Need advice about this guy

LegacyUser

So Im in this very odd situation. In 2007 I met this guy, we had really great chemistry but didnt actually get together till 2008 for one night. We had a row. I never got his number. Then in 2011, I get a Facebook friend request and an email from him. I was pretty shocked as I couldn't believe he found me as I never gave him my full name. We were IM, texting and emailing for over 6 months. Arranging to met each other for coffee. Then he mentioned how his girlfriend cheated on him and I told him my view of things which he didnt like so we stopped the contact in Sept.


Then in January he started texting me again, trying to get me to see him. I finally told him to delete my number. But last month, after 6 months of no contact, I found him on Facebook and sent him a message, we started texting and calling each other daily, he visited me. He lives 2 hours away. We hadnt seen each other since 2008!! He still had the same girlfriend. He stayed over, I made it clear that cheating is wrong but shamefully, we did mess about but no sex.
He says he is bored of his relationship, not in love with her but doesnt think it will be impossible to end it but always going on about how he thinks of me, how I should move to his city, planning future events with me, he does this each time we get back in contact.
We had a falling out over text after he left, I was paranoid that he would be all odd with me again. He texts me saying that I should just forget that he visited and that he doesnt want any of this and he needs to be alone. So I left him alone, no contact for the past week. I deleted his number.

I dont understand what his deal is. Im very black and white about things and feel he should man up. im staying up beat but I am confused and I feel anxious thinking about the future. I dont know what to make of him and I would like some advice on others would do

Lovetochill

You said you left him alone, deleted his number....please keep doing so. This guy clearly doesn't know what he wants and he is messing with your head and wasting your time. He has a girlfriend and you never had a real relationship with him. I don't know why you should spend more than a sec thinking about this guy or what his deal is. If he was serious about you, there wouldn't be any of these dramas. Respect yourself. Forget about him and there are lots of good single men out there who are willing to treat you with respect.

likeaboson

Deleted all contact and forget about him, this guy clearly has issue with his gf and by acting this way he is just uing you. Forget about him move on and meet a guy that will be straight up with you from the start and is the guy you deserve!

Keep the faith

mood

And what kind of relationship or future would you have with him if you keep falling out? To fight that often when you know each other so little is hardly a good sign.

Esoteric_

Pretty much every time you've mentioned speaking to him, you've mentioned arguing and cutting contact. He's cheating on his long term girlfriend, you were a party to that cheating.

Neither of you sound right for each other at all.

rainbowtrout

So you told him to delete your number, but then you went and contacted him a month ago. You then told him cheating was wrong but then something happened between you, when you knew he had a girlfriend, incidentally the same girl he's been with for the last 5 years.

He doesn't want to be with you, if he did, he would be with you, and for all his giving out about the girlfriend he's still with her. Stop wasting your time on this idiot and show yourself some respect. This is going nowhere.

wurzlitzer

I have to say this guy is a waste of time, he's a player & evidently a fake & emotionally unavailable. Move on, men like this never change their ways.

LegacyUser

This defiantly sets alarm bells ringing - nothing good will come out of this, please spare yourself the heartache and cut contact completely.
He is only messing with your head, making future plans and getting your hopes up.

confusedIam

forget him OP - wasting your time

bakergirl91

Op, run for the hills. stick to the no contact, block him on facebook, email everything. You are his way of escaping his problems, looking for an excuse for his own relationship. I dont mean to sound harsh.... but doyou think he has real feelings for you or just using you ? If he really wanted you, and things were that bad with his girlfriend.......... he would have ended it with her a long time ago. I agree with the others, there was no good start to this, what i call loosely, a relationship. And ye have kept arguing..... it sounds toxic to me.......... forget about him, and stop running back. learn from this and move on, people like that never change.