Losing confidence in myself.

TimeToShine

Hello everyone,

When I was younger (15-18) I remember being very confident in myself. I always considered myself intelligent and well able for schoolwork and even sports if I put the time into it. Now i'm 21 and i'm losing all confidence in my abilities. It's like my brain is just not able to click like it used to. I'll often read a page then have to go back and ask myself "what did I just read?". I used to be very good at any kind of aptitude/IQ tests and enjoyed them but recently i've been applying for summer jobs (in 4th year engineering if it makes a difference) and been rejected every time because my aptitude test wasn't sufficient. I specifically remember during these tests (and even college exams) rather than thinking about the problems my brain would start saying (you're an idiot now, back when you were 17 you'd be able to do this no problem) and subsequently start pondering how I got so stupid so quickly and it's really getting me down. I don't do badly in college, I work very hard and my grades reflect that but I feel like its down purely to hard work and nothing more, i'm a brick wall with no flair or smart thinking and just throwing information at it and spending so much time it has to stick. For some reason I also try to give out the impression that I'm smarter than i actually am and that i do a lot less work than everyone else, obviously a deep seated emotional problem i have to deal with. This is in contrast to when I did my leaving cert, I remember i'd do a lot less and once i understood the concept i'd be fine. Lately i've started taking a more "just learn it off because you're too dumb to understand it" approach and i know full well this will not help me in future. Now I know not everyone is "smart" per se and i might sound like an entitled brat but i'm just going by comparison to myself when i was younger. My confidence is at an all time low at the moment from every aspect and i don't quite know what to do.

it's a bit vague but i just needed to get all of that out, i appreciate and thank you for taking the time to read it.

Canard

A lot of people can do aptitude tests, not everyone can keep up good grades in an engineering degree. Besides, aptitude tests are so varied - last time I sat one my percentiles ranged from 24 to 99! But that doesn't make me an idiot, nor does it make you one if yours weren't up to scratch. Maths is considered by a lot of people to be the pinnacle of intelligence and I honestly don't see how you could be rote-learning engineering anyway; maths was never something that lent itself to that, I found. It sounds like you aren't giving yourself enough credit.

There are loads of brain training things out there that are supposed to be useful, why not try some? Though if you're getting good grades that would really be the main thing. It's all well and good to do well in aptitude tests and find patterns in things, but it's another to be able to do the practical, useful things demanded by a college degree.

skyfall2012

You can practise for IQ tests, you can find books in the library. They really are not a test of intelligence.

They have discovered that there is a lot of different types of intelligence e.g. emotional intelligence, social intelligence which will get you a lot further in your career than getting a 2.1 in your degree. (I recommend you try for the 2.1 anyway better to have both)

College puts so much pressure on people with exams, meeting project deadlines, it can sometimes affect how you are thinking and feeling and to that end I think seeing the college counsellor would help you straighten your thoughts out.

I also try to give out the impression that I'm smarter than i actually am and that i do a lot less work than everyone else, obviously a deep seated emotional problem i have to deal with.

Not sure if you are joking, or is it a joke that deep down inside you know is the truth. If so I would bring it up with the counsellor.

I really hope you work through this. Try not to worry too much.