Back with ex?

LegacyUser

Hi guys.

My story is long and meandering to be honest, but rather than go on and on, I will try to keep it simple and clear.

In the most basic terms, under a year ago me and my long-term GF broke up. It was a horrible time, but we always remained close because despite what happened, we both always and still do love each other. We had a few rocky months where we both played away from home because we both felt something was wrong.

That something wrong was 90% me. I was confused beyond belief. I loved her but wanted something else, this confused me greatly. We have both agreed, that what we really wanted was a break and some time to ourselves, but other people came along and muddied the waters.

Since the breakup, we have been in relationships. Hers was a whirlwind romance that came to nothing, and she was hurt by it. But it seems she's over that. One of mine, was very slow-moving and more like a part-time thing in all honesty.

The thing is, I still deeply deeply love my ex, like the real deal that will never go away, and recently she has been droppping pretty obvious hints that she wants us to get back together because she still loves me and can't bear not to have me in her life. I feel the same way.

But, I am still in this "part-time" relationship which I intend to end asap. She's great and a wonderful person, but I don't have any deep feelings for her and it's only fair to let her go...regardless of the situation with my ex.

What's really bugging me, is that since me and my ex have agreed to try again (I have been trying to find the right moment to end it with my current gf) she has been rather cool about everything.

Is she not 100% sure that she truly wants to try again? Or is it because I am still with my current gf?

She's a hard woman to read at the best of times, but now I am stumped. Has she already gone off the idea? Or can she not 'feel it' until I am free and available?

(please don't judge me on 'leading on' my current gf. Neither of us are in love with each other...it was always more of a physical thing)

Any input would be appreciated!

judgefudge

It seems like only time will tell really. First thing to do is break up with the current girlfriend. Once that's done you can judge properly the situation. If its a case that your ex is still playing it cool maybe you aren't ready to try again. If you want to be with her it's a chance you have to take.

LegacyUser

judgefudge wrote: »

It seems like only time will tell really. First thing to do is break up with the current girlfriend. Once that's done you can judge properly the situation. If its a case that your ex is still playing it cool maybe you aren't ready to try again. If you want to be with her it's a chance you have to take.

Thanks judgefudge.

You are most probably correct. It is probably a time issue alright. I will end it very soon with the current GF. Then see what happens.

There's a good chance that she needs me to be free and for her to be certain that I am all hers and not confused anymore. Which I am not! She is just amazing, and I want her so bad, but also I don't want to scare her or smother her with affection either.

Should I treat it like a new relationship? As in be cool and see how things go?

On one hand this is ideal, but on the other hand I don't want her to think I am the unsure one as I am playing cool!

I guess some sort of middle ground is best?

SunnyDub1

That situation is only something you can judge. If it doesn't feel right well then it properly isn't.

My opinion would be to finish properly with the current GF and give it a go with your ex, time will tell whether it is meant to be or not.

CaraMay

Of course she is annoyed that you haven't finished the relationship?!?! It only takes ten minutes so I guess she is doubting your commitment to try again. I know I would be.

Have you continued to see the other girl? If so, what are you playing at? How can you possibly not find the right time?

LegacyUser

SunnyDub1 wrote: »

That situation is only something you can judge. If it doesn't feel right well then it properly isn't.

My opinion would be to finish properly with the current GF and give it a go with your ex, time will tell whether it is meant to be or not.

Thanks!

It doesn't feel totally right, but she is a complicated lady! I remember at the start of our relationship all those years ago, it didn't feel right for a few days, I was like 'uh-oh'...then we had a talk about it, then suddenly we were declaring our undyling love for one another!

I guess I am hoping she doesn't want to get burned or whatever, and really, it is a complicated situation we are in. I just have to hope the love we have for one another wins out in the end!

Hopefully!

SunnyDub1

Post New Thread wrote: »

Thanks!

It doesn't feel totally right, but she is a complicated lady! I remember at the start of our relationship all those years ago, it didn't feel right for a few days, I was like 'uh-oh'...then we had a talk about it, then suddenly we were declaring our undyling love for one another!

I guess I am hoping she doesn't want to get burned or whatever, and really, it is a complicated situation we are in. I just have to hope the love we have for one another wins out in the end!

Hopefully!

It must be love if you can put up with her complications and uncertainty :rolleyes:

each to their own but I wouldn't be able to rebuild a relationship with someone if it didn't feel right and things where complicated.
For me a relationship should be about certainty, love and happiness, but again each to their own.

Best of luck anyway.