Wedding abroad on a €600 budget - suggestions?!?

Beckala

Started off with great romantic ideas. After a 18 mths decided to put a deposit of €200 both wedding and engagement rings of €2,200.

The plan was, H2B had savings in C.Union and we'd get a loan in Dec'12, pay off the rings and after the official engagement announcement, 12 mths later get married in St.Lucia, just the 2 of us and stay for the wk.

Then reality hit, we both found ourselves out of work come Jan '13. We went for loan in Dec and the only thing stopping them from giving loan was arrears on mortgage = bad credit which we can't possibly pay, so can't get loan.

Credit card is maxed. We've now €600 left in savings and a €200 deposit still paid on rings.

We're not too fussy now, just want to get married. Prob have to forfeit rings

We have to go somewhere foreign or families will be hurt but we can't afford to have them plus we hate fuss so somewhere sunny with a few days hols would be really great. Plan B wud maybe be Las Vegas :cool:

Has anyone any possible suggestions as to how we could do with €600?

I'm divorced so not looking for church wedding.

I'm open to all suggestions including ring advice

srsly78

Weddings are luxuries, you could just go to the registry office.

howamidifferent

srsly78 wrote: »

Weddings are luxuries, you could just go to the registry office.

+1 Registry office costs circa 150 euro so 450 for a week away...

Beckala

We thought about that but we know his mother and sisters would be very, very upset if we had it at home (Dublin) and didn't tell them about it. If we told them registery office and did it, they'd insist on coming, then I'd have to bring my family who I have a merely polite relationship with coz you obviously can't have one without the other. Best case senario, they throw us a party for after which we would absolutely hate coz we don't like attention or fuss at all.

UURGH!! Allergic, we just want to go away and get married as part of a hol

Sleepy

Honestly OP, as a couple, you'd need more than €600 to get away anywhere nice for a weekend, never-mind a week or even a few days with wedding costs thrown in.

If there are tax advantages to being married for you that would help your saving you could do the Registry Office as a formality on the quiet and then save towards a non-legal ceremony abroad somewhere nice? It'd make the foreign aspect of the "wedding" day far easier to organise too as it wouldn't involve half as much paperwork or limit your options (e.g. France only allow residents to marry there etc.)

Otherwise, you'll just have to keep saving I'm afraid. Unless one of you is working for a decent wage and you'll get worthwhile tax breaks for being married (this can be worth up to about 3,500 a year!), I think you'd be *VERY* foolish to even consider spending money on a wedding when you're in arrears on your mortgage and maxed out on your credit card. If you're both still out of work, depending on your living arrangements, being married could well have a negative effect on your welfare entitlements at the moment too.

tatli_lokma

sorry to hear your situation OP.

As far as your wedding/engagement rings go, contact the jewellers - you probably won't be able to get your deposit back, but they might allow you to use the already spent €200 on something else. You could pick a nice CZ dress ring and two simple gold or even silver bands for that price. That way at least your money will have something to show for it and you can have a wedding ring.

Regards getting married - what about getting married in Northern Ireland and then travelling from there for a holiday. I think the legal side of the wedding part in NI is around the same as here - about €150, but I'm not sure.You can get good deals with Thomas Cook out of Belfast. You could organise it that you head up the morning of the wedding, go and say your I do's and then jet off that afternoon for a short break. For example they have a week for 2 people in either Malta and the Algarve at under €450 aprox (allowing for an average exchange from £ to € at a rate of £1 = €1.20). So that would fit into your €600 budget.

Obviously spending money would be extra, and also the train/bus fare to Belfast. But maybe with a few more weeks saving you could manage it?

Berty

You can always celebrate your wedding later on with a ceremony in St Lucia, get married now in a registry office and postpone the bigger plans. You can only get married once but you can have a party anytime you want

We will have waited 7 years till we marry next year because of finances.

runawaybishop

Why are you keen to spend money you dont have with a maxed credit card and mortgage arrears? Prioritise gettign yourself settled, then have your wedding. Giving yourself more debt isn't a fun wedding present and will just cause hassle between you in the long run.

tatli_lokma

Oh and I just remembered that I heard recently of someone going to Gibraltar to marry. They 'eloped'. I think you need to give them 3 weeks notice, but from what I have been told you can present any time up to 3 days before the wedding to finalise the process. I just had a quick look on ebookers and flights to Gibraltar are €300 per person. So that plus accom and whatever the legal fees are. So probably not within a €600 budget but maybe within about €1000 you should be able to do it.

Sleepy

runawaybishop wrote: »

Why are you keen to spend money you dont have with a maxed credit card and mortgage arrears? Prioritise gettign yourself settled, then have your wedding. Giving yourself more debt isn't a fun wedding present and will just cause hassle between you in the long run.

Being married confers significant tax advantages on couples in this country. In my own case, we'll be over €300 a month better off being married than not. For many this kind of sum could be the difference between being able to meet their mortgage payments or not.

If that's not the case for the OP, I'd agree with your point: anything more than an €150 registry office job would be spending money that being brutally honest couldn't be justified as the money simply isn't theirs to spend.

Bid08

runawaybishop wrote: »

Why are you keen to spend money you dont have with a maxed credit card and mortgage arrears? Prioritise gettign yourself settled, then have your wedding. Giving yourself more debt isn't a fun wedding present and will just cause hassle between you in the long run.

I agree if you only have 600euro savings maxed credit card and arrears on mortgage would it not be put to better use or leave it saved incase something more important comes up that needs to be paid.

clint_silver

couple years ago, I dj'd a wedding on a wednesday night in a small room in a working mans club for a friend, the club put on a turkey and ham carvery for a tenner a head, no more then 35-40 people at it. He borrowed a suit, she borrowed a dress, her ma made a cake, she picked some flowers from their garden. In terms of atmosphere, it was absolutely brilliant and I still remember it as a great day and night, Ive done weddings in tankardstown and ballymagarvey that werent half as good in terms of atmosphere and hundreds of other other opulent weddings that I'll never remember even if reminded. its all about the people there you see. the rest is trimmings.

pwurple

I agree with the others, get down to the local registry offce for 150, or possibly northern ireland on the bus. Derry has a beautiful registry office.

Oh, and instead of hiding what you are doing, I would discuss the monetary problems with your family, and tell them in advance what you are planning. I would be gutted if my daughter ran away and I missed such an important day in her life because she was afraid of what I would say.

You can always do a bit of a party for renewal of vows when everything comes right and you have some money in ten or twenty years. A nice speech with the story from your husband to be, about how you both lost your jobs at the same time, but loved eachother and brought the families to the reg office instead of for a nice meal... But now, ten years later, you want to show them how much it all meant.

Ps, going on a foreign holiday when your mortgage is in arrears is madness.

tatli_lokma

If getting married in Dublin and not telling the family would set the cat amongst the pigeons, then just don't tell them! I know it will be hard, but perhaps just register in a different county, head down the country for a long weekend and get married. Tell your family you are going away for a long weekend to Scotland, and when you get back tell them you eloped to Gretna Green. They won't know any more than you tell them! You can elope anywhere - it doesn't have to be abroad. You could elope down the country if you wanted. You have to give 3 mths notice in the registry office here so you will have to keep stumm for 3 mths.

I agree to some extent with others that you don't need to spend any more than €150 and your taxi/bus/train fare to the registry office. But if that will cause the problems you say, then spend maybe another €200 and go to a registry office somewhere outside of Dublin and have a night or two in a hotel. Whilst others do have a point about not spending more than you can afford, I also think you need to make some mark on the occasion, even if its just a nice dinner for you both afterwards, so you are never going to get away with only spending €150 flat out.

I think people should give OP a break to an extent - what was foolish in the first place was thinking it would be a good idea to borrow €2k to pay for rings. I know you only lost jobs in Jan 13 but you say you are in arrears on your mortgage already, so even with jobs you must have been just about managing to get by. So putting pressure on yourself to pay a loan for rings was pretty foolhardy. I think it was probably a blessing that you didn't get the loan, otherwise you would have had a much worse financial situation than you have now. At least now OP is thinking a bit more realistically and sees that being married is the important thing and is not spending any more money than they can afford on it.

I advise NI and then a cheap last min hol, or cheaper again, go to Wexford or somewhere, have a registry office wedding there, spend a night or two in a hotel and have a bit of a honeymoon, come back and tell the family you eloped to Wexford!

tatli_lokma

pwurple wrote: »

IOh, and instead of hiding what you are doing, I would discuss the monetary problems with your family, and tell them in advance what you are planning. I would be gutted if my daughter ran away and I missed such an important day in her life because she was afraid of what I would say.

You can always do a bit of a party for renewal of vows when everything comes right and you have some money in ten or twenty years. A nice speech with the story from your husband to be, about how you both lost your jobs at the same time, but loved eachother and brought the families to the reg office instead of for a nice meal... But now, ten years later, you want to show them how much it all meant.

I think the whole party/centre of attention thing is as much an issue for OP as the money side of it. They were originally intending on going to St Lucia with no family so they don't want a family thing.

I understand you would be gutted if your daughter didn't include you in her wedding day, but, and sorry to be blunt, tough! If she decided to elope that would be her choice, and making her feel guilty for it could end up making relations between you very uncomfortable in the future, esp when (if) the grandkids come along. Not everyone wants their family at the wedding and not everyone wants a party afterwards.

runawaybishop

Sleepy wrote: »

Being married confers significant tax advantages on couples in this country. In my own case, we'll be over €300 a month better off being married than not. For many this kind of sum could be the difference between being able to meet their mortgage payments or not.

Yup, this is sadly true. Even though social consider you a couple the revenue don't. Its a super system

D3PO

Sleepy wrote: »

Being married confers significant tax advantages on couples in this country. In my own case, we'll be over €300 a month better off being married than not. For many this kind of sum could be the difference between being able to meet their mortgage payments or not.

.

Can confer but doesnt always. Working couples both in the higher tax bracket like myself and my wife see zero advantage. Anyway back on topic.

OP I agree get married here. Just tell your family you went to the UK or wherever and got hitched they will never know otherwise. Your not in a financial position to elope properly so dont put yourself under the stress.

Beckala

Thanks a million! Really appreciate you taking the time.

Dolbert

Gretna Green? You'd still get to elope but with much less cost.

pwurple

Little Ted wrote: »

I think the whole party/centre of attention thing is as much an issue for OP as the money side of it. They were originally intending on going to St Lucia with no family so they don't want a family thing.

I understand you would be gutted if your daughter didn't include you in her wedding day, but, and sorry to be blunt, tough! If she decided to elope that would be her choice, and making her feel guilty for it could end up making relations between you very uncomfortable in the future, esp when (if) the grandkids come along. Not everyone wants their family at the wedding and not everyone wants a party afterwards.

The OP has said they want to go away because the family will be hurt otherwise. I am simply pointing out that getting married without telling your mum first will also be hurtful.

jjbrien

St Lucia would have been lovley. My wife and I fell into the same situation as yourself. I lost my job after we got engaged she is amercian and in order for us to stay together we had to marry. We went to Liverpool and got married (family didnt know and still dont know) We plan to have a proper wedding when we can at a church but legally we are married. The wedding in Liverpool cost less than 100 pounds. Heres a link http://liverpool.gov.uk/births-marriage-deaths/getting-married/register-office-weddings-and-civil-partnerships/

You could then take a flight to somewhere warm and have a nice honeymoon and come home and nobody would know any diffrent. You only need to give 2 weeks notice in Liverpool too.

Beckala

Thank you so much, this is exactly the answer I was looking for.

And congratulations

Berty

pwurple wrote: »

The OP has said they want to go away because the family will be hurt otherwise. I am simply pointing out that getting married without telling your mum first will also be hurtful.

Worse I know somebody getting married in a registry office in Dublin. Her family only live in Westmeath and they know about it but the couple don't want them there. They want to go there, have a pint afterwards and a nice meal in a restaurant. That's all they want. Personally I couldn't do it without at least our parents but when the op has next to no money then priorities change.

tatli_lokma

pwurple wrote: »

The OP has said they want to go away because the family will be hurt otherwise. I am simply pointing out that getting married without telling your mum first will also be hurtful.

No OP said they were always going away as they didn't want a family wedding. They were thinking not to have it in Dublin as then family would be hurt when they realised they could have come. Therefore if it was in Dublin they would probably have to invite family and then from there it grows as once you invite one side of the family you have to invite the other. Their initial plans never included family (St Lucia) so mammy would have had to suck it up one way or another!