachother for a year and I would have thought we were close acquaintances. Before Christmas on a night out we both got really drunk and she came back to mine. We had a really great night and a good chat in the morning and then she went home. We kept in contact all through Christmas, and I've completely fallen for her. Last night we went out on a 'date', had an amazing time and ended up going back to hers. I stayed till the afternoon. We are meeting up again during the week to have dinner. What I'm asking is- is it too soon to ask her what the story is? I need to know where I stand as this means a lot to me, plus I'm not comfortable sleeping with her if she's seeing other people. She's a very nice girl and I highly doubt that she would be but she doesn't know that I'd mind if she did. I want this girl to be my girlfriend! So should I talk to her about it on Wednesday? And if I do, how do I go about it?

Esoteric_

You had a drunken one night stand, and have been on one date, and weren't closer than acquaintances before that? Have I got that right?

If I have got it right, I certainly wouldn't be asking are ye exclusive just yet. Most people usually wait til the 5th date or so, but it's all down to personal preference.

If you genuinely feel you cannot continue this 'thing' without knowing what exactly it is, then you may as well ask instead of getting wound up.

judgefudge

It seems quite soon to be having that conversation. In my mind if a guy said that to me it would actually put me off a bit. It just seems like a bit clingy maybe. It's up to you but if you really feel like you need to ask maybe try and say it in a breezy way, like not too intense. I usually wait til the 2 or 3 month mark. You're still getting to know each other. Chill out.

beks101

Relax, take it easy & just go with the flow. It's early days yet.

Ask her out again, tell her you like her. Kiss her again & text her every day or two so she knows you're thinking of her. It will happen organically if you're both on the same page, no point jumping the gun and coming on too strong too soon by broaching the 'what are we ?' conversation too soon. Woo her a bit, sweep her off her feet!

sffc

I think others are missing the point - mainly because you are a guy OP .The point being you aren't comfortable with her sleeping with anyone else . I really doubt that's the case from what you write but as other posters say a serious conversation could kinda freak her out. You could try humour but make it about YOU being exclusive ;-)

I'd ask away, but I do tend to be pretty forward about these things.

You don't have to sit her down and trap her in a big serious conversation. Say next time you're in a romantic setting, whether it be a date or in bed in the morning, just tell her that you really like her and that if she'd like to be exclusive, that's something you'd like, no pressure.

Lorna123

If its not too soon to sleep with her then its not too soon to be exclusive. I would not like to be sleeping with someone who is also sleeping with others. I would respect a guy who was that decent too.

Holsten

I dunno I think there is a difference between finding out if she is just messing around with you or others, and asking her out as a girlfriend.

You should probably just ask where you stand first off, then if you like the answer continue on, should you develop feelings then ask her to be boyfriend/girlfriend.