My situation

EmmaLeogue

So things are difficult at the minute !
I'm living away from home and struggling. Struggling to figure out where I belong, where I fit in and what's my plans. I want to move back home but then I feel like I'm being childish about it. My parents are unbelievably supportive yet I don't want to admit defeat ! My dad says things like 'its better to try something and say u failed than not try at all' & 'you can't fit a round peg into a square hole'. I don't think I can honestly say I'm happy right now. College is grand but it could be better. Things are starting to spiral now and everything is getting on top of me. I think because I'm not happy inside its making me not happy in other aspects of my life i.e. my job, college etc. I think it might be time to go talk to someone; maybe my parents or a counsellor in college that could help me process my thoughts and feelings. I definitely do internalise a lot of what I'm feeling and it's time to let it out ! To anyone who will listen I really do have the best friends and family anyone could ask for and I'm not just saying that !!

Would love an outsiders opinion on my situation.

Ham Sambo

Congratulations, by admitting that you need to talk to somebody about how you feel right now means that you have put yourself on the road to recovery, and by the way, isn't it a good thing that you have such fantastic family support, best of luck!
:-)

EmmaLeogue

Ham Sambo wrote: »

Congratulations, by admitting that you need to talk to somebody about how you feel right now means that you have put yourself on the road to recovery, and by the way, isn't it a good thing that you have such fantastic family support, best of luck!
:-)

Thanks for your reply hamsambo !! I feel very blessed to have such a supportive family behind me regardless of what happens and I only wish everyone could have the same ! Thanks again for your best wishes !

Ham Sambo

Make that appointment tomorrow with your college counseller, there is loads of help out there at the moment, just don't feel that you have to go it alone, take care of yourself.

FoxT

It sounds like you have a good relationship with your parents , which is great. I'd suggest you chat with them, let them know where you are at.

I can understand that you may be putting yourself under a bit of pressure to try stand on your own 2 feet & make a go of things - and IMO that is a very healthy & natural feeling to have.

Nevertheless, your parents will probably have already sensed that all is not right & may well be concerned. Talking to them may not solve your own issues - but it will keep the lines of communication open with your parents & maintain the good relationship you seem to have with them. It will also probably alleviate any concerns they may have about you.

Best of luck,

FoxT

EmmaLeogue

Ham Sambo wrote: »

Make that appointment tomorrow with your college counseller, there is loads of help out there at the moment, just don't feel that you have to go it alone, take care of yourself.

That's the plan hamsambo !! First thing on my to do list in the morning !!

Thanks for your message !

EmmaLeogue

FoxT wrote: »

It sounds like you have a good relationship with your parents , which is great. I'd suggest you chat with them, let them know where you are at.

I can understand that you may be putting yourself under a bit of pressure to try stand on your own 2 feet & make a go of things - and IMO that is a very healthy & natural feeling to have.

Nevertheless, your parents will probably have already sensed that all is not right & may well be concerned. Talking to them may not solve your own issues - but it will keep the lines of communication open with your parents & maintain the good relationship you seem to have with them. It will also probably alleviate any concerns they may have about you.

Best of luck,

FoxT

FoxT, thank you ! My parents are my biggest supporters Thank God ! I know they think that all is not well with me and my dad is especially concerned about my mental state ! I do internalise a lot which is something I have started to reduce but keeping lines of communicate open with them ! I do want to make a go of being independent etc but I believe there may come a time where enough is enough and home is the place for me !

Thank you for your message, take care

tony81

Just try to relax and enjoy college and work. You are ridiculously lucky to have a dad with that attitude. At the same time, you're an adult now so try to persevere while you figure things out.

I'll bet you are so busy that when you're not working you're at college, and when you're not at college you're with friends..

It's very important to spend some time on your own. Take an evening off, switch off the computer, phone and tv, and start writing about your thoughts and contemplate your options over the next few years. It's up to you how methodological you want to be as there are resources online that can help you plan your career, or analyse your work-life balance. It can even be therapeutic to plan a holiday so you have something nice and concrete to look forward to as opposed to endless possibilities that leave you feeling a bit lost.

kat.mac

Hi OP,

I think you're being really sensible in a very tough situation, good on you for that. Admitting to yourself that you're struggling is a huge step towards better things, IME.

I honestly think you're on the exact right track. Talking to someone sounds like a great idea, even just to get your thoughts and feelings in a straight line. I also find writing things down brings a lot of clarity.

I think you should let your parents know that you are taking steps to get back on track; it will give them peace of mind and allow them to support you in the way that you need. The fact that they are so supportive and that you're aware of how important their support is is absolutely heartwarming. That kind of support is worth its weight in gold and diamonds and will get you through anything!

I guess the final thing is that you need to work on finding the balance between being independent and self-reliant, and knowing when to reach out and lean on the support that's available to you. IMHO, moving home (even for a little while) might give you the space to relax your mind and give you a chance to figure the other stuff out. You'll be back in a loving, nurturing environment by the sounds of it, but from your posts it seems to me that you'll definitely be motivated to get back out once everything else is sorted so allow yourself that little luxury for now.

Best of luck OP, keep the chin up

EmmaLeogue

kat.mac wrote: »

Hi OP,

I think you're being really sensible in a very tough situation, good on you for that. Admitting to yourself that you're struggling is a huge step towards better things, IME.

I honestly think you're on the exact right track. Talking to someone sounds like a great idea, even just to get your thoughts and feelings in a straight line. I also find writing things down brings a lot of clarity.

I think you should let your parents know that you are taking steps to get back on track; it will give them peace of mind and allow them to support you in the way that you need. The fact that they are so supportive and that you're aware of how important their support is is absolutely heartwarming. That kind of support is worth its weight in gold and diamonds and will get you through anything!

I guess the final thing is that you need to work on finding the balance between being independent and self-reliant, and knowing when to reach out and lean on the support that's available to you. IMHO, moving home (even for a little while) might give you the space to relax your mind and give you a chance to figure the other stuff out. You'll be back in a loving, nurturing environment by the sounds of it, but from your posts it seems to me that you'll definitely be motivated to get back out once everything else is sorted so allow yourself that little luxury for now.

Best of luck OP, keep the chin up

Kat.mac thank you so much for your reply. It is extremely heartwarming to get a reply like yours. Since I posted this thread online last night I have taken steps in sorting out my head by booking an appointment with my college counsellor to see could she perhaps give me some guidance as to what I could do to make my situation that little bit easier.

To know you took time out from your busy life to write such a nice reply just shows that this country has some amazing people in it and that outweighs anything bad that happens.

kat.mac

See, you're feeling better already! Keep at it and stay positive!

EmmaLeogue

To those following this thread, I have made progress in that I have an appointment with a counsellor for next week and my parents know about it !
They are very proud that I have made the first step in getting my head straight and I'm on the road to hopefully becoming a more happier person both inside and out & all I can wish is that those reading this, are the same : happy

Luca Brasi

EmmaLeogue wrote: »

So things are difficult at the minute !
I'm living away from home and struggling. Struggling to figure out where I belong, where I fit in and what's my plans. I want to move back home but then I feel like I'm being childish about it. My parents are unbelievably supportive yet I don't want to admit defeat ! My dad says things like 'its better to try something and say u failed than not try at all' & 'you can't fit a round peg into a square hole'. I don't think I can honestly say I'm happy right now. College is grand but it could be better. Things are starting to spiral now and everything is getting on top of me. I think because I'm not happy inside its making me not happy in other aspects of my life i.e. my job, college etc. I think it might be time to go talk to someone; maybe my parents or a counsellor in college that could help me process my thoughts and feelings. I definitely do internalise a lot of what I'm feeling and it's time to let it out ! To anyone who will listen I really do have the best friends and family anyone could ask for and I'm not just saying that !!

Would love an outsiders opinion on my situation.

Firstly there is such a thing as the January Blues. This is not to trivialise your situation but often after the hype of Christmas there is a let down.
You are facing in to a few months of study and exams are coming down the line. This will of course be causing concern especially if you feel that this particular course is not for you. Definetley go and se the Colleg counsellor. They wont hear anything from you that they havent heard before. Sometimes it takes a completely independent voice to bring clarity to your situation

EmmaLeogue

Luca Brasi wrote: »

Firstly there is such a thing as the January Blues. This is not to trivialise your situation but often after the hype of Christmas there is a let down.
You are facing in to a few months of study and exams are coming down the line. This will of course be causing concern especially if you feel that this particular course is not for you. Definetley go and se the Colleg counsellor. They wont hear anything from you that they havent heard before. Sometimes it takes a completely independent voice to bring clarity to your situation

What I'm feeling at the minute is something which I have been feeling for quite awhile. I am a big believer in something being the January blues but I don't think my situation is. An independent voice is what I need right now and that is why I posted here and made an appointment to see the college counsellor.

ilovenerds

Hi! I am actually in a very similar situation to you. Or at least I was.

I recently moved away from home for the first time.. to Brussels... by myself.. to work in a field which did not correspond to my degree. Essentially I snowballed myself with new things and felt very much out of control. You are not alone here.

It really surprised me how much our parents actually do for us. I thought that I was a self-sufficient entity just because I could cook for myself, when really there are so many more elements to running a household. It is okay to feel overwhelmed at this initially.

I am glad that you have decided to see a counsellor. I am not brave enough to share my emotional side with anyone so I really respect your courage in doing that. One point which I will mention is that a lot of people suffer from iron deficiency when they first move out of home (change in diet etc). Reduced ferritine levels can lead to depression which I experienced very badly. It created very negative feelings and thoughts about my new situation. Maybe you could get this checked with a doctor, just in case.

Since going on iron tablets I have a lot more energy and enthusiasm for my new life. It is fine if you feel that you need to go home in a few months from now but do please allow yourself the opportunity to enjoy your new life instead of pining for your old secure life. You may discover that it no longer fulfils you in the same way it did before you left.

Best of luck,
Niamh

EmmaLeogue

ilovenerds wrote: »

Hi! I am actually in a very similar situation to you. Or at least I was.

I recently moved away from home for the first time.. to Brussels... by myself.. to work in a field which did not correspond to my degree. Essentially I snowballed myself with new things and felt very much out of control. You are not alone here.

It really surprised me how much our parents actually do for us. I thought that I was a self-sufficient entity just because I could cook for myself, when really there are so many more elements to running a household. It is okay to feel overwhelmed at this initially.

I am glad that you have decided to see a counsellor. I am not brave enough to share my emotional side with anyone so I really respect your courage in doing that. One point which I will mention is that a lot of people suffer from iron deficiency when they first move out of home (change in diet etc). Reduced ferritine levels can lead to depression which I experienced very badly. It created very negative feelings and thoughts about my new situation. Maybe you could get this checked with a doctor, just in case.

Since going on iron tablets I have a lot more energy and enthusiasm for my new life. It is fine if you feel that you need to go home in a few months from now but do please allow yourself the opportunity to enjoy your new life instead of pining for your old secure life. You may discover that it no longer fulfils you in the same way it did before you left.

Best of luck,
Niamh

Niamh, thank you for your reply. I would encourage you to go any talk to someone about your situation. There is nothing wrong with going to talk to someone and it certainly isn't embarrassing admitting you need a bit of help. I think I might need to go home to get readjusted with my life because it does feel at the minute like I'm quite detached. Maybe going to the doctor might be an idea to check my iron levels actually thank you.
Are u happy Niamh in your new life ?

Thank you

ilovenerds

EmmaLeogue wrote: »

Niamh, thank you for your reply. I would encourage you to go any talk to someone about your situation. There is nothing wrong with going to talk to someone and it certainly isn't embarrassing admitting you need a bit of help. I think I might need to go home to get readjusted with my life because it does feel at the minute like I'm quite detached. Maybe going to the doctor might be an idea to check my iron levels actually thank you.
Are u happy Niamh in your new life ?

Thank you

Yes, the good news is that I am very happy with my new life! I get to travel anywhere I want and my job is well paid. My point was that your feelings may also be linked to a physical problem. I don't think I need to talk to a counsellor as for me my depression was a physical consequence of my iron deficiency. The elements of my new life have always been positive. I just wasn't in a position to see that since I was unwell physically. If I ever was in a situation where I was emotionally having a tough time I think I would speak to someone.

It was very sweet of you to worry. This is supposed to be a thread in aid of you after all!

Best wishes!

EmmaLeogue

ilovenerds wrote: »

Yes, the good news is that I am very happy with my new life! I get to travel anywhere I want and my job is well paid. My point was that your feelings may also be linked to a physical problem. I don't think I need to talk to a counsellor as for me my depression was a physical consequence of my iron deficiency. The elements of my new life have always been positive. I just wasn't in a position to see that since I was unwell physically. If I ever was in a situation where I was emotionally having a tough time I think I would speak to someone.

It was very sweet of you to worry. This is supposed to be a thread in aid of you after all!

Best wishes!

We all need to be worried about sometimes
Thank you for your suggestions and well wishes.

All the best for you too Niamh !

Emma x