Feel like I have no purpose...

afterglow

Good morning everyone

Very much hoping for some constructive advice/whatever that turns out to be...

At the moment I am just feeling completely lost, and as the title said, like I have no purpose or use to anyone at all, let me explain a little so there is a bit of background instead of me just wining on here...

I'm 25 though closer to 26, and live with my boyfriend of 4 years, for 2 now. we have a great relationship and I love him very much. My difficulties are not relationship ones, thankfully, but general life ones.
I am trying to figure out what I want to study at college/do as a career. Now all of this is made slightly more difficult by the fact that I am totally blind. It is certainly easier to get into 3rd level education than it is to get a job when you have any kind of disability, but everything I think I might want to do at college seems filled with obsticles as well. I was thinking of something to do with IT, but I only did foundation maths for my leaving cert. I was in a school where I was the only blind student, I did have individual tuition for maths, but as was the case with a lot of the teachers, maths teacher, though she meant well, didn't really understand how to teach a blind student maths. now I don't have a head for formulas and such, and I know that, so when I am explaining stuff about teachers, just trying to contextualise stuff, not trying to say I had such a bad raw deal or anything...
so, because I have only done foundation maths, the IT stuff is out, but something I would absolutely love to do is psychology. I am adiment that whatever I do as a career, it's very important that it makes a difference, and I have always been fasinated by why people work the way they do, hense psychology.
Now there are some other courses I'd be interested in also, and I have found the which course expo which I am going to, and the person I've been in touch with there has been really helpful so this is good, and I think this may give some direction, but it doesn't stop me feeling lost.
I know someone, who is blind also, and has a degree in social care, but no one will employ them because they see them as a insurance risk or whatever. I am afraid of 2 things. 1 that I won't be able to do the degree, I have a history of not being so good at college, though I am looking into an access course for next year to learn how to study and write essays etc. 2 that I will do the degree, get through it etc, maybe even manage a master's, but still I will get no job. I hate the idea that I am of no use to anyone, and also that I have no purpose. I absolutely resent the idea of being stuck at home doing nothing on social welfare for the rest of my life. I know there are probably some people on disability who are quite content to be, but I am not one of those. and aside from wanting to help people, make a difference and have a purpose, selfish as it may be, I would actually like to have a job sometime so I don't have to struggle from week to week as I do now. We do get some help in the form of allowances and things which I am really greatful for, but I would like to be able to make my own way in the world eventually. Another aspect of university life that I would love is all the clubs and societies and opportunity to make new friends.
I just feel so lost/confused because it seems like all of this is somehow out of reach, maybe even pointless if it won't lead to anything at the end of it all. and yes, I know I am not the only one without a job at the moment, so comments like that needn't be posted if that's alright as I am well aware that the economic situation is not good at the minute, like everyone is...
I just don't know what to do and don't like feeling like this.
Any advice/thoughts appreciated
Thanks for reading and sorry for the length of the post.

genie_us

Hi afterglow

I can really relate to how you're feeling right now feeling lost and not knowing what you want to do.

I'm 32 in a few weeks and only in the last couple of years I've finally figured it out. I did a certificate course for IT in college and I've been working in that field for 13 years now. You definitely don't need maths to start a career in IT! If you're willing to start small and work your way up through Helpdesks etc you'll get there. IT is more about logic and common sense in my opinion. I am absolutely useless at maths and it hasn't affected me one bit.

Anyway, in my experience the worst bit is the not knowing. What should I do? What do I want to do? My advice is to go with your gut - if psychology is what you want then go for it! Worry afterwards about getting hired, but you definitely won't get hired if you don't try.

You only get one shot at life - do what you think will make you happy. I wasted 2 years in a job I detested because I was worried about leaving a secure job to go into the unknown. I figured out what my dream job would be (photographer) and I decided to study it in my spare time. I've since completed a Diploma course and I'm currently gaining experience in it with the eventual aim of doing it full time. It's a scary thought, leaving this secure dependable job, but a job that does not make me happy.

If nothing else doing the course will give you something to focus on and you never know where it might lead you.

skyfall2012

Hi Afterglow, The best way to approach this is strategy. You want to go to college, you need to talk to the some of the colleges that offer psychology courses and find out resources are available for people who are blind.

Firstly: Trinity college has an access to university course which is a good way of getting a feel for college life it is one year long includes psychology and sociology, that sets you up to getting into Trinity's Psychology course if you decide to continue that line of study. You can read about it here: http://www.tcd.ie/Trinity_Access/prospective/access/

Secondly: There are American Universities giving free online courses, this is very new only started in April 2012. I have signed up for a Social Psychology course starting in June and will be 6 weeks long and I will receive a certificate of completion when done successfully. They also do IT courses. This might give you a taste for both courses and you can decide which one you would prefer.
Follow this link for the information: https://www.coursera.org/

Thirdly: I would read biography's of successful people who have the same visual impairment as you and learn how they overcame adversity and be inspired by them, because the only thing that can stop you, becoming what you want to become, is you, not your blindness.

There is a' Hearing and Deafness' forum on boards.ie I would recommend you ask them to put a 'Visual Impairment' forum up as well, so that people like yourself can discuss and give advise on how to overcome problems that you face.

I was reading this thread a few months back on the 'Hearing and Deafness' forum written by a lecturer looking for some advise on how best to teach a student he had who was deaf, I found it interesting maybe you will too. http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056436142

Good luck Afterglow:)

afterglow

Thank you for your replies, and for taking the time to write. I am going to the expo like I said soon so hopefully that helps. And to the first poster, yes it is the not knowing and feeling lost that is the worst, it's great to hear you are working towards doing something you want now.
Thanks again for the replies guys