How to Win The Break Up

gonebeyondajoke

Hi All,

This story is not me bragging this is a lesson in Karma.

It all began last year, I was in a long term relationship with a girl who I absolutely adored, I did everything she wanted, I was supportive, attentive and loving.

I moved to Dublin for work and she stayed in our home town. Every weekend I would travel to see her and in the process take snide comments and abuse from her friends, but that is what you do in a relationship, its about give and take right? On 1 particular occasion at a party her friend asked her at the end of the night

"do you want to come back to mine and we can keep the party going?"

I am a reasonable guy, I am not violent by nature so I refrained from hitting him. When I raised this disgusting incident with my ex she in turn stood up for the guy and blamed me and somehow it was all my fault! (if anyone can explain how I would love to hear it)

We got over this arguement and continued to date, I had to endure this guys repeated snide comments and advances on my gf but I trusted and loved her so I never did anything to over react!

Now here is where the story turns, in short as a present to my ex, I did the one thing he had always talked of doing, I organised her dream holiday...I organised a weeks Holiday in Paris including all the things she wanted to do, dinner with a view of the eiffle tower, romantic walks along the seine in the evening and trips to the louvre and palace of versaille

I thought this trip went without a hiccup. Yet 2 weeks after we got back, she dumped me and said it was because I didn't put in the same effort to the relationship anymore............I will let you make up your own mind on that one!

I went through the whole breakup thing and came out the otherside and decided screw that my bday is not far away I'm going to look forward from here on.

On the day of my birthday my ex sent me a letter, this wasn't a friendly letter, this letter was intended to upset me, this letter listed all my faults and all the reasons it was my fault we had broken up including being rude to her friend, never doing anything romantic or spontaneous and not making an effort in the relationship. it also made personal attacks on my character. She also turned all my friends from home (those that had not emigrated) against me by saying telling them I never came back to town to see them and I always bitched about them (I didn't) This letter did its job....it upset and hurt me.

At this point in the story all I ask is for you not to judge me too harshly for what I did next.

I was back to square one, I was heartbroken, I blamed myself and I went to my best female friends for comfort.

One of my friends, (we shall call her Jane) came to me with a plan, she said don't get depressed, get even this girl has hurt you, lied to you and she needs to be thought a lesson. We carried did the following months later:

As I mentioned I was living in Dublin and my ex (we shall call her Eve) was living at home. I had not been out in the local club since before our trip.

Myself and Jane put on our most expensive and best clothes, we went out in my home town and there was one piece of jewelery Jane had on that caught everyone's eye......her grandmothers antique diamond engagement ring...........we weren't engaged......

All the "friends" that hadn't spoken to me in the 10months since my ex dumping me flocked to our side! They offered congratulations and drinks to celebrate, their gf's didn't rush up or make any offerings, they gave Jane daggers!

Later my ex turned up, she didnt speak to me or acknowledge my presence until about after 10mins conversation with her friends.

Jane ran into her in the bathroom and made small talk.

later in the night Eve approached me, before she could say anything I said "look Eve, I know things ended badly between us but I want you to know I forgive you, we both deserve to be happy! I want you to meet my Fiancee Jane and I hope you will come to our wedding next Feb 14th"

At this point she burst into a screaming onslaught of how cud I be engaged to someone else within a year of us breaking up, how dare I go out in 'her town' and speak to 'her friends' and how dare I flaunt this in her face"

She burst into tears and ran out of the club........

Why such a strong reaction???


That same night was......HER BIRTHDAY!!!

sherbett32

Are you sure this isn't a script for soap opera? Stay away from Eve, you're obviously just not suited.

gonebeyondajoke

sherbett32 wrote: »

Are you sure this isn't a script for soap opera? Stay away from Eve, you're obviously just not suited.

This isn't a soap opera, it's my life! I'm staying well away from her but payback is a bitch!!!

judgefudge

You sound petty and spiteful OP. maybe that's resentment for this girl? I don't know....

You said her friend was making snide comments? Is there any chance he was messing? Or meant "lets go back and keep this party going" in a kind of friendly lets go drink some more and have a laugh way? I'm gonna assume since you are the one that experienced it that he was being sleazy and hitting on her. In which case I would ignore him, he's being an ass. More importantly did she flirt back? Or just ignore it? I don't think you can blame her if she just ignored it.

Granted her sending a letter on your birthday was a bit mean. But making up an engagement and rubbing it in her face on her birthday - overreaction and incredibly immature thing to do.

What advice are you looking for?!

anncoates

A strange, strange thread.

gonebeyondajoke

Hi Judgefudge

I know its petty and immature and I'm not gonna defend it. To answer your questions tho

He wasn't messing they were very snide comments relating to my job, previous arguements me and my ex had and after the incident at the party he made plenty of comments about him causing a row between us.

Yes she did flirt back and claimed it was my fault.

Also I should clarify in the letter she told me she knew she was going to break up with me for weeks but decided to get wait till she got her trip to Paris out of the way to do it and that I was no longer welcome in my home town because she had turned everyone against me.

StevieNicksFan

Can I ask, what are you going to do on Feb 14th when there is no wedding? You will have to admit that the whole thing was an elaborate plan just to get back at her. It's not going to look well for you in the long term to be honest. You will probably come out of this looking a bit spiteful and going above and beyond just to annoy her. Kinda the opposite of karma really in that respect. She is going to find out at some point like. Maybe not directly but it will happen. Just my two cents on the whole situation..

judgefudge

She sounds like a git.

To be fair though, by making up that stuff just to rub it in her face you are lowering yourself to her level. It can't end well. I'm sure it felt good at the time I just don't know how you plan to continue this farce

Lorna123

OMG !!! What a weird reaction !!! Wouldn't this look like she is jealous ? Why would she react like that if she wanted only your happiness. I can't blame you for planning this because it made you feel good, but how is it going to make you feel when Feb. 14th comes along and there is no wedding and news gets back to your ex that this was all a big plan. I don't know if you care. I really don't know what to say. Do you still love your ex???

likeaboson

**** man that's cold.......... Sherbett32 has a point! maybe you should start writing scripts for Fair city or Eastenders........

cantdecide

So she screwed you over and you decided that two wrongs would make a right. Now you've come here to boast about it?

You need to walk away from this whole sordid affair. This is all irretrievable at this stage. Make the most of your life in Dublin and try to learn something from all this. It sounds like you have a lot to learn about life so you should start as soon as possible.

gonebeyondajoke

All I can say is Feb 14 2014 is along time away breakups happen......

Lorna123

gonebeyondajoke wrote: »

All I can say is Feb 14 2014 is along time away breakups happen......

Oh, I thought you said "next Feb 14th" which would be next month !!!

Knockout_91

Most bizarre thread I've ever read in PI, and the end "it was....HER BIRTHDAY!!!!" Speechless.

February 14th is going to be embarrassing.

gonebeyondajoke

Lorna123 wrote: »

Oh, I thought you said "next Feb 14th" which would be next month !!!

Sorry Typo! and to answer your earlier Question, no I don't still love her!

Op this forum is for advice. Please read the charter.

Everyone else, please remember what forum you are posting in when replying. Thanks